To be really fucked off with my family.

[Huskyflodynamo]

I have a bad cold, the 'feel like death warmed up' type where you can't stop shivering and just want to take to bed til it's all over.

6month old ds has a sniffle and is being totally clingy, whiney and just wants to be carried everywhere. I am obliging because it is my responsibility to make sure his needs are met above my own.

This morning, I asked dh to stay at home because I feel so shit and had no sleep. He went to work anyway and I rang my mum who lives two miles away if she would mind popping for an hour to mind ds while i catch up on some sleep. She declined and said she is tired and has things to do.

I have two sisters who live within 5 minutes drive but they are busy as well. One is having a riding lesson after work and the other is going to a wedding show with her friend.

I absolutely cannot rely on my family to help me out in a situation like this and it pisses me off. My sisters don't have kids so they don't understand how hard it can be. I know people have their own lives to lead but ffs surely family comes first?

what is agist?

Op, a cold is not ill enough to ask people to change their plans, therefore yabu.

MM, congratulations on making yourself look a cunt. Your aggression is uncalled for.

I think that if you had said 'AIBU for being a bit disappointed' you would have been fine. But throwing your toys out of the pram because your family didn't rally round over a cold is a bit much.

guess what geek - I don't actually care what you think ..... has anyone told you that MN is not real life?

that would be ageist? To agist is, in English law, to take cattle to graze, in exchange for payment.

has stewie got the family braincell today?

No one is getting cross that OP asked for help. They are getting cross that when her family had other commitments that meant they couldn't come and help her out with her cold she started bitching about them online.

It's OK for her husband and the father of her baby to leave her without help, because he is a Man and a Doctor and Important, but not for her mother or sisters to do it because they are Women and Not Doctors and Not Important and must therefore pick up the slack when he is doing Big Manly Things. And if they don't then it's their fault when people don't breastfeed.

Hmmm. For me, I think you are being a little bit unreasonable. Your family have their things to do in the daytime, your DH has work commitments, just take lots of Lemsips and Beechams and rest when your LO does.

However, I think just popping over a few hours really isn't anything too major.

Hope you all feel better soon.

i wonder if OP asked her father and brothers too?

Yabu to be pissed off at your family members.

Yanbu to feel disappointed, tired, ill and just downright grotty. It's enough to make anyone feel ratty and hacked off.

Take to your bed with the baby. Surround him with toys and just keep warm and doze. With a bit of luck, he might nod off and let you have a snooze too.

Take care.

what has stewie's dyslexia got to do with anything .... about as relevant as breastfeeding to this discussion

erm, MM do you know anything about dyslexia?

PMSL @ Prof's remark.

Prof, can I be your slave as well?

Booo my brother died from bowel cancer two years ago and my father is an alcoholic. Now do fuck off with your nasty comments.

Sorry I didn't mean to tell you to fuck off boo. I can't ask them for reasons stated above.

MassiveMammaries, the rules of this TalkBoard do not prevent me from extending the subject or drawing analogies. They do, however, say "We don't allow personal attacks"

This:
"are you off your empty head?"
is a personal attack

As is this:
"has stewie got the family braincell today?"

Either stick to the rules of the debate, or I do what MN encourages us to do and report your posts.

You asked what breastfeeding has to do with this. The analogy I was drawing was:

• lots of people have been saying that expecting family support when someone has a cold is wrong in some way
• I was making the not-exactly-far-reaching assumption that many people will feel the same way about people expecting family support when struggling with breastfeeding
• In doing so, I was alluding to the fact that breastfeeding rates are low in the UK, and that one significant reason why, is that many people put all the weight of providing breastfeeding support on paid-for professional help and so very few people have access the kind of free support from family and friends that is widely available in other countries.

Stewie,

It was a question with a lot of unpleasant underlying assumptions. This whole thread is just extremely unpleasant to someone who is, I suspect, looking for some light relief when she is feeling awful.

How about you leave the feminist claptrap at the door. This was not posted in the feminist section. Her husband is a doctor. He was right to attend to his patients. And, guess what, were it a male SAHP and his female doctor wife, it would have been just as right.

Husky, I would retire to bed and get away from the bile.

larry how was there unpleasant underlying assumptions?

Boo,

Ok, why did you ask the question?

You were clearly driving at the fact that the OP was complicit in some kind of sexism, when you know nothing about her family (as she has pointed out to you).

Are you not even a tiny bit little chastened to ask about her father and brothers and get the reply you did?