to think you should not let a newborn scream for 2 hours?

[LacyLeggins]

arghhhh! i cant take the crying anymore so have escaped to the bedroom. dp has his friend over with new baby (4 weeks). baby has been screaming since 5 pm and is still screaming now!!! dp's friend is adamant the baby does not need feeding until 8pm and has just left the baby in the carseat!

i have put my dc to bed at 7pm and am dreaming of some peace. AIBU and should i say something or just keep my nose out?

Ah. They'll be following a certain well known baby guru then.

It's hard but I don't think you can say anything. If they have made an informed decision that they are going to follow some sort of 'don't pick them up or they learn to like it' feeding routine that is the subject of certain books, then that's their choice. Anything you say against it will be seen as a criticism of their parenting!

They're not staying overnight are they?

Sounds like my sis who would only feed the baby every 3 1/2 hrs at the earliest, it took a major row with her DP [she knew best as a she was Mum and breast feeding] and a very frank discussion with Health Visitor when baby was 9 weeks old and 6 oz over birth weight.
We have never been forgiven for voicing an opinion, but I still think I would say something along the lines of feeding patterns change as baby grows from your experience.
Poor you there is nothing worse then listening to a baby cry incessantly hope she feeds soon.

god, i'd find it hard not to say something!

could you not do it subtly and ask to have a cwtch with the baby???

Hmmm that's a tricky one. Sounds like they're following a routine, which I guess is up to them.
I had a friend who did this and it sent me round the twist - I wanted to scoop the baby up and feed it myself! I did drop a couple of hints but was too much of a coward to say something outright.

Aside from the feeding, isn't that a long time for a new baby to be in the car seat?
Perhaps you could offer to give it a cuddle 'as it's so adorable you can't resist'

poor baby

I would say something I could help myself.

couldn't

Oh the poor baby

I would have to pick the baby up at the very least. Either that or leave the house. It goes against every instinct not to comfort a crying baby IMO.

POOR BABY.

i wouldn't be able to contain myself.

might also be worth pointing out that carseats are for transporting babies in cars, not dumping them in because you can't be bothered to comfort them.

poor thing

if they want to do some routine tthing so early, well that's up to them, but in your house you are entitled to say something.

i have already tried cuddling him but he just screams and screams :( iam sure he is hungry. i have dropped hints like 'aww poor mite sounds hungry', 'shall i cuddle him whilst you prepare the feed?' but am just met with 'no he isnt due a feed until 8'.

poor baby :(

You could at least point out that babies shouldn't be in car seats for longer than an hour at a time as it's a very bad position for their developing spines.

And ask them to take baby home if they won't keep it quiet. It would drive me nuts too.

Poor mite.

That is horrible, for you, for the baby - and can't be nice for the parents either. I would HAVE to say something. It would drive me demented. Poor little baby. I was feeding non-stop in the evenings when mine were little.

I seriously doubt they are following you-know-who, or if they are they haven't actually read her book. Firstly, she says feed a hungry baby - and secondly there is no feed scheduled for 8pm!

Either they are 1 deaf 2 demented or 3 completely panicked as parents and sticking to regular feedtimes as a rock in stormy seas.

"he isnt due a feed until 8" - tell them that baby obviously can't tell the time and that teh routine obviously needs to be flexible change !

Good luck.

i want to say something, as it is awful, the poor baby is screaming not just crying :(

but how can i say something without offending? ive already tried dropping hints! think i might have to walk the dog!

Of course you can say something! Its your house and the baby is distressed. Don't hide upstairs. The wanker friend needs to know that 4 week old babies do not follow routines. Gah!

Do you have a baby? Could you pretend that you would like to give him a cuddle and then take him into the kitchen and give him a little formula? It would be so tempting.

i think i'd rather offfend than listen to that tbh!

I would have to point out that the baby doesn't know what the time is yet. It's like any books that have "rules" the babies haven't read them.

ali yes i have 3 dcs but breastfeed lol!!! cant offer him my milk

So hard to say/not say something. Terrible dilemma.

There is always that "catch all" chestnut of "growth spurt"..... ????? Which can be dropped in to cover a multitude of difficult situations.....

YANBU. Far too little to be left to scream, not good for him/her IMHO. DD is 8wks old and I guess I am the opposite of the routine type.

Surely even those following a routine do feed babies if they NEED it! My ds is 19 weeks and he still isn't too the clock with feeds (I think he won't be until school...) and why does it matter?! I tried a rountine, but still could never EVER ignore his cries. Poor thing. I want to cuddle the baby and I cant even hear it. And I'm not even that soft really.

God, you're all so polite.

I would have to say "if you are not going to feed the baby, which is what he wants btw, then could you please take him home because it may not bother you to listen to him screaming for hours but it sure as hell bothers me".

Come ON! Speak out ...

You have to say something - clearly hinting isn't working. I'm a big fan of routine but a hungry baby needs feeding.