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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want grandad to pay for private primary?

279 replies

educationeducationeducation · 07/10/2010 16:50

I've namechanged for this.

My DS is in primary 4 at a local state school which I moved to get him into because of its good reputation. I only ever expected him to go there for a year or 2 while I was on maternity leave. However, I was made redundant and have been unable to get another job.

We live within walking distance of a 'perfect' private school which has an intake of an extra class in primary 5 (next year).

I know we could wait until he is due to start secondary (same school) when he will be eligible for a bursery but I want him to go next year. If I had ANY spare money I would use it to send him there, but we are currently classed as 'living in poverty' (4 people on £17k).

There are 2 main reasons why I dont want to wait. Firstly, his IQ is higher than the top 1% of the population. He used to be 4 years ahead of his peers but this has shrunk to 2. His current school has very little to offer him academically. He cruises and has become quite arrogant about being smarter then the other children (and teachers). His school has a 'softly, softly' attitude to what I deem bad behaviour. I can see how this is appropriate for other children but he just manipulates and take advantage. He needs a stricter environment.

Secondly, the children he has chosen to be friends with are not the kind of children I want him to associate with. For example his best friend gets coke for breakfast and is dropped off at school by a shell-suited mother with the obligatory fag hanging out of her mouth. From these children my DS has picked up such an unpleasant accent that I am frequently embarassed at hearing him speak. I really dont want him exposed to these influences any longer.

So I think it's reasonable to want my Dad (a millionaire on paper) to not wait until secondary to help pay school fees. He thinks private primary is indulgent and unnecessary and can't seem to fathom that by the time DS is 11 too much damage will have been done. I went from a good state primary to a private secondary and I never felt like I fitted in.
I know Dad can afford it. I'm an only child so it's not like he has other grand DCs other than mine to provide for.

AIBU?

OP posts:
DetectivePotato · 07/10/2010 19:23

Damn, I wanted her/him to come back and tell us they are genuine!

Has given me a great laugh, especially Pag.

loopyloops · 07/10/2010 19:33

.

emptyshell · 07/10/2010 19:43

We're missing the pyjamas at school gates thing for true authenticity.

Also - true classy kids get Red Bull for breakfast, Coke is soooo 2009 (sadly true).

TootaLaFruit · 07/10/2010 19:44

... OP, get back here. Cam aaaaaaaaaaaan!

pigletmania · 07/10/2010 19:45

Its a wind up, she dumped and ran.

grannyannie2010 · 07/10/2010 19:46

I don't think you are being unreasonable in wanting the best for your child. If he is picking up an unpleasant accent at this school then I can understand why you would be upset about this. If he is a very clever child which you undoubtedly think he is, then a good accent will be useful to him in later life, discourage this friendship!

However I do think you are being unreasonable in expecting your father to pay for his education. This is your responsibility, not your father's. Where is the child's father? Does he also expect your father to take responsibility for the education of your child. Bad show!

I suggest you remove your child from that school immediately and educate him at home away from the influences of coke and tobacco. He will get a much better education and you are out of a job in any case and will enjoy the challenges of home schooling.

gentlyfalling · 07/10/2010 19:47

We're missing the pyjamas at school gates thing for true authenticity. Also - true classy kids get Red Bull for breakfast, Coke is soooo 2009

PMSL Grin [hyperventilating emoticon] Grin

Jajas · 07/10/2010 19:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grannyannie2010 · 07/10/2010 20:05

I do assume you mean cocaine when you said his friend was having coke for breakfast?

74claire · 07/10/2010 20:07

just to be a pedant, OP says 4 people in the household, not 4 kids . . .

ShirleyKnot · 07/10/2010 20:11

Riven, Pag and empty - HAHAHA

booyhoo · 07/10/2010 20:12

where the fuck are they coming from? is it a full moon or something?

sethstarkaddersmum · 07/10/2010 20:17

all the current trolls are Washwithcare, now her last identity has been blown.

MissBeehiving · 07/10/2010 20:17

I've larfed so much that I need a Tena Lady Blush

eventide · 07/10/2010 20:23

YABU in thinking that your child is super intelligent as IQ tests are completely unreliable for under 18's. It is as likely that your child is now 'only' 2 years ahead of his peers because he was an early bloomer and the other kids are catching up as it is that the school is at fault.
It is also very rude to expect your father to pay for anything that he has not explicitly offered to pay for.

LollipopViolet · 07/10/2010 20:33

YABU.

Let him be a CHILD, and if you want a private education for him, you pay for it! Although your attitude leaves a lot to be desired, so maybe the state school will teach him that the world isn't full of arrogant snobs.

That's if you're real. If not, then go and have a cuppa and a Biscuit and try a bit harder, alright?

Jajas · 07/10/2010 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thefirstmrsDeVere · 07/10/2010 20:39

I soooo get the unpleasant accent thing.

My 7 & 2 and half year old have picked up a dreadful East London accent.

And we are from NORF LARNDEN innit

So embarressing.

zukiecat · 07/10/2010 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sausagerolemodel · 07/10/2010 21:00

I also have a sneaking suspicion that a prerequisite to being awarded a bursary is being able to spell the word.

AlgebraKnocksItUpANotchBAM · 07/10/2010 21:03

lol sausage!

maybe my DD will get a skollership

Quattrocento · 07/10/2010 21:54

It's a wind up. Funny though

dmo · 07/10/2010 22:16

the poor child his father only earns 17k a year and is mum is a sahm on benifits Sad and his granddad is a millonaire on paper Hmm

2yrs ahead of peers [smiles] thats great for the lad maybe in privite school they wont fush his head down the loo too much Grin

GET A GRIP YOU WASTE OF SPACE PERSON AND GET A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

privite education and no job Shock and married to a pauper

NestaFiesta · 07/10/2010 22:47

OP- don't be such a bloody snob and stop blaming all your son's faults on the school. You're bringing him up, not them!

Its not up to you what your Dad does with his money. He's probably worked like a bugger for it. Why not ask him how?

saythatagain · 07/10/2010 22:53

Where is the op?