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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Drink So Much Wine??

153 replies

humanoctopus · 05/10/2010 22:57

I really enjoy having a drink of wine at the end of increasingly long days. Once I've go the kids homeworked, fed, bathed, storytime, etc., all asleep, dishwasher loaded, washing machine on, clothes/lunches for next day ready,quick tidy up, I have found that a glass of wine really helps me relax. Now it used to be just one glass, now its half a bottle. My bf reckons its the slippery slope. I feel slighted by this attitude. Or AIBU and should cut back?

OP posts:
PinkieMinx · 05/10/2010 23:00

Some will say you are binge drinking 3+ units in one night, others will say 'ooh, every night = bad'. Realistically it's empty calories, it would be better not to need a drink to relax and it's probably not great for health.

I drink like a fish so I say finish the bottle Smile

Bettiboo · 05/10/2010 23:04

I have a lovely glass of white on the go too.... it's a fabulous release at the end of a day of complete madness - let's face it, life is mad when you have children - I sometimes forget where I'm going when I'm driving to work in the morning! Have a glass of wine, or two but maybe mix it with some lemonade if you're worried about drinking too much. As long as things don't get out of hand then there's no harm to it at all. If you're concerned you 'need' a drink, then it probably needs a bit of reflection and exploring. i suspect you're just overloaded with 'things to do' that a glass wine provides a bit of light relief. You'll know when you need to start to worry and then I'm sure you'll manage it. It doesn't have to be a slippery slope.

beachyhead · 05/10/2010 23:06

I think that you should go with every other night!!! Spread the units through the week!
Then you don't feel so bad!

Original poster
humanoctopus · 05/10/2010 23:08

Thanks for the input pinkieminx. Now the seed has been planted, I am getting suspicious of myself!! I just find its the solution for me, in terms of relaxing at the end of the day. I am a really dreadful sleeper, but find that i drop off quite nicely after a couple of glasses! How do others unwind? My friend was miffed when i told her to bugger off with her opinions, maybe I am wrong ( I love this AIBU section!)

OP posts:
RageAgainstTheTeen · 05/10/2010 23:09

What do you think OP?

Original poster
humanoctopus · 05/10/2010 23:10

But what if I don't recognise when I should start to worry. I have never been too great with self criticism, and tend to plod along, hoping and believing that life will be ok??

OP posts:
SheWillBeLoved · 05/10/2010 23:11

If you need it, then cut back.

sunnydelight · 05/10/2010 23:12

I don't think you're unreasonable, but then again I know I drink more wine than I should (as do most of my closest girlfriends who all have kids).

bigchris · 05/10/2010 23:13

Just add up your units and if it's over the recommended limit then cut back
a small gls a night is fine
a bottle a night not so much

Original poster
humanoctopus · 05/10/2010 23:13

Rage: My current drinks would put me very much over the recommended limits, that bothers me, as I believe in the people who put these figures together, however, I never have hangovers and seem to function normally at work, etc., so I am just concerned that I may be missing my falling into alcoholism?? Any thoughts?

OP posts:
puffling · 05/10/2010 23:14

I've had half a bottle every night with dinner for 20 years. I never need more than that. It's not been a slippery slope. I asked a nurse about it recently. Whilst she said I ought to cut down a bit she SAID THAT IT'S BETTER TO DRINK MODERATELY EVERY NIGHT THAN TO SAVE UP YOUR UNITS FOR BINGE ON THE WEEKEND.

RageAgainstTheTeen · 05/10/2010 23:15

It's not about functioning,it's about craving and/or using alcohol to make life feel 'better' or less 'stressed'

Only you know that.

BecauseImWorthIt · 05/10/2010 23:18

My own experience would suggest that if you're not careful it's very easy to creep up so that suddenly it's a bottle rather than a half bottle a night.

And if you feel you need it, then it's more difficult to have nights when you go without.

I try not to drink from Monday to Thursday, but I often can't manage all four nights without. Blush

And half a bottle every night will take you over your recommended 14 units per week.

IMoveTheStars · 05/10/2010 23:19

I started off like this.. I'm half way down my second bottle (and still compos mentis enough to type 50wpm, get me Hmm)

Pack it in now, or you may well be on a bottle (or more) a night in a scarily short space of time. Personally I'm on 100+ units a week, and working on it (badly) but don't want anybody else to go the same way

Wine'o'clock is evil.. may I suggest saving it up for the weekend and having a particularly lovely bottle of Marlborough Sav Blanc on a fri eve. (got to be better than half a bottle a night!!)

Original poster
humanoctopus · 05/10/2010 23:20

I think I am very sensitive to comments about my life from this friend. Our lives are very different indeed, we have nothing in common, but have been close for more years than I care to think about. She rarely indulges in wine or any alcohol at all. But maybe she sees something in me that I should watch out for. I get the point that if i need it I should watch out, but why? I know of many who are medicated to deal with life, is wine so much worse, or just judged more harsely/freely?

OP posts:
SheWillBeLoved · 05/10/2010 23:23

Yes but people are medicated for more serious reasons than just needing to relax at the end of a busy day with the kids. If you need it for more than that, but only use that reason to take the shine off the real more serious reason, then I'd suggest getting help that doesn't come in a bottle.

RageAgainstTheTeen · 05/10/2010 23:24

I'm not far off of Jareth's consumption.

I can also function,it is a slippery slope and you'd be silly to let it carry on.

Nip it in the bud now and like jareth said,treat yourself occasionally and not every night.

If you can't do that,seek help.

maryz · 05/10/2010 23:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scanty · 05/10/2010 23:25

I've cut back, it was becoming more of a habit and I was gradually taking more and more till it could be 2 or 3 bottles a week. I don't want it to start take hold, it can be so easy done when sitting at home most nights. My friend just told me she is now an alcoholic and has passed on the wine and now downing bottles of vodka - it can easily be a slippery slope.

Original poster
humanoctopus · 05/10/2010 23:30

I did only drink wine on Friday and Saturday nights. It was a really special and enjoyable experience. But since the back to school pressure, relationship issues, and feeling and knowing that I have to keep the show on the road single handedly, the occasional glass has turned into a regular nightly event. And it feels good. Is that so wrong? Or is it impossible to live like this without addiction issues? I gave up jelly beans because a friend said that they would lead to overloading my system with sugar (different issue altogether, but just an insight into my suscepability to others opinions, right or wrong), I would just hate to give up something that seems to work for me right now, if there isn't any need to, if ye know what I mean???

OP posts:
RageAgainstTheTeen · 05/10/2010 23:31

Yes, I have a friend like that scanty,she stayed with me a few months back and I was utterly gobsmacked that she could drink a bottle of wine at lunch then finish off 'her' bottle of gin by 9pm.

Sadly, it made me feel better about my bottle of wine drunk after 8pm

I'm no different,I just don't drink in daylight.

SheWillBeLoved · 05/10/2010 23:32

You don't have to give it up, just cut back to a glass. If you can't do that, then I'd seriously consider cutting it out completely.

RageAgainstTheTeen · 05/10/2010 23:34

Human,really, only you can answer.

If you are truly happy with your consumption,would you have started a thread?

No-one can say 'oh yes,your drinking is fine,carry on'....

It's your decision.Happy? carry on

IMoveTheStars · 05/10/2010 23:37

I did only have a glass or one beer a night when DS was young. Since the (glorious) start of him finally sleeping well and reliably sleeping through I drank more and more.

I'm most of the way through two bottles of white wine at the moment.

I'm so used to it that I'll feel a bit shit in the morning, but will feel absolutely fine by lunchtime. Not as perky as without the booze but I need to FUCKING STOP or I'll be dead in 10years.

scanty · 05/10/2010 23:39

well rage, I've always been worried about having an addictive trait and booze would be my weapon of choice - never really been into drugs or smoking at all and can control my food intake but I definately am very aware about the amount I drink. If I ever hit a really bad patch, I could see it easily happening so trying to get it under control now.