To Drink So Much Wine??

[humanoctopus]

I really enjoy having a drink of wine at the end of increasingly long days. Once I've go the kids homeworked, fed, bathed, storytime, etc., all asleep, dishwasher loaded, washing machine on, clothes/lunches for next day ready,quick tidy up, I have found that a glass of wine really helps me relax. Now it used to be just one glass, now its half a bottle. My bf reckons its the slippery slope. I feel slighted by this attitude. Or AIBU and should cut back?

Cheers for the question, octopus: I didn't drink while I was going to daily meetings, though I've been to a couple since then. You don't have to have already stopped when you join - or nobody would!! You're not supposed to share if you're still on the booze. After a while it starts to feel like a good idea to 'qualify' iyswim.

The way they put it was that we we're all in a lift that only goes down. I was lucky to have got out at a high floor - compared to the others in rehab - and I'm bloody sure I'm not going any further down now! (Hope that made some kind of sense.)

Jareth, the hardest thing was finding other drinks I like! I can't stand sugary drinks and get bored very quickly with fizzy. I ended up making a concoction out of herbal/fruity teas, which I liked because it was fruity & tannic, to drink cold. In pubs I drank tap water. All the bar staff hated me.

I love sleepy time tea.

Scared of not being able to sleep if I don't drink (actually that;s a huge hurdle to overcome)

That sounds good jareth! Do let us know how you get on?

Grace- I think your point bout going tee total first is important. I think it is a minority of alcoholics who can manage it, my mum can to some degree in that she can eat food containing wine, we're French/Italian heritage and it's pretty integral to all dishes!!!
Some people can't do even the food thing- the taste alone causes terrible amounts of pressure.

It's worth saying though IMO that no one is better or worse than anyone else for being able to handle some or nothing at all.

Sorry x posted then jareth, have you tried any herbal sleeping tabs (without wine) to get off to sleep?

time for sleepytime tea.

[need to sober up a bit, starting to get hazy eyes]

This is most definitely problem drinking and you will be causing long term damage to your mind and body. Justbecause increasing numbers of women drink this much doesn't make it ok from a health point of view. Your dh is right. Stop drinking or reduce to the recommended levels, 2 bottles of wine a week. You are drinking double that.

Critical care units are full of women under 30 with liver failure, it is a health explosion. Most of these women will die. My friend manage a critical care unit, this is what she says.

Jareth, hope you feel ok this morning!

Look, to be blunt if you carry on knocking back two bottles of wine every night at some point soon your bosses/colleagues/gp WILL find out.

Have a look at the babes thread, they are all lovely and talk much sense.

Morning!

I feel great this morning, because I didn't drink last night or Monday night. It's really worth going without if you can, even if it's just one evening.

We never drink on Monday - it has become a habit. And once something is a habit, you don't even think about it.

Interestingly, I always find it more difficult to get to sleep on a Monday, but the next evening I sleep really well. Quality of sleep without alcohol, once it's out of your system, is much better.

On a non-wine evening I drink Slimline tonic, bitter lemon or ginger ale. They share the same, bitter characteristic of alcohol and don't get too sickly sweet, whcih is the problem with most soft drinks. Sometimes I drink sparkling water, although the lack of taste is sometimes an issue.

Above all, by not drinking 1/2-1 bottle of wine, I know I've cut out 400-800 calories, which is a lot on a daily basis. I know that one of the reasons I have never managed to get to my target weight is not because the food I eat/don't eat, but because of the alcohol I consume.

And this is a double whammy. Alcohol is the first source of fuel that your body will use, so even if your diet is low carb/low fab/low calorie, your body won't burn any of the fuel from your food, it will go for the alcohol. And then there are all the calories in alcohol and the carbs in wine ...

My own advice, if it's worth anything, is not to make it seem an unachievable task. Don't say "that's it, I'm never drinking again", because in two days' time, you'll be opening a bottle. Try one night without drinking, and be strict about what you're drinking on the other nights. Then increase it to two nights a week.

Personally, if there's a bottle open, it's very difficult - once half way down it - to put it back in the fridge. So I know I'm better off not opening the bottle if I can.

And finally (sorry for the long lecture essay), I find that once past the 'wine witching hours' of 6.00 - 8.00, I honestly don't need/want wine. So it's only a two hour period to get through.

I hope that helps in some small way. But also know that you're not alone - there are many of us struggling with the demon alcohol - some of us more successfully than others!

Actually, I meant to say 'some of us less successfully than others, but hopefully you get my drift!

Am not sure it's just the amount that makes someone have a 'problem.' Only you can decide that. Some people find they are drinking out of habit, and some may have more of a dependancy.

Find out. Try replacing wine with something else that you like. I quite like Pelligrino when I'm feeling flash. Must be the salt content . Try a goal such as stopping for a month. You may need help, but there is really no shame in asking for it.

Jareth - I was worried about drinking because I slept so badly. Funnily enough I've found that after the initial 2-3 nights I sleep so much better. I do still have sleepy-time tea before bed though. If I drink at the weekend I have a tough time sleeping Sun/Mon night.

Do take a look on the brave babes thread - I've been reading it and taking encouragement from it since it started, and have never posted (I chose to deal with this privately - and for me it's worked)

am newbie here after many months or lurking I just have to join in. Your threads are SO interesting :-)
This one has struck a chord as excess wine drinking is something i am battling - can relate to Jareth as I down pretty much a bottle a night. I find it hard to switch my brain off and sleep on (rare) alcohol free nights but I know it is slowly killing me and i can't afford it!! It IS a slippery slope,but it helps that so many other people out there are having the same problem.
BTW - LOVED the Blow Job thread!!!

Morning - this is the thread I was talking about last night here

Humanoctopus (how I envy your many arms!!)

Alcohol will help you go to sleep, but it's also why you wake at about 3 or 4 am. It's one of the worst things you can do to get a good nights sleep. So, then you are tired, when you are tired you feel more like 'rewarding' yourself at the end of the day and less able to resist temptation, it's a merry-go-round (the one with horses too - round & round - up & down).

Jareth - why not phone about the 1:1 today, just because you make an appointment, doesn't mean you have to stop drinking.

I think some people can manage their alcohol and some people can't. I think that depends on if it's a chemical issue or just a dependancy issue. However, what is clearm is that you have to be able to give it up, before you can manage it.

The other thing to take note of is that alcohol is a depressant, so if you're feeling down, although you may experience a temporary 'feeling better', it will actually make your depression worse. DH has occasional bouts of depression, and it's always noticeable that his drinking increases significantly during these times - it then becomes a vicious circle.

Chinghehuang- what's wrong with you? There really is a time and a place, you should read th whole thread before thundering in. It was so sad last night on here and people were speaking very frankly and bravely, people don't need to know about bullshit offers on booze when they're trying to get some help/support.

Breathe!

Morning Humanoctopuss and jareth, hope you're both ok xxx

Thanks Maryz - you beat me to it re the link to the thread.

I just wanted to say that The Brave Babes are there to support EVERYONE!! Regardless of where you are up to in terms of your sobriety.

Or indeed not. No judging, no 'told you so's' Just support. And support your way.

We are all at different stages so there is bound to be someone on the thread that you can 'buddy' with if you want to.

Have a look and come say hi if you fancy.

morning everyone!, maryz has just directed us here - well, where to start?

i am jesuswhatnext and i am an alcoholic, 4 months ago thats all i was, i had kidded myself that i was functioning, running my home, my job, taking care of my appearance and most all i kidded myself that me, my dh and my dd were happy - well, that all turned out to be a right crock of shit!

i was drinking easily about 120 units a week - this figure has escalated over the years from a glass of wine in the evening about 20 years ago to huge amounts every day, every lunch time, every evening and as often in between as i could manage - to the outside world i am a succesful woman, good job, lovely home, lovely family - inside myself i was a wreak!, overweight, puffy faced, spotty and so utterly miserable!! - one night i had what i can only descirbe as a rock-bottom moment, i cant remember most of it, but it ended with my dh walking out all night and my dd (who is 18) going to my sil in a desperate state - my dh layed it on the line, 'give up or get out', i dont blame him!

so, long story short (i hope! ), i had a choice - drink and lose everything or 'try' and give up!

so, im now 4 months sober and i cannot describe how life has changed in those 4 short months!!

EVERYTHING IS BETTER!!

from the deep emotional stuff to the shallow apperance stuff - i feel better, i look better, my dh is laughing again (i hadnt noticed that he hardly ever laughed when i was drinking ) my dd is behaving like a proper teenager again , my depression is lifting daily, i am in control of my own destiny again - my life is not dictated by the liquid in a bottle, i have a peace in my head that is priceless, all because i have decided that

TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING!

in the scheme of things i am in VERY early sobriety, but my god, if it goes on like this i am more than happy to never pick up a drink again - it helps nothing, improves nothing and could cost you your health, wealth and happiness and to be brutallly honest, reading last nights posts on this thread i cannot see one advantage to picking up a drink.

The thing that terries me is the link between alcohol consumption in women and breast cancer.

regularly drinking 6 units a night or more (as you do OP) will treble your chances of getting breast cancer.

Jesus, remember following your thread all those months ago. So impressed and happy for you that you are still sober and life for all your family is so much better! Yeah!

Jesuswhatnext- well done! I have to say you sound alot like my mum (who i posted about earlier in this thread) and she's been sober 7 years now.
I forgot to mention about how her looks changed too, she went really puffy and red faced and her hair thinned quite dramatically too, now she looks amazing. She's coming up to fifty but looks forty (my MIL couldn't believe it) and is also much better turned out.
Good luck for the future xx

hedge - your posts have hit me hard!, i have put my dd through hell, i can only hope that one day she will be able to forgive me, i can totally understand about not giving your 'all' back to your dm 'just in case'!, its just so very sad!

Hi all. Predictably I feel totally rubbish today but have decided not to drink this evening (hopefully I'll stick to it)

I've just looked up the Radio 1 alcohol calorie calculator which may help! The amount I drank last night was about 1300 calories!!

Nancy - I'd forgotten about the breast cancer link.. thank you for the reminder.

and thank you all for your support last night. Not sure if you've seen it but I've started my own thread in general health so I can stop stomping all over this one :)