To Drink So Much Wine??

[humanoctopus]

I really enjoy having a drink of wine at the end of increasingly long days. Once I've go the kids homeworked, fed, bathed, storytime, etc., all asleep, dishwasher loaded, washing machine on, clothes/lunches for next day ready,quick tidy up, I have found that a glass of wine really helps me relax. Now it used to be just one glass, now its half a bottle. My bf reckons its the slippery slope. I feel slighted by this attitude. Or AIBU and should cut back?

I feel confused. I have so wanted to start this conversation with either my husband or friends, but most people tell me that I cope so well with my 'lot', that I don't feel that I can express how much pressure I feel under, all the time. I am slightly concerned, hence this thread, but also not sure if I have a problem with alcohol, if ye know what I mean.

Why do you feel you have to keep "the show on the road singlehandedly.."? Does your Dh not help out with stuff at home? Does he have any opinion on what you are drinking?

Nikita: He does not help out, very old fashioned (or lazy/blinkered) and opts out of the real work of raising children. I handle everything, ie., bills management, household, school, medical appointments. And so much more, it makes my heart bleed! But what can I do?

humanoctopus - I know exactly what you you mean. I understand win'o'clock entirely. the 12 hour day of constant needs/wants/demands and then when they're finally in bed to be able to sit down and have a glass of wine as a MASSIVE REWARD is difficult to NOT do.

I'm sorry if I'm projecting my own problems on to you. I have on DS who is almost 3 and at the moment the constant questions/why, why, why and hell that is potty training is driving me to booze... but there's always something. :(

I'm at the edge (literally) of the slipperiest of slopes. I don't want you to join me.

Humanoctopus - I see, well that must be hard. I know what it's like with a young family, have 5 under 10 myself, and I have a large glass of white every night at 9pm-ish, just the one though, and I wont let myself have any more than that as I would be afraid of the health issues of overindulging in the booze, plus I need a clear head for the crazy mornings in our house!

Jareth: If I thought I would stay at my 'oh so happy' level, then fuckit, who should care? The whole house is asleep, the day lined up perfectly for everyone (even my suit hanging up, at the ready). What harm?

Yeah, I'm happy as a pig in shit at the moment. I LOVE wine. I'd drink it til the cows come home.

The problem is your tolerance. One week you will be happy with 3 glasses of wine. The next it'll be a bottle.

Evil, that alcohol...

btw, I've finished my two bottles. The fact that I can still type properly is surely a bit worrying??

[looks for more booze]

Jareth, I don't think that you are projecting your problems on to me, I really appreciate that you would take time to offer insight into my coping strategies.

I really shouldn't be going into this on a public forum (typing is getting tricky now)

Can I PM you?

I just don't want to 'have ' to have a drink every night - even if just a small glass or two. Aiming to get it down to at least one bottle over the weekend unless a special occasion. Also need to stop greedily binge drinking when I do rarely go out with the girls or whatever. Want to stop getting drunk, sometimes forgetting things, and having a hangover. Guess at my age, with young children - I want to be in control, I can't really see any excuse for it though I still do it.

Jareth ; PM good, I think??

Jareth, you've been really honest. I can only imagine how difficult it will be for you to get this under control. Hope you get the strength and determination to do it soon. I'm really worried about my friend. She's depressed, perhaps had a nervous breakdown at the weekend and needs to go and get help with her depression but doesn't know if they will give her anything to take because of the drinking and if that will cause complications. I'm the only one she's told about the drinking.

There is always an excuse from my end. What perplexes me is that it didn't always seem like this. I am relatively new to the regular wine world. I can remember sharing a bottle of wine and possibly us two not being able to finish a bottle. My current ongoing concern is how life can change and how drinking can make me feel a bit better? A big thanks to everyone who replied.

I think it is a slippery slope, my mum started on one glass when I was small and by 10 it was a bottle a day, by 16 she was hiding bottles, 17 she drove drunk with two small children in the car, 18 she got so drunk she passed out in a car park and went missing for 36 hours, leaving two small children. Two days after that my dad drove her to the priory and abandoned her there.
She has been sober for around 7 years now and is the mum I remember from when I was tiny.
She was never a terrible mum, and held down high paying fulltime jobs but she lost it eventually.
She got pissed and donated my bedroom furniture to womens aid after I didn't come home when she wanted me to once. She blamed my sister for the wine bottle hidden allover the house.
I'm not sure if I'll ever feel close to her like I've always wanted to, because I'm terrified she'll let everyone down again (I lost out on college qualifications as I cared for my siblings when she was in rehab)
I think if she slips again I'll have to leave her because I couldn't go through that again.
I don't drink because I do have a similar personality to her, I'm a creature of habit (smoker) so I know I'm at risk so to speak of being sucked in.

Sorry for the hijack-I don't mean in that way I just thought it would give some perspective.

waa.. this thread has now resulted me=in tears, wallowing and self-hate.

Hugs jareth

Pm me if you should feel the need x

I'm off to bed (sort of soberish after a bottle)

DP just came down and opened the fridge. All I could think was that he hid the last beer from me.

sorry you're feeling bad Jareth. You are aware of what is going on and at least being honest to yourself so maybe that's a step toward doing something about it - hope so.

tears stinging my cheeks.

aware. All so easy to say 'I won't drink tomorrow' when you're pissed/hungover.

:(

and thanks all, and sorry for wrecking your post OP x :(

humanoctopus - it's a 'reward' right, for getitng through all the crap stuff, getting ready for the next day, coping with it all pretty much single handedly - what about changing the 'reward' for a while and seeing how you feel?

I like a glass (or six) of an evening, but it doesn't bother me not to have it. A few weeks ago I was drinking every night (only a glass or two, but large glasses), but then decided to cut down on 'calories in' and cut out the wine and then ended up at non-drinking friends for a couple of weekends etc. Tonight I am home and fancied a glass so I had one, but the thing is I can take it or leave it... and that's pretty much my measure of if it's 'OK' or not.

Jareth :(

Maybe it's time to go to the Drs and get some help?

Have you considered going to AA?

Hey Jareth, you didn#'t wreck the thread. You added a very welcome air of reality and grounded my wining (as in wine - ing). You sound so sad, I so hope you are ok? I have friends who came out of the dark side of alcohol, after years of abuse. Keep up the contact. Hedgeblunder's post gave me similar feelings, and a huge thanks to her/him for sharing. Fuckit. I am wide awake. And I've finished the bottle that I was determined to just have 2 glasses out of.

I daren't go to the GP - I can't risk a SS involvement (need ISNT here for backup)

I won't do AA - not for me. I need to find ti within myself. If I rely on someone else I'll just slip later on.

I'm so sad :(