To Drink So Much Wine??

[humanoctopus]

I really enjoy having a drink of wine at the end of increasingly long days. Once I've go the kids homeworked, fed, bathed, storytime, etc., all asleep, dishwasher loaded, washing machine on, clothes/lunches for next day ready,quick tidy up, I have found that a glass of wine really helps me relax. Now it used to be just one glass, now its half a bottle. My bf reckons its the slippery slope. I feel slighted by this attitude. Or AIBU and should cut back?

I used to be a take it or leave it person in terms of drinking with supper - but now I work and have DD (16 mths) and am more tired/stressed, I notice that if we have run out of wine and I can't have my glass, I really miss it and will actually make the effort to go out to the garage and get more!

It's only one glass a night at the mo but I have just started to impose a one day on and one day off regime, becuase I definitely have developed a bit of a thing for it and I am scared that it could mushroom into half a bottle and then a whole one.

I think you need to ask yourself how you feel if the wine isn't there - can you take it or leave it? If you feel you need it, I think you need to cut back. Half a bottle EVERY night does sound like a fair amount to me.

Jareth that's shocking! Had no idea there was that much at all! Good luck for tonight, jump on here if you need to

Jesus-sorry I didn't mean to make you feel bad at all about that, I hope it didn't come off that way. I'm sure your daughter will be absolutely fine, if I could make a suggestion it would be to make sure she has fun with you, like little trips to the cinema or a sneaky take away etc. I think I really needed that but because of the younger two there wasn't the time iyswim?
I do get on very well with my mum, we text nearly everyday etc.
I think me holding off her mentally speaking is a sort of over protectiveness of my siblings in case they need me again if you get me?

I reckon calorie content should be printed on all packaging for alcohol.

I found I was getting into this habit and what helped us was having a no drinking in the week rule. We crack open the wine on Friday/Sat/Sunday and have a glass or two with dinner on those nights. Week nights tho we dont drink at home - but would do if we had the odd week night out. Feel much healthier and dont have that mild hung over feeling in the week. Plus the calouries and I really look forward to Fridays! As we drink less we treat ourselves to posher wine.

I find a glass of chilled tonic water with lemon in and mumsnetting is a good relaxer in the week (obv not as good as wine but there you go!).

"I know there are AA meetings near me. I WON'T go though. Hate the very thought, so americanised."

No, they're not.

As you would know if you attended one to see what it's like.

"I'm so used to it that I'll feel a bit shit in the morning, but will feel absolutely fine by lunchtime. Not as perky as without the booze but I need to FUCKING STOP or I'll be dead in 10years."

On 100 units a week I think you are being unduly optimistic about how long you have left.

Hi all, just found your thread and am hoping you are all getting on ok today.

I don't tend to drink now as I take a lot of meds for two chronic health conditions. When i did though, it was half a bottle of vodka in a night, or a bottle and a half of wine. I still felt ok after it too But, I only did this once a fortnight or so. Classic binge drinker. The idea of a glass of wine in the evening with dinner terrified me, I thought it would just put me to sleep, I honestly couldn't see the point in one glass if I wasn't going to keep drinking. I guess I was drinking to get drunk.

So I am almost relieved to be so ill, at least the drinking is done. I don't miss it atall. I thought I would, but now I love good sleep, I indulge myself with 500thread count cotton bedding, scented candles and great books at bedtime.

My friend is an alcoholic, she finally admitted it to herself when she drove her son and his friend home pissed. The child's mother confronted her and she hit rock bottom. Rightly so. She started off with a 'drink' of wine, the word drink strikes me as odd. Like it was medicine. Surely a glass? Pressure at work and two noisy kids, she relied on it. She put on weight, fell out with friends, lost her job, lost her licence, and still it was everyone else's fault. Then she went into heart failure and almost died. She still is not out of the woods.

So, something, amazingly, good came out of the drink driving episode. She is sober and says she loves her life, even with the heart condition. She doesn't need a drink because she doesn't get stressed, she has more patience for the kids, she is not running from her life anymore because her life is good.

I wish you all lots of luck on your journey.x

have to echo MIFLAW here, i go to AA, it is in no way 'americanised'!, if it was, you wouldnt find me there!! ok ya'll

hedge, you didnt make me feel bad, just gave me a very good reminder of ONE of the main reasons i need to stay sober!, my dd is soooo worth the effort!

I hope Jareth is ok

I was worried about her, reading her contributions to this thread

Jareth...how are you ?

I think she's having an evening off the wine anyfucker so she might feel a bit weird Reading this incase it upsets her etc?

hmm, tbh hedge, i think she ought to read her previous posts sober - might be just the thing to help start anew!

btw, i would just like to add for anyone coming back here this evening - i have come to the conclusion that if you are worried about the amount you drink then you are proberbly drinking too much - to give up altogether can seem like an impossible goal, honestly, it isnt!, just a day at a time or even an hour at a time, for each hour you dont drink you have another hour of your life back - to anyone wavering, why not give AA a try - ime, its not just full of dirty old tramps, its full of very nice, middle class women who are in need of help and support and are looking forward to a new way of life - in fact, very like the nice women who posted on here last night!

I'm OK, thanks all :)

Bought some nice non-alcoholic drinks and there isn't opportunity to buy booze now (almost DS's bedtime and DP won't be home until 8pm, so I'll be past the witching hour)

MIFLAW - that thing you said about me being optimistic about 10 years has terrified me (obviously) I have no idea if it's true but I'd never considered that I might be doing that much damage to myself. :(

didn't mean to offend about the AA meetings comment. I meant the group aspect of it, but wasn't explaining myself (I was hammered, after all). it's the group aspect/going to meetings part I find difficult. Personally I know I do well with one-on-one couselling and have found it invaluable in the past. I may consider AA in the future but I don't think it's right for me at the moment.. I know I jsut wouldn't go to the meetings.

jesus, I have read them. :)

I try to have one wine-free evening a week, does that mean I'm not alcohol dependant?
[hopeful emoticon]

jareth - why not come and join us on teh bus? (i cant do a link!, im old and inept! )

Thanks, I might do :) I find those big threads hard to keep up with sometimes but will take a look

jareth - i often look at teh first thread, oh my god, i was in a desperate place, i have an inkling of how you are feeling right now - i promise it can get better, a day at a time!

jareth - you dont have to keep up, just post as when you feel the need, some of us have been there since the start, some only since yesterday, it dosnet matter - the only thing that matters is encouraging sobriety and trying to support the 'wobbles', so far, we are doing pretty well between us!

btw, its not all doom and gloom, we do chat about other stuff aswell!

Jareth

FWIW, prior to my attending AA, you would not have got me into an AA room with a rope and a pointy stick. I loathed most people, especially strangers, especially non-drinkers, especially people who didn't hide their true feelings and especially happy people and AA sounded like it was full of the lot of them - in other words, a freak show. Then I was forced to consider going (because I was a piss artist, and because even the local alcohol management service said, "try AA" when I phoned them up) and at that point I found out you went regularly and they often took place in church halls. I said not a word, but my heart was crying out, "fuck THAT!"

Then I actually went to one. I was even more put off by the use of the word "God" which I assumed meant I would have to go to church (in fact I was, and remain, an agnostic - it has never been a problem) and by the honesty of people. Women - WOMEN, mind! - admitting to pissing the bed, and laughing about it! Men - MEN! - talking openly about their feelings.

It was a huge relief to learn that they had not been waiting impatiently since 1935 for my arrival and I would not be required to say anything unless and until I was ready.

8 years on (7 of them without an alcoholic drink of any description) I still go regularly, still enjoy going, still don't need to drink - and am still an agnostic.

Oh, and my life is now better in every single respect, to the extent that I would not swap the worst of my days now for the best of my days as a drinker.

So, while agreeing that you are free to make the choice, I would question how much you really do "know" about what it will be like and how you will feel until you actually go to one or two and find out. If it was a new bar, you'd go and take a look, wouldn't you? And I guess you'd judge it more on the people than on the flock wallpaper. Maybe treat AA the same.

Unless you have a better idea?

Incidentally, I have no more idea than you how long you will last on 100 units a week - but, as the 10 years figure is clearly plucked out of thin air, I wouldn't set too much store by it. Could be 20, could be 2.

But you also want to ask yourself how much you are going to ENJOY those 10 (or 20, or 2) years if you carry on like this. I'm guessing, not a lot.

Sauvignon, no, it means fuck all either way - though the fact that you need to "try" to have one evening off a week surely can't be a wholly positive thing ...

this thread is a big wake up call for me, that calorie counter thing is truly scary and explains the big boobs and rolls of fat.
having only one glass tonight (rather than replacing the bottle with another one)and will try and go cold turkey tomorrow night.
this is so hard

I guess I'm kidding myself!

Only you know that.

But FWIW quantity is purely a health issue - the real problem is one's attitude to drink and how bothered you are at the thought of going without, without warning, on an occasion when you had assumed you would be able to "enjoy" a drink?

Same test applies whether you drink daily or once in a while.

That and the Pringles test - once you've popped, CAN you stop?

Fuck, I've just opened a bottle of Sauvignon!

this thread has stopped me from opening a bottle this evening

I was feeling a bit urrggh and a bit blaahh and was going to cheer myself up with a couple of glasses

But I shall not, now

I don't drink any alcohol Mon-Thurs but it's kinda an effort not to, IYSWIM