Not Really AIBU but amusing twist on old favourite: Disabled/Baby Change Loos

[QueenSconetta]

I know its quite a regular topic here, and I myself have moaned complained whined discussed parents using a disabled toilets with their children.

The other day I was a supermarket in a different town and was quite amused to see all the old ladies going into the baby change room cos it was big enough to fit their trollies in! I did wonder how they got on with using the mini toilet though

One can never win this one me thinks.

To be honest though, with older people using disabled loos I would be more charitable than you are so YABU.

This is why all the rooms should just be renamed accessible facilities and left to the use of whoever feels they need them. In many places the disabled loo has the baby change as well. It's just daft for a mum or dad using that facility to then queue again for another loo for themselves and leave a small child alone outside the cubicle. Also many people don't consider themselves 'disabled' and so won't use the loo although they would benefit from the easier access and handles etc.

I was waiting at a wheelchair friendly toilet with my mum (who is in a wheelchair) when a young girl came out clearly not in a wheelchair or having any other disability, I JUST SAID AT THE TOP OF MY VOICE, SHE WALKS, PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

she whent bright red

I quite often use the disabled loo when out with dds, so I can take dd2 in in the pushchair, also the sink is usally at a hight where dd1 can reach . I realy dont see the harm, I'm only in there a cuple of minuets and I'm not going to push in front a a disabled person waiting to us it am I.

runaway- what an awful thing to do, unless you know her full medical history- how do you know she doesn't have some kind of incontinence problem that means she needs the nappy bin? Or maybe she had to administer drugs to herself and needed more space than in a cubicle? Perhaps she is terribly claustrophobic?

You are not the disability police. If you really were determined to say something, a quiet word would have been much better.

What a knob you must have seemed, RunawayWife. I bet she was blushing with embarrasment for you.

Runaway - I have a friend who could have been that girl - who had a colostomy bag from the age of 19. Nothing wrong with her that you can see. She would have gone bright red at your comment, despite having every reason to use the disabled loo. Because it was designed to embarrass, wasn't it?

I totally agree with PP, accessible areas is the way to go.

It is not just loos though. Acsses ramps, low acsses buss make life easier for those out and about with small children. I realise these are often there due to the had campaining of diabled people. Maybe we sould be tring to work together more on these issues.

RW that is awful.
Lol at the OP - I bet you instantly thought of MN :o

RunawayWife - I look healthy and am able to walk unaided, but I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, which is aggravated by the antidepressants I am on.

I get sudden bouts of awful diarrhoea that strike with little warning - usually enough for me to get to the loos in time. However, if the urgency was really strong, I wouldn't be able to queue, so might, in that emergency, use the disabled loo - as the other option would be standing there with liquid poo running down my legs!!

I too would be horribly embarrassed if I had to use the disabled loos for this reason, and someone made a nasty comment when I came out - but being older, I would have the cojones to tell them why I needed to use it, and how nasty and judgemental they were being.

I suspect you decided to have a go at this teenager because she was young, and you thought you'd get away with it - which is particularly nasty, imo.

In Gloucester Cathedral you have to go down a steep flight of stairs to get the key to the Disabled toilet. I would have complained but I couldn't my pushchair down the stairs.

I often use the disabled toilet as I am usually alone with one 4 yr old and one 9month old. Normal toilets don't have room for manouevre or they involve me not being able to see the DCs. I would never push in front of a disabled person so I don't see the harm in non disabled people using them if they are empty and there is no queue. I would always let a disabled person go in front of me in fact. Indeed as stated earlier- not all disabilities are visible. Common sense and consideration is called for.

People should not be ostracised for using disabled facilities- you do not always know their circumstances.

You don't have to be in wheelchair to be disabled.

I was in a restaurant the other day - 38 weeks pregnant with 2 year old in tow. Headed towards the toilets that were up a steep flight of stairs, passing the disabled toilet with a rueful smile, when a member of staff stopped me and told me to use the disabled toilet as it was for people with small children or pregnant as well. They clearly had an 'accessible toilet' policy, but the signs were just the usual wheelchair ones, I guess because nobody has invented a symbol to cover all accessibility needs! There are plenty of people other than registered disabled who wouldn't have been able to manage the stairs, e.g. Elderly.

I'm with northernlurker on this I think

Oh dear... RunawayWife fell into the classic trap. That is however part of the problem with labelling accessible facilities as Disabled Toilet. The word Disabled is interrupted by some as meaning unable to walk... which is not what it means.

A toilet is a toilet and when you've got to go you've got to go!

Some are big enough to get wheelchairs or buggies into, some are not. Personally I don't understand why some people get so snippy about the whole thing. I on occasion use the disabled toilet if it's available as I have two small children and there often just isn't room to manhandle all three of us into a standard size cubicle. Also the argument that some people with disabilities find it harder to wait just doesn't hold water for me, my 3 year old gives me about 10 seconds warning and will wet herself if I don't get her on the toilet in time. How is that different?

Pardon the pun btw!

i don't see the problems with anyone using a disabled toilet as long as you let the disabled go first.
sorry I am bad as I did lol at RunawayWife's comment, but maybe that is cos I am so used to the non disabled wanting to use every thing the disabled community have fought for.

pjmama cos she is 3 and my dd is 15!! slight difference

I'm disabled, but to look at me you'd never know unless I said something. But it's still classed as a disability.

2shoes - why? Why is it okay for my children to wet themselves but not yours?

I hate all this disabled toilet lark.

I was at an open air museum with my DC on Saturday. I took DS2 (5) to the disabled toilets, and when we came out I got a mouthful off a man in a wheelchair for using it when we were "clearly not disabled". So he got a mouthful back off me as my DS2 has autism and can't cope with the noise from hand driers in normal toilets, especially when the toiets are busy. Bloke was apologetic, which I was just as polite afterwards.

A lot of disabilities are hidden, so unless you've got super human powers and can tell just on sight if someone is disabled or not, don't judge those who use them.

Yes there are those who think they have every right to use them just because they don't fancy waiting, and those people are, IMO, ignorant of disabled people.

pjmama presumably it would be a lot less humiliating and disruptive for a just trained toddler to wet themselves than a 15yo.

My DD gets very distressed if she has an accident, so I'm afraid I don't agree - there shouldn't be an age limit on dignity.

dd is a teenager not a child

Ok. I know I shouldn't but I am going to.

I do not understand when posters write that they sue the disabled toilet because they cannot get their pram / 2 DC into a normal cubicle.

When my dc were still in the pram I would leave the pram outside the cubicle and nip in quickly. When they were old enough to stand then I took them in with me.

There are no pedophiles lurking in the ladies loos waiting to steal your dc. (assuming that is why you don't want to leave them for a minute)