Not Really AIBU but amusing twist on old favourite: Disabled/Baby Change Loos

[QueenSconetta]

I know its quite a regular topic here, and I myself have moaned complained whined discussed parents using a disabled toilets with their children.

The other day I was a supermarket in a different town and was quite amused to see all the old ladies going into the baby change room cos it was big enough to fit their trollies in! I did wonder how they got on with using the mini toilet though

One can never win this one me thinks.

VinegarTits well mine certainly did! i know all about toddlers with bowel/bladder issues id be the last person to judge, honesty!!. We were talking about normal toddler accidents that are short lived, not long term conditions.

exactly wcgrime. Maybe we should never use any public toilets in case someone else needs them? It just gets ridiculous.

If I am waiting to use a disabled toilet and anyone queues behind me , I ask if they would like to go before me. It doesn't matter if they are in a wheelchair, I just ask if they would like to go first.

I am not disabled but I would please like to use an empty toilet to supervise my 2 DCs whilst I pee for 5 minutes. I am not going to apologise for that. I am not a public nuisance, and I am not exactly pushing a disabled person out of the way so my DCS and I can have a long picnic in there. I am courteous, I look around, and I offer my place in the queue if I am before someone.

I used the non disabled cubicles last week and I took up loads of room with the pushchair and held the queue up. I didn't mean to, (small toilets and only a Mclaren stroller, so not a Land Rover) but I probably inconvenienced more people there than I have ever done using quiet deserted disabled toilets.

TBH this issue would probably be a no issue if only people who had a decent reason to go in them used them. But the 'I have no reason but why the fuck should I have to wait' brigade tend to create division.

i dont see the issue in a normal toddler, who could not wait in the queue as they would wet or shit themsleves by the time the queue went down, using the disabled loo if it is empty

wcgrime
You are extremely obnoxious. "now someone is going to say 'have my toilet, have my disability'" Jesus. Thanks for your wonderful understanding and empathy for the people who struggle with disability.

Nesta
Of course two people with bowel problems could come along at the same time, which would be extremely unfortunate.

Do you not see the difference between having to struggle a bit and it be an inconvenience while using a normal toilet, and a family with a child with SN having to go home early from their trip because the child has soiled itself?

Starlight
the people ahead of you in the queue were knobs and should have let your DD go ahead of them.

I don't have any more points to make- are you annoyed I ruined your next line Pagwatch? It's just from previous experience I realize you can't discuss with parents of disabled children. At some point they always turn to the guilt factor.

This has grown arms and legs rather, I only meant to raise a rye smile at the reversal of the norm.

And yes I did think of MN as soon as I saw it, x.

i think its unfair that any child, disabled or not, should have to cut a day trip short because they have soiled themselves

Starlight i agree those in the queue were twats, if i am queing and i see a child looking desperate i always let them go first

I've never seen a queue for the toilets where the disabled loo was being left unused, unless the disabled toilet required a key.

Exactly, Starlight.

DD once weed in her pants when we were in town, DH nipped to H&M and bought a new pair of trousers and some pants and we set off again. It is not the end of the world.

For an adult with bowel problems it would have been more distressing. Don't try to tell me that it would not, no matter how distressed a 3yo gets, at the very latest it would be forgotten about in a day or two.

And, by the way, at taking your trolley into the toilet

(or is that just me?)

So you would let your dd wet her knickers while rather than use the empty disabled loo?

so it was the better option than just saying 'actually I am talking shit and will just have to try to be rude'

I admire your honesty - you do at least admit that you have no points to make.

Never used the line you mention. it wouldn't make much sense to me tbh.

Perhaps your difficulty in discussing with parents of children with SN has more to do with your ability to debate ratherthan their intransigence.

I have already said I don't really mind if people use when there is a huge queue. I was just responding to your inability to get to grips with the difference between inconvenience and genuine need

How often do people have to queue when they are out and about anyway? Outside of events, I can't remember ever having to queue recently. FINDING a toilet, now that's a different question...

are you replying to me Pag? i cant tell

WCGrime
No, I would ask if she could skip the queue in the ladies, or send her into the Gents with her dad.

I feel I have to post, even though I probably rightly deserve to be abused for my previous attitude.

I have taken ds into the disabled toilets when it is easier (when he was in the pushchair etc) I used to think, well, we'll only be a minute, and how many disabled people are there really?

I now, having read this, and having thought about it, realise that actually, there are LOTS of reasons why people might NEED the disabled toilets, when we could, realistically queue a little (ds is 3 now and can queue within reason for the toilet)

I will NOT take him in the disabled toilets for convenience again.

(I have, however, never shouted at anyone, however able they LOOK coming out of a disabled toilet - even I could work out that you never really know why someone might need them)

Manchester Arndale has v. good provision with it's new loos - both family toilets and big cubicles in the main ladies that you could get kids/buggies in if need be....we should lobby for better general family provision.

Total Chaos - YEP! I noticed that brighton Vhurchill Sq has cubicles in the main ladies that are larger and are labelled with a picture of a buggy on the door - this seems IDEAL?