Not Really AIBU but amusing twist on old favourite: Disabled/Baby Change Loos

[QueenSconetta]

I know its quite a regular topic here, and I myself have moaned complained whined discussed parents using a disabled toilets with their children.

The other day I was a supermarket in a different town and was quite amused to see all the old ladies going into the baby change room cos it was big enough to fit their trollies in! I did wonder how they got on with using the mini toilet though

One can never win this one me thinks.

I'm with NorthernLurker on the renaming. That way no one has a sense of entitlement over a public loo.

In some places there is only one big toilet for everyone. Just get in, get on with it and get out.

"one big toilet for everyone"

I just think it's ridiculous to expect someone to allow their child to wet or soil themselves when there's a toilet available, just in case somebody with a disability might need to use it in the next 3 minutes.

Of course accessible facilities should be left clear for those who need them wherever possible, but I think a bit of common sense and tolerance is required sometimes.

pjmama Mon 06-Sep-10 09:45:39
A toilet is a toilet and when you've got to go you've got to go!

Some are big enough to get wheelchairs or buggies into, some are not. Personally I don't understand why some people get so snippy about the whole thing. I on occasion use the disabled toilet if it's available as I have two small children and there often just isn't room to manhandle all three of us into a standard size cubicle. Also the argument that some people with disabilities find it harder to wait just doesn't hold water for me, my 3 year old gives me about 10 seconds warning and will wet herself if I don't get her on the toilet in time. How is that different?

I was replying to this post.
you were the one who compared your dd a disabled person not me.

Pjama
The problem is that if everyone thinks that way, then the disabled toilets are going to be constantly in use. If you come out of the loo and there is still a queue and another toddler needs desperately.

I would rather ask those in the queue if they would mind letting DD go first, and have done this on occasion.

Was tapped on the shoulder by an elderly lady when I came out of the disabled loos with ds who said, "They're the disabled toilets, you know."

I said perfectly politely, as it wasn't signed on the door, just in the corridor, that it was also the baby change facilities. And she said "Oh...but you still shouldn't use them."

Agree with Northern about the signage.

Disabled toilets are provided for the use, rightly so, of wheelchair users as they obviously can't access the regular toilets.

However, it doesn't give them the exclusive right to them.

They are also more convenient for parents with small children and/ or pushchairs.

Why can't wheelchair users share?

If the toilets are available (as they often are as the number of wheelchair users is relatively small) and there is a long que at the ladies then I don't see why it is unacceptable to use them.

Who decided being disabled gives you the right to never que? They have the right to the provision of a suitable toilet, but not the right to go first.

I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.

Mme Lindt- I do not fear paedophiles will snatch my two boys whilst I pee, I just prefer to be able to see my DCs and my 9 month old prefers to see me otherwise he gets upset. My 4 year might wander off and my 9 month old has a separation issues at the moment. The imaginary paedophile would have to be both bionic and invisible to abduct my 2 children within a three minute window.

I am not going to avoid using an empty disabled toilet with no queue because some people who are not there do not approve.

i agree they should be renamed to accessable facilities, and RW comment to that young girl was out of order

Runawaywife!! words fail me , the poor women :( hope your very proud of you of your vile attitude!!

Oh FFS pjmama of course there is a massive difference! 3 year olds piss their pants all the bloody time!! you just monitor when they have had a drink and may need to pee carry a spare set of clothes and go change her in the "non" disabled toilet! by the time your daughter is five she'll be more able to hold it, so these episodes of wet undies will be over!! lucky you hey??

Those of you that use them cos no-one is waiting i do see your point, however how do you know that while your in there that someone with a genuine bowel/bladder problems might not come along? it may only be a couple of minutes but the could be a few minutes to long.

wcgrime

actually I have no issue personally with people using the loos if the main ones are heaving. But saying "Who decided being disabled gives you the right to never que? " suggests to me that you have substantially missed the point.

Sometimes the inability to queue is at the very heart of the persons disability.
Disability does not = person in a wheelchair

3 years old dont piss their pants all the time, mine certainly didnt, and how do you know that the toddler doesnt have a genuine bowel problem? its still embarrasing to wet yourself when you are 3

"Disabled toilets are provided for the use, rightly so, of wheelchair users as they obviously can't access the regular toilets."

It is not about giving them the right never to queue and not all disabled persons are in wheelchairs.

These toilets are larger (so that those with limited mobility, wheelchairs, zimmer frames etc can manouver in them) and have a sink inside the room so that they have privacy (for those with bowel problems, colostomy etc).

Is that so difficult to understand?

3cutedarlings- but that point could apply to using any toilet, not just disabled ones. You may always get someone with a bowel or bladder problem who needs the toilet you're in urgently.

I just think its silly to avoid using an empty queueless toilet in case in the near future a person with a bowel or bladder problem needs the disabled toilet more urgently than you. It all gets a bit silly then! I'm only in there five minutes- do I have no rights?

But what if two people with bowel problems came along at the same time?, then one would have to wait and there would be a terrible accident. Anyone with such terrible bowel problems that they can't wait 2 minutes is probably not going to be out taking the the risk that someone else might be in a public toilet when they need it. You can never gaurantee in a public place that a toilet will be available the minute you need it even if you are disabled. So it is a silly argument for people not to use a disabled loo.

Did you not read the whole of my post MmeLindt ?

They are not just for wheelchair users, they are for anyone who needs more space or a sink/bin in the same room as the toilet or who can't queue. IMO its legitimate to use them for all sorts of 'disabilitys' that have nothing to do with wheelchairs. I have used them on occasion due to gynea issues that have meant I need to wash the blood off my hands in private or I will frighten people. I wouldn't push a disabled person out the way though.

RunawayWife If you said that to me I would think that you were a twat. I am lucky that my problem is occasional and short term and I am a middle aged woman who is not excessively embarrassed by such things. I would have been mortified by someone taking the piss out of any bowel/bladder/gynea problems when I was a teenager.

Two people at the same time with bowel problems is unfortunate.

One person with bowel problems who can't get in because the facilities are being used by people who don't have a genuine need is avoidable.

Do you see the difference?

Its like falling on the ice and breaking your arm is unfortunate, being pushed over and breaking your arm is avoidable with a little considereration. Although the outcomes are the same I suppose.

wcgrime yep agreed two disabled people may come along at the same time, but surely they shouldnt be held up by someone cos they cannot fit there push chair in the normal lol

[sigh]

the point is not that people with disability expect a guarentee that they will never queue. The point is to try and create an enviroment that when they need a loo then they can access one as reasonably quickly as possible.

Having to queue when you have no other impediments to your day out is a minor blip on your horizon.
Having to queue for a loo , especially when you may struggle with any type of delay, layered upon the many many other obstacles that simply going out into the world to do every day stuff like shiopping, can feel terribly stressful and unfair.

If I am out with my son and we have to queue for a disabled toilet that may distress him to the extent that I have to take him home.
If a person who does not HAVE to use the disabled toilet is the reason for the delay then they have effectively spoilt our whole trip out without any cause at all.
If I am out with my DD and we have to queue it is either barely noticeable or a bit inconvenient. Thats it.

So I think we will have to disagree about who is being silly

Someone is about to say "have my toilet facilities, have my disability"

people have campaigned for baby changing facilites thats why we have more of them now days

i dont see the issue with using which ever toliet is convienent for your needs at the time

also a lot of baby changing areas are in disabled loos, who gets priority then?

Is that your response ? To chose not to accept the sensible points posters have tried to put to you to see this from someone elses point of view but to make a sneery comment about something someone may say in a minute?

Is that the lesser of the 'actually perhaps I haven't really thought about it' evil?