Not Really AIBU but amusing twist on old favourite: Disabled/Baby Change Loos

[QueenSconetta]

I know its quite a regular topic here, and I myself have moaned complained whined discussed parents using a disabled toilets with their children.

The other day I was a supermarket in a different town and was quite amused to see all the old ladies going into the baby change room cos it was big enough to fit their trollies in! I did wonder how they got on with using the mini toilet though

One can never win this one me thinks.

Galena Blinkered attitudes?? and you talk about "give and take" but yet in your opinion, the disabled should just wait there and piss/shit themselves because your in line before them!! right you are then.

Unbelievable!! youre also one of those people that lets the child behind them pea themselves because your in front of them arnt you? go on admit it!!

Pebble
Why is it nuts? I have done it plenty of times.

Can I ask what the point of disabled toilets are? I don't mean to be obtuse but the intention behind provision does make a difference.

If it is to ensure that disabled people should be able to go to the toilet without queuing then other people using them is less justified, but the provision of the facility possibly less so (on a level of use against cost/convenience basis).

If it is to ensure that disabled people are able as far as possible to participate in the same activities as everyone else, then other people using them is possibly more justified, as the benchmark for provision would (I suppose) be "no more queuing than anyone else". This could lead to much higher utilisation of the facility.

If the fact that some disabilities require quicker access to toilet facilities is a factor, should this be restricted to those who are registered disabled? What about the sufferer from chronic IBS above? Does this qualify as a disability? What about temporary diarrhea? Where is it appropriate to to draw the line?

3cutedarlings I think we will have to agree to disagree. I cannot agree with 'the disabled person comes first, after all we dont know there needs are'. Many disabled people are as capable of waiting for 2 minutes as I am. Why then do they have the right to go in front when the baby change is also in there? (FWIW if I were waiting to change DD and someone else came along to use the disabled loo I probably would ask if they'd prefer to go first once it became free, but I'd hope they didn't feel that it was their RIGHT)

Agree that it would be most helpful to have acessible toilets rather than just disabled. I also wanted to make the point that if you have a recently trained toddler with no special needs and they can't wait a couple of minutes in a queue, you can take a potty with you. I have a travel potty for DD1 and it has been used in toilet queues on many an occasion when she can't wait any longer. I would always do this rather than take her into the disabled loo.

I have, however, had to occupy a disabled loo before on a few occasions because it is the only baby changing area (this particularly seems to happen in cafes/restaurants, and whilst I could change her somewhere else, I don't think the other diners would appreciate it!)

The coalition ) would say the disabled toilet is needed by those with mobility problem (space), those with issues such as colostomies who need more space and privacy, those who wear nappies as teens/adult and those who need a unisex area to take a carer in with them.

I may have missed some.

I don't think their role to to avoid queuing (although my son can't) but if they are used only by those who really need them (rather than every Tom Dick and Harriet with a misplaced sense of entitlement) then they will benefit those who can't queue as well.

3cutedarlings 'in your opinion, the disabled should just wait there and piss/shit themselves because your in line before them!! right you are then.

Unbelievable!! youre also one of those people that lets the child behind them pea themselves because your in front of them arnt you? go on admit it!!'

When did I say that? I simply said that not every disabled person is going to piss/shit themselves in the 2 minutes it takes to change DD. You seem to think that EVERY disabled person is incontinent. I am pointing out that is not the case.

No, I don't let children wet themselves because I am in front of them - I would let them go ahead of me.

Seriously!? Look I know babies/children don't get stolen everyday, but it can and does happen. You can't see them. I wouldn't, I couldn't. The thought quite honestly would terrify me... I'd rather pee with the door open for all to see!

No Galena, not a right but it might make the world an easier place for those who have other difficulties?

Every time we go out and hit a queue we have problems with ds1. Not once has anyone offered for us to go ahead. People behind in the queue have helped me hold shopping etc, but in 11 years we have never queue jumped.

People would clearly rather watch a child hit his head, bite himself etc than give up their place in a queue.

But for people with learning disabilities - the problem isn't wetting themselves (lots will be in nappies anyway), the problem is the actual act of waiting.

Personally I think everything should be made unisex and accessible - would make my life a lot easier.

TCNY - Its for both, physical and mental disabilities.

Where do you draw the line, diarrhea is not a disability.

Anyway I'm not really arguing that, it's not something I could do... End of! What I'm arguing is that shops, restaurants etc... regularly combine disabled and baby change and therefore I have no choice but to use the facilities for what they were intended for.

Saintly, really? That's awful. If someone is in distress, especially a child, I would always let them go first if I was able.

saintlydamemrsturnip - In that case why shouldn't everyone use them when other options are busy? The users who require those facilities would then still not have to wait any longer than anyone else.

I can see that choosing to use the disabled toilet because it's more convenient and they don't fit into one of the defined categories isn't appropriate if we use your defintion.

(Though " those who need a unisex area to take a carer in with them" COULD be read to include small children")

To put it into perspective

we don't fly because ds1 can't wait/queue
we don't go on buses because ds1 can't wait/queue
we only go to McD's when it's not lunchtime because ds1 can't wait/queue
we don't go to supermarkets etc without 2 adults because ds1 can't queue (can do the rest of the trip with him but can't manage waiting to pay when I'm by myself).
we obviously have never taken him to the cinema but we would definitely struggle with the wait for the film to stat and the queue to get in

And so in and so forth.

Not having to wait makes life accessible and 100 x easier. Ergo people being considerate about use of the disabled toilets can make the difference between a calm, pleasant day out or a total disaster.

I have 2 NT kids and have never once had to rush them ahead of everyone else to the toilet so I don't quite know why that would be a regular need.

'I was waiting at a wheelchair friendly toilet with my mum (who is in a wheelchair) when a young girl came out clearly not in a wheelchair or having any other disability, I JUST SAID AT THE TOP OF MY VOICE, SHE WALKS, PRAISE THE LORD!!!!'

Yeah, and you are exactly the sort of person who makes my life a misery when my (not visibly) disabled son and I have to use disabled loo. I suggest you should think before you open your mouth. Not all disabilities come with a wheelchair attached and not all are visible. my DS looks "normal" but he has autism.

Saintly
Tbh, before I started reading threads like this, it would not have occurred to me that your son was distressed because he was having to wait. Now, I do know, I would ask if you wished to go ahead.

Pebble
No, I don't worry about my DC being stolen. It is incredibly unlikely, and if I were to start doing that then I could never let them out of my sight. Sometimes I would ask a friendly old lady to keep an eye on them (more to make sure that DS did not escape from the buggy and cause havoc than worry that someone would steal them)

Yes it could couldn't it coalition. I don't see why a walking child couldn't be taken into a normal sized cubicle in the ladies though - that's what I've always done.

No-one has ever once complained about me taking a 2 year old boy into the ladies. I still take my 5 year old - no-one seems to mind. They have started to get funny about me taking ds1 (11) in with me. But if the disabled toilet is in use then I have no choice.

So if people who don't need to use the disabled toilet (none of my walking talking 3 year olds has ever needed to use one - ds1 didn't when he was 3 - we used the ladies) then there's more chance that I won't be taking a severely learning disabled pre-teen into the Ladies with me. Everyone's a winner.

QueenSconetta - yes really - it still amazes me to be honest. The problem I have is I can't check out queues and beat a hasty retreat if somewhere is too busy. DS1 HAS to know where we're going and then we HAVE to do what is on the list. So when met with a queue I have a choice between trying to get him out but then having a physical screaming shouting biting headhitting meltdown because we haven't done what I said we would. Or having to hold a screaming shouting headhitting 11 year old in a queue. Neither is a great option!

Often younger children ask me what he's doing or 'what's wrong with him' when he behaves like that, so I explain as much as I can whilst holding a thrashing child but the parents always seem to look at their feet.

I think I will give the first person who offers to let us go in front some sort of reward.

lol star.

Galena You said:-

poster Galena Mon 06-Sep-10 11:39:51
3cutedarlings, see, I'm not sure if I agree, personally. Why should a disabled person, who yes, MAY have a bowel problem, but actually may be as capable of holding on as most people, go ahead of a baby who may have dreadful nappy rash, meaning that a few minutes delay in changing the nappy will cause great discomfort and further distress? It's not purely a disabled loo - it's also the area set aside for baby changing, so both have equal RIGHT to be there. It's really not that cut and dried.

And for your information i am well aware that that not all disabled people are incontinent, as you i know fuck all about what their problems are, so I just let them go first!! is that such a hard thing to do?

"They don't because 'some' have found a solution, which can mean others suffering but choose to justify it in all kinds of way like a poor 16month old having nappy rash.

FFS, you can change a poor 16month old on your lap, on the floor or a park bench etc etc."

Yeah, I could. However, the store/cafe/whatever have thoughtfully provided baby change facilities. In a room which is empty for a large proportion of the time. Therefore I use them. To be honest, DD has never had nappy rash, and yes, I'd wait with her even if she did. But I don't get why EVERY disabled person therefore has to suffer. Is EVERY disabled person incontinent or unable to queue? Sorry, I misunderstood this fact.