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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

ear piercing for young children

297 replies

fumanchu · 01/09/2010 08:38

I was disturbed to overhear in Claire's Accessories yesterday a mum trying to persaude her obviously distressed child to have her ear(s) pierced, saying it wouldn't hurt. The child was about 6 I think. I wasn't sure if the child had had one done and refused the next, she was crying. The shop staff just stood by. I was tempted to say something but didn't. What do you think? and shouldn't shops have some kind of age policy? personally I think its fine for say 13 yr olds and up and I know Italians for example often have babies' ears pierced but i was very unhappy about the coercion.

OP posts:

ForzaDelDestino · 01/09/2010 08:41

It would be hugely rude to go wouldn't it?

megonthemoon · 01/09/2010 08:43

I personally think later is better,maybe because I wasn't allowed until I was 12 :). But I think the situation you saw would completely depend on whether a) mum was trying to persuade her dd to have them done and dd didn't want it or b) dd had asked and was willing, and had one done and then mum was trying to persuade her to get the other done because she was having a tantrum at that point. The first is coercion I'd be uncomfortable witnessing whereas the second could just be about a mum trying to persuade her dd to finish something she'd asked for and got part way through - one earring would look pretty daft after all!

curlymama · 01/09/2010 08:47

My Mum talked me into having my ears pierced when I was about that age, I like getting to wind her up now about her own form of child abuse! It didn't do me any harm, even though I remember really not wanting to have it done. I was glad when all my friends were trying to persuade their parents though, and I'd already been done. I think I rebelled by ending up with three holes in each ear by the time I was 15, as was the fashion then!

So I guess overall I don't think parents should do this, it kind of cheats them out of a rite of passage when they get to being teenagers, apart from the fact that imo it just looks cheap on young children. But the girl in your story will be fine, and you never know, maybe she had really wanted it done before she got into the shop and realised it hurt!

EccentricaGallumbits · 01/09/2010 08:56

f it was in claires they would have done both at the same time so she wouldn't get a chance to have one done then refuse the second.

to save arguments and mums having to persuade girls to get it done maybe should be done before the child can refuse.

Jacanne · 01/09/2010 09:13

My 7 year old dd has just had hers done at Claires (btw she talked me into it, nagged incessantly etc) and I can confirm that they do both ears at exactly the same time and, judging by dd's reaction, it didn't hurt that much.

MIL doesn't approve of having children's ears pierced and told me that I "couldn't" have dd's done which irritated me. But she actually told dd that it would "really really hurt" in an effort to change her mind - which I think is just mean.

usualsuspect · 01/09/2010 09:19

Anyone said it looks common yet

LetThereBeRock · 01/09/2010 09:22

'to save arguments and mums having to persuade girls to get it done maybe should be done before the child can refuse'

Or,even better,perhaps we could allow the child to choose for themselves,and not have it forced on them.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 01/09/2010 09:22

My DD looks dead common, she not only has pierced ears she wears jeggings. Her choice, I wouldn't wear them but they look lovely on her bony arse slender frame.

usualsuspect · 01/09/2010 09:30

I was joking

ledkr · 01/09/2010 09:34

I wanted dd to wait until senior school but she had an infected tooth root which needed removing so I told her if she had it done she could have her ears pierced which she wanted for ages. I thought she wouldn't go thru with either but she did! she was 8. only wears tiny ones tho. I noticed a few girls in her class have been rolling skirts over to make them shorter! shame eh?

BubbaAndBump · 01/09/2010 09:34

well said LetThereBeRock - I can't beleive anyone would insist on getting their child's ears pierced. One thing if the child desperately wants it (as I did, but aged 12 and had to wait till I was 14 or something - showing my age ), but another thing forcing a child to have it done.

weegiemum · 01/09/2010 09:40

My dd1 had it done at the start of the summer hols this year (so they could be removed for gym when she went back) and she is 10. Had it done in Claire's where they did both at the same moment. I was very impressed. I suspect that if the staff were "just stood by" it was because they ere trying very hard not to judge!

EccentricaGallumbits · 01/09/2010 10:11

But young children don't choose to go to school or to wear ugly clarks shoes - both of which can equally scar for life.

charley24 · 01/09/2010 10:12

My Daughter had hers done at the begging of the holidays, she is 10 and I always said 10 was fine as she is old enough to choose. She was out in 5 mins and said it didn't hurt just stung for a second. She has been great cleaning every day and had no problems.

My 6 year old asked and I said no, she would have to be 10 also. At 6 I think she would be fiddling with them and there is the risk of infection.

I think whatever parents choose it's up to them but I HATE babies with earrings, it's horrid ! They can't choose !

BubbaAndBump · 01/09/2010 10:15

You cannot possibly be comparing piercing ears to going to school eccentrica!?

ShowOfHands · 01/09/2010 10:16

Class

Culture

Circumcision

Chav

Common

Roll up, roll up, it's crap bingo.

I'm having the Cs.

DilysPrice · 01/09/2010 10:23

I was discussing this with a workmate from India recently, of course her DD had it done very young - I managed, I think, to find an acceptable way to say "yes of course it's fine for your family because it's your culture, but I'm white middle class, and it's not my culture at all, and DD will be waiting until secondary school"
Unfortunately she then informed me that it has long-term health benefits because of the way the pressure points in the ears improve energy flow, and there's not much I could say to that apart from trying to suppress my .

ShadeofViolet · 01/09/2010 10:29

I was scarred for life by my ugly Clarks shoes! All I wanted was a pair with a key in the heel. Instead I got the ugliest shoes ever in the world, and ther were bright red

I also had my ears pierced at 2, didnt bother me in the slightest. Infact I had them done again at 7.

EccentricaGallumbits · 01/09/2010 10:33

i feel much better about small painless holes in my earlobes than the 10 years of compulsory institutional bullying I was forced to do.

and my clarks shoes were not only ugly, they were brown.

sanielle · 01/09/2010 10:36

I don't like people piercing children's ears but it is their choice.

Lying and saying it won't hurt however is totally wrong though.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 01/09/2010 10:38

I know you were usualsuspect. I've been here long enough now to recognise show of hands list for what it is.

prozacfairy · 01/09/2010 10:42

Different strokes for different folks and all that but I'd rather wait til DD asks me to have her ears pierced. Then we'll negoiate the terms

Few years back when I was in claires with my little sister there was a gil aged about 2 sitting on the stool about to have her ears pierced but the shop assistant refused to do it in the end because the little girl was hysterical. Even though "mummy" tried to soothe her DC and offered to pay double the price Neither the child or the girl with the piercing gun was playing ball.

electra · 01/09/2010 10:46

I don't understand this attitude of people thinking they have the right to comment on the parenting choices of others.

My children have pierced ears, the youngest had hers done recently - she's under 2. I know some people don't agree with it and that's their choice but they have no right to cast judgment on me. I am not a 'chav' (though I dislike the term anyway). My reasons are my own and I don't care what other people think. I've noticed that this is a very contentious issue in the UK (where in many other countries it isn't) and I personally think there are more pressing things to be concerned about.

OTTMummA · 01/09/2010 11:03

LMAO!
Dylisprice! I think i would of just stood there in silence,,, maybe after a min i would of asked her to repeat what she just said, i mean WTF?!

smallisbeautiful · 01/09/2010 11:13

sorry but babies with their ears pierced look like gypsys - flame me!!!

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