ear piercing for young children

[fumanchu]

I was disturbed to overhear in Claire's Accessories yesterday a mum trying to persaude her obviously distressed child to have her ear(s) pierced, saying it wouldn't hurt. The child was about 6 I think. I wasn't sure if the child had had one done and refused the next, she was crying. The shop staff just stood by. I was tempted to say something but didn't. What do you think? and shouldn't shops have some kind of age policy? personally I think its fine for say 13 yr olds and up and I know Italians for example often have babies' ears pierced but i was very unhappy about the coercion.

Of course, the other issue with earrings on children is the safety risk. As a primary school teacher for 40 years, my mum has seen a fair few ripped ear lobes. Not life-threatening, I don't suppose, but also not what you would want to happen to your child. It can happen with studs as easily as with hoops or dangly earrings.

Gotta say that those who think it's chavvy are writing off a large proportion of the world's children.

I had mine done for cultural reasons I think. I was in Tanzania and I reckon my aunts told my mum I looked odd so I had it done - on an ironing board with curved scissors and cotton with lemon juice. All I remember was my mum took me to a nearby toyshop after and pretty much bought me the entire stock.

I don't feel like I was abused actually.I just don't.

I couldn't give a shit what other people do but I laugh at those who say it's abuse or chavvy - not a nice thing to call my mother - I'd love you to say it to her face.

I had mine done when I was 2, apparently I insisted! Actually, I can believe that, I was a horror.

Never did me any 'arm.

I'm not overkeen on the word 'chavvy' but I do think jewellery on children looks a bit tasteless. Why do children need adorning? In my opinion, it's like putting make-up on them or styling their hair. Purely my opinion though and of course I wouldn't say that to someone whose child was wearing jewellery.

And there is a safety risk re. ripped earlobes which seems to be overlooked.

I think a pair of studs on a young child looks fine.

I've been noticing quite a few c.7 year old boys with one ear piercing - is that a trend?

Culture or not, putting holes in children ain't right!

A small boy with a pierced ear looks really awful, IMO. Even worse, two pierced ears, which seems to have become a trend thanks to Beckham et al. Especially when they wear those large diamante studs. Boak.

I think ear piercings on babies look bloody awful. The vast majority in this country are done for decorative purposes, which are totally unnecessary for babies. Someone I know posted photos of her little girl (under 2) on Facebook, she has pierced ears and it just looked horrible. Not to mention that the child in question screamed and cried through the whole thing, but the mother insisted it was done because "it looks good". So wrong.

I wasn't allowed to have my ears pierced as a child or teen (parents religious views) and by the time I had left home for university I didn't actually want them done. I am 35 now and have never had them pierced. I wear some jewellry at times, but I like my ears as they are!

I won't be piercing DD's (or DS's) ears because I'd like them to have that choice too. My understanding is they don't just close up if they were pierced when young? There are many things I am choosing for them, but hairstyles can be changed when older while earrings are a fixed image - or at least the holes or scars being left are (my mum let hers close up decades ago but the marks are still there very clearly).

I don't like pierced ears on babies/children, but then I don't like hair bands with massheeeve bows on babies with no hair or those silver bracelet thingies on babies. Each to their own but it's not for me. Having said that, I got mine pierced at 14 after having a massive strop over it and chucking a plate of spag bol at my dad so I'm sure dd will make her own choice later in life.

Yep- in my day I was the ONLY girl at school with earrings -I think the school had to make an earring policy around me.

The girls were so curious about my tiny studs and I never really understood them as it felt natural to me. I wasn't at all curious about the fact they didn't have earrings. But I do remember when they got to 14 (the age for having them done) and the endless updates on how they were getting on trying to get their parents to agree. It seemed like a right of passage.

Giveitago, I had the same experience. I remember being totally baffled at the time as to why it was a big deal as everyone I knew outside of school had them. It's only since I have been on MN that I have realised what a really big deal it is! Also these endless threads have made me realise that when I go out and about with DD that there are culturally unaware people out there who think I am either a chav or child abuser.

at giveitago, an ironing board? curved scissors?! that is abuse, and i feel sorry for you TBH that your mother obviously caved into pressure from her family, when obviously you were absolutley fine without the bloody earrings!
You THINK, it was for cultural reasons?! did they not even ask or consult you?!
How fucking awful.
But of course all the toys in the world make up for that !
( obviously she felt it was wrong/she felt guilty or she wouldn't of tried to compensate you with toys! )

I would actually tell your mum what she did was wrong, and im pretty sure if someone did that to her/or anyone as an adult they would of felt abused, or violated.

The one thing i stick to in my parenting style is, that if it makes me feel uncomfortable after a rational debate/discussion, its not happening, whatever it is.
therefore pinning my son down so they can get a good X-Ray i can condone,
Shooting a piece of metal through a baby so it looks pretty ( debatable ) not so much.

Well my dd had hers done today, she is 6. She had been talking about it for a while and we went in to claires today. There was a girl having hers done so dd watched, after that she still wanted it done so I agreed. The studs are tiny and she has a chin length bob so tbh you cant even see them lol.

She had hers done one at a time in claires - the lady said they normally did them both together but she was the only one trained in the shop today - she gave me the choice of having them done or coming back another day.

The lady explained the after care to her and she is very concerned about doing it all properly so I think she is responsible enough.

Each to their own really but I would never force her to have them done.

I'm trying to work out how scissors can 'pierce' an earlobe anyway and not leave a slice in it. A large needle yes, but not scissors!

I had mine done at 7. As a tall child with a tiny(adult) neighbour that wanted one of my (second hand) skirt suits, I negotiated having my ears pierced as payment for it . The jeweller just 'froze' my ear and pushed the earring through.

Dd is 3.8 and doesn't have pierced ears yet. I don't like it on very young girls.

Ds is 12 and wants an ear piercing. I've said no. If he wants it as an 18+ adult, up to him, but not on my watch. No way!

I can't believe that anyone would want to persuade their child to have their ears pierced. Sorry but think it's completely ludicrous. It's a fashion accessory, not an important immunisation!

My daughter had her ears pierced when she was 2 and half, this was done for mainly cultural reasons, her Dad is from an arabic family.
She got them done at Claires, and did not really cry much, I am sure I am going to get a load of stick on here for it though, but my DD loves them, and they dont look chavvy on her.
I suppose I would always have got them done at some point, I had my ears pierced at 6, and by the time i was 12 had 3 holes in each ear, 3rd ones done myself!!
I ended up with 7 holes in one ear eventually, all though I have taken most of them out now.

LOL - OTT - bloody hell - I had it done in Tanzania - early 1970's - no guns around then and they are still not used today in many placed.

FFS - WHAT abuse - my mum's family are asian - are you honestly trying to tell me that millions of girls around the world are abused or are chavs? Gosh.

I couldn't tell my mum that I think she abused me simply because erm, she DIDN'T.

OMG - I'm British born and bred and with a very educated and multilingual English father - he clearly didn't think I was being abused in about 1972.

Curved scissors - makes a hole - not a slit.

I'm gobsmacked. I can see an argument for many people not being happy with their own little girls being given a piercing but purlease!!!!!!

No matter what religion/culture or status pierced ears on young children looks horrid, unattractive and loses a little of their innocence. It is unnecessary and permanent, same as circumcision as far as I'm concerned.

Lucky for me my children are beautiful enough without holes stuffed with metal on their ears.

Posie -exactly what I was going to say!

Do those of you who've your babies done think they need extra adornment in order to look attractive? What does a small chunk of gold, or a hoop or a flower stuck in their ear actually add?

And of course those who've had it done won't think think baby looks 'chavvy'.

Posie - how on EARTH does it lose their innocence?

My god - this just highlights that although our lovely mners reckon they are middle class, multicultural (LOL) right on etc - just a bunch of little provincials really, aren't we.

My mum's family would think I looked horrid without earrings I guess. Who's right - noone really.

But it does no harm.

I thought my friends were odd back in the 80's for making a big deal of my piercings - but nothing's changed I guess.

Firstly i didn't say you were not bristish born .
so educated people arn't capable of abuse or witnessing abuse and ignoring it??

Wow must tell my mother they got it wrong when they tested her IQ!

Lots of things happen in other cultures that are considered abusive and wrong to lots of other people.
I don't think that just because a group of people have been doing something for a long time consitutes in it being nessecary OR RIGHT does it?

If piercing your ears was so important to her culture why did she leave it until surrounded by her family?
They didn't even explain to you!

Im frankly gobsmacked that you can recount the story without feeling something is wrong about the whole thing.

'Provincial' for not like ear-piercing on babies.

I've really heard it all now.

5dollar - I have never looked like a chav - my mum is not a chav and neither is my dad a chav lover.

I guess YOUR children would look like chavs with a piercing.

My dad is THE most conservative 'Englishman' you could meet - he had no problems with it. It didn't make me look any more or any less attractive - I just looked like I had some tiny studs in my ears!

God - you lot - honestly.

I had my nose pierced when I was sixteen, it was unusual then...when every tom, dick and harry got it done I took mine out, but that's me. When I see a little girl made 'nice' with a couple of gold studs I genuinely think 'eeewwww'. I have yet to see a child that I felt was improved by it, something adult like piercings is just a step away from American pageants, accessorising our children is really rather tasteless.