ear piercing for young children

[fumanchu]

I was disturbed to overhear in Claire's Accessories yesterday a mum trying to persaude her obviously distressed child to have her ear(s) pierced, saying it wouldn't hurt. The child was about 6 I think. I wasn't sure if the child had had one done and refused the next, she was crying. The shop staff just stood by. I was tempted to say something but didn't. What do you think? and shouldn't shops have some kind of age policy? personally I think its fine for say 13 yr olds and up and I know Italians for example often have babies' ears pierced but i was very unhappy about the coercion.

Massive, you spectacularly miss my point.

Strongest argument ever, actually. Yes. We HAVE to make decisions for our children. But WHICH decisions should we make? WHAT should we feed them? HOW should we discipline them? WHAT media? WHETHER to vaccinate? HOW to educate? The implications of these decisions are huge and, like tiny little holes, stick around for life. Tiny little holes will rarely end up causing a lifetime of social incompetence, poor self-discipline, low self-esteem, violence & criminality, psychological problems, etc.

Many, many decisions we make for our children are unnecessary. It is not necessary for children to watch television, or play video games, for example. Yet these have been proven to be capable of harming children. It is not NECESSARY for children to be vaccinated. It is almost never necessary to feed our children commercially produced formula milk. It is not necessary for children to go to school, but most of us send them. It is not necessary to let babies 'cry it out' etc. but people justify it by saying it was 'necessary' for their 'sanity.' It certainly isn't necessary to take children on skiing holidays - some of them break limbs and some even die. Some drown during unnecessary play in swimming pools. Etc.

@MM - Those are all very interesting examples but none of those happened to me. However, I did have my ears pierced as a baby, and I am absolutely fine with it.

I am bi-cultural. There are things about my non-English culture that can bug me but my ears being pierced as a baby just isn't one of them, never has been and neveer will be. I wasn't abused and grew up in a loving home with a loving family. Indeed I believe that it is disrespctful to those who really have been abused to imply that I am an abuse victim because everyone who has their ears pierced is a victim or an abused child. I haven't been brain washed and would regard myself as an intelligent, educated and professional woman.

Egypt....most of my decisions for and about my dcs are in their best interests, ear piercing is in nobody's best interests. I have them vaccinated to save them from fatal and disfiguring disease, I feed them good home cooked food because it's good for them, I teach them respect and good manners, they are kind and helpful, they are educated at school because it's necessary to progress further within this society.

Basically your argument is flawed because there is no upside for a baby to have it's ears pierced, none what so ever, no benefit for the baby......unlike food, milk, education, vaccinations, etc.

Massive - I'm going to say it - you want to say that one particular region of the world who's people do really bloody well in the Uk, better than the majority, and a region that's on the up when our country is on the complete down - that's millions of girls - are they abused? Do you actually pity all these doctors, dentists and industrialists do you.

They seem to be doing absolutely fine to me and I doubt they'd consider themselves chavs or abused.

I am not for ONE second saying your daughter should have her ears pierced but what I question is the rationale here - does it make that girl abused, downtrodden, resentful of her parents - no it doesn't - so why do YOU care.

Is this very clever girl earning a huge salary in a professional job worried about her ear piercing. I very much bloody doubt it.

It might not be for you but why do people on this post want to tell us that we're abused and chavvy - even if some of us shop at 'asda' etc. We're bloody not.

I understand your point of view - I have no time for it personally - as I think that there are people on this thread unwilling to think outside their own teeny weeny experience of culture and global ways.

I prefer my way - I've done great out of it as will my ds as long as he doesn't get too involved with offspring of narrow minded ignorant people who use boden as a benchmark for everything. He starts school in a few weeks and I'll watching for this.

giveitago, you said earlier that if you had a DD you'd "want them to have their ears pierced young but at the same time I'd be scared for them (as I hate seeing kids scared)".

It's that.
Some people don't like to think of children being hurt and scared. And when they see the earrings that is what they think of. (I know I do).

Why did your mum buy you most of the toy shop afterwards?

Obviously they grow up to be doctors/dentists/whatever - but an adult with piercings doesn't look the same as a child who's had it done to them.

@giveitago

actually I have never used the word chav on here nor suggested that even abused children can't do well.

I am simply saying that you cannot justify boring holes into babies for no other reason than your own self satisfaction.

But if you really haven't grown up enough to stop treating your kids like barbie dolls, I don't expect you will want to understand that

Oh paisley - you're just like the very dumb poster who reckoned I'd been abused and suggested I tell my mother this - just because I'd been pierced on a table with curved sciccors.

This is what gets me - people see a story with bits missing - make up the other bits and come up with a load of bollocks. Pure 100% ignorance based on what you like to believe about other people and other countries.

OK - listen and listen well paisley - we were in Tanzania - staying with relatives - rich fucking relatives- my piercing was done there in c. 1972. No surprises there were no guns.

Is it OK to get your ears pierced in a place called Claire (is it that awful place that sells metal stuff all at uder £2 - so you'd get your kids pierced). But not to have it done abroad under the eye of a qualified doctor who used an ironing board as a table and curved scissors and sterilised cotton; This is why my hole is tiny and clean and neat - because I had it done properly.

Yep my mum took me to a toy shop after (yep - they have toy shops in Tanzania) and we bought everything up because my family were wealthy and WE COULD AFFORD IT and in those days and in that country that's what you did to demonstrate your wealth.

FFS - why else would this happen you wierdos - because they were fucking rich - not because she was feeling bad because she 'ABUSED ME'.

My god - I'm shouting here - I CANNOT BELIEVE THE IGNORANCE.

I worry for many of you - I really do - I'm assuming here you've never been outside the uk let alone europe. Bloody hell.

Yep - I don't like to see los suffer. I wouldn't pierce my boy but I would pierce my girl but I don't have one so I don't know. I most probably would because I don't have an issue with it and I doubt any daughter of mine would grow up to resent me because of fucking earrings.

I despair - I really do.

This is why my hole is tiny and clean and neat

LMFAO - does the sun shine from it as well?

and by the way...... who was it that brought money into it? I also have money but I don't feel the need to use the fact to claim the high ground! BTW, rich kids get abused just as poor kids do - maybe that is a shock to you

But, although I agree of course that ear piercing is unnecessary, some of you are using language that massively overstates and misrepresents the issue.

'punching holes in' - suggests violence and whoever it was who said it was disfigurement well that is clearly ridiculous. Although I have no problem with people thinking it looks awful (I think it looks nice - that is my personal view) - some of the responses I've seen here are clearly not measured ones.

massivemammaries - This is why my hole is tiny and clean and neat
Just saw this on the top of the last hour postings before seeing the topic heading - PMSL, quite disappointed to find out it was only about ear-piercing

a piercing gun is essentially a punching machine so I don't think the use of that phrase is inappropriate.

You would like it to be understated because you think it is harmless and a good idea.

A bit like a bacon lover who doesnt like to think about the little piggies being slaughtered!

Punching holes? boring holes? Child abuse?

Dramatic much

massivemammaries - please stop telling me what I think. You have no right, it is rude and you are in any case wrong. I don't want anyone to 'understate' anything. I don't need the approval of others to live my life as I see fit.

MASSIVE - do you think I was abused? Am I disfigured. Has it affected my life outcomes.

If so, why? Please tell me why.

I'm responding the fact that people are horrified that I had my piercing on an ironing board - they are making huge assumptions which are very very wrong. My ears were pierced before this place called clare or claire's

Toys to appease an abused child? Heck no - just to spoil me - that's it - what's the bloody issue.

How on earth is this abusive to me.

What does LMFAO mean exactly?

Yep but I'm told that I've bought money into it - just telling you why toys were bought for me - not to soothe my abused brow but because my folks wanted to treat me - they could so they did. Basically if you could afford toys in tanzania almost 40 years ago - you just bought them. Different place, different era.

@ giveitago ..... well you plainly have issues even if you do yave money and a perfect little hole

would you like to know what the funniest thing about all this is??

Massive - if you are so convinced I was abused I must be in denial. Can you convince me that I am abused. Also how exactly am I a chav?

giveitago - some people are obviously so judgmental that they cannot accept that their perspective on life is not the only one. They make themselves feel better by insulting others and telling us who we are and what we think. I'm not going to engage with it any more.

@MM - we have said over and over that we weren't abused as children and that it is disrespctful to people who really have been abused. others have come on and said the same thing, including those who don't like piercing. I can only assume that you think we are too stupid to recognise that we have been abused. Is assumption correct?

Lol@punching machine.

It's all just getting a bit silly now.

It may be technically something that punches holes in the ears, but you say it as if it's a rusty old hole punch in the back office of a Bad Place

I had my ears punched, all 10 holes, oh and my nose too, and I'm still standing.

@ giveitago ..... when exactly did I call you a chav?

@ novice
assumption is not correct

but I really do think some of you are very very funny

@MM - but you still say that we as individuals have been abused? even though we say we haven't?

you really don't get it do you?