ear piercing for young children

[fumanchu]

I was disturbed to overhear in Claire's Accessories yesterday a mum trying to persaude her obviously distressed child to have her ear(s) pierced, saying it wouldn't hurt. The child was about 6 I think. I wasn't sure if the child had had one done and refused the next, she was crying. The shop staff just stood by. I was tempted to say something but didn't. What do you think? and shouldn't shops have some kind of age policy? personally I think its fine for say 13 yr olds and up and I know Italians for example often have babies' ears pierced but i was very unhappy about the coercion.

I am Italian and can I state is is certainly not the norm for italian babies to get their ears pierced. Where I am from it would be considered quite horrific.

Personal views I cringe when I see children with pierced ears esp the really small infants. I am gobsmaked that with all the things you have to enjoy with a newborn, one of the things on the list would be ; oh yes must remember to put holes in her ears. It also looks tacky and dreadful.

sorry - you are just not meant to punch holes in babies and kids - if they were meant to have holes then they would come pre-holed

Okay got an excerpt from a website that illustrates the differences between Western and Asian/African reasons for ear piercing...

"Ear piercing has been considered fashionable for both men and women in the western world at various historical periods. The practice of piercing the earlobe has been especially stylish from since the 1990s well into the early years of the 21st century. However, as evidenced from the mask of Tutankhamun found in an archaeological dig in Egypt, ear piercing has long been around, and it is considered to have spiritual and cultural meanings in many societies.

There are different cultural significances of ear piercing. Ted Polhemus, an American anthropologist, believes that ears were first pierced because primitive tribes feared that evil spirits and demons could enter the body through the ears. Piercings allows the demons and spirits to slip through the lobes. He also claims that in many societies, piercing of earlobes is a ritual to celebrate puberty."

www.ehow.com/about_6565215_history-pierced-ears.html#ixzz0yIU7QomU

Posie, You described yourself as an English woman. I would regard myself as bi-cultural as I have flit between both English and ancestral cultures all my life. I can celebrate one, without feeling the need to denigrate the other. I don't have any crap to project on to anyone (including you) but do take issue with the notion that the English culture is superior to Asian/African cultures, which seems to be the subtext of your post. If, that is what you're implying, then I find that a racist view.

@ novice .... oh right then, if it is a ritual then it MUST be ok.

I'll go and get all their ears pierced right after I've observed these rituals www.ygoy.com/index.php/top-5-really-weird-rituals-involving-children/

Yes but you could apply that argument in a variety of contexts;

it's not natural to dye your hair
to have your teeth straightened
or even to wear clothes or anything fashionable

It's fine to object to it but I don't agree that it is particularly painful or traumatic to have your ears pierced - and some posters have suggested it's on a par with something like female circumcision (which has implications for your life as an adult quite apart from the pain involved). I remember a sensation having my ears pierced, but not pain. Though I appreciate all people are different and perhaps some would disagree.

Everyone has different points of view about everything, which is a good thing. But it's not reasonable to get angry because others don't agree with your opinion or to insult others.

@ mammaries: Haven't clicked on the link as it will no doubt be offensive but where did I say that all things ritual must be okay? Please read my posts. I said that there are different reasons why people have babies' ears pierced. My previous post was outlining the fact that there were different views. That doesn't make all rituals okay. It just mean that there are different views.

Novice I'm with you.

I had my ears pierced at the age of three or four - late by asian standards.

I do not feel abused - I do not feel more adorned for it (you can't see my little studs as I have huge hair)or less horrid. I'm pleased that I did not have to go through it later when the fear is greater.

Sadly, and I hate to say it, I feel this thread has become somewhat racist in tone. The op concentrated on a mother trying to get her daughter's ears pierced inspite of the child's obvious distress to the value of other cultures. The distress of a child was left behind ages ago.

Those with ear piercings are not saying that girls without are lacking. Those who don't entertain the idea are attacking us on cultural grounds.

Shame - but there you go.

Yep, I agree about earrings and people not having holes in their ears at birth - but the same applies to everything - people who are not meant to be blond but dye their hair, people who are pale trying to get a bit of a tan. The works.

I like my ears pierced and I'm happy I had it done young (curved scissors, ironing board and lemon cotton - the works). It doesn't mean I'd do it to any female offspring of mine but I certainly wouldn't judge those who do.

Actually I think if you are going to take that decision for your child, the earlier the better surely?

Personally, I think it looks pretty revolting on really small children, and round my way - demographic heavily weighted toward white MC - it's seen as chavvy in the extreme. Would find it really hard to inflict that on my daughter tbh, but, as they say, each to his/her own.

novice, by 'defending' something simply because it's cultural, that implies that things are acceptable solely on the basis that they have roots in cultural traditions, I think that was the point. I do wish you would stop insinuating people are racist, not a single person on this thread has given a hint of a racist view. Your perception is a bit skewered in that respect.

People don't routinely bleach their newborn's hair or apply tan. Surely and hopefully that may or may not happen on request of the adolescent to their parents. I feel that is when the discussion should take place.

I also went to school with a girl who had no Lower earlobe due to an infection after a pierced ear as an infant. She was essentially disfigured by an unecessary procedure.

FFS the race card. Yes all the calls of 'chav' were directed at non whites. If it's racist to say I am pleased that as an English Atheist I have no cultural practices that involve piercing, cutting, shearing then yes I am racist. I forgot that saying something nice about one's own culture is automatically racist if you're white.....now ironically that is racist. The subtext is one you have projected. Telling me that it was similar to how the English viewed the Africans and Asians as savages is very very insulting.

I get very pissed off at the 'unspeakable' topics because they are guarded by culture or religion. Well I am a human being first and I expect to be able to air my views about human beings without being bound by culture, especially one that isn't mine. Culture and religion do not excuse putting holes in a child's ears, especially when nobody (without google) can explain what the cultural reason is, not even a notion of historical reasoning just blinkered following.

yes, but i don't know how many people find it acceptable to dye a 6 month old babys hair, or put some fake tan on them either,
Its not that its not natural, its the age and consent that bothers me!
im pretty sure that if you forced a 15 yr old to have her ears pierced when she didn't want to then you would arrested for assault.
The only difference i can see is that the 15yr old has a voice, a 1 week old baby has no say, its her body, why is it your right to scar her ears for life?
Most women are just lucky their daughters eventually want their ears pierced, and that allergic reactions are rare/not life threatening.
However, there are still some people who feel let down by their parents choice to do something they never asked them to do.

OTT people do dye their dcs hair and crimp and curl, in American beauty pageants and I think we all agree that they are hideous.

im a bit dissapointed at the lack of cultural explanations from people here aswell, i was hoping to have a bit more insight than what i found on google!

Lucy - how do you know that a single person has given a hint of a racist view. For some of us it's been more of a hint.

No it's not the race card.

As I said - those of us who don't have a problem with ear piercings don't have a problem with those that don't like it - we don't view your children as being lacking.

You (generic those not agreeing with us) believe that we are either abused (I've got to laugh at this) or are victims of 'culture' - an inferior one.

I'd suggest that YOU are playing the race card.

"Personally, I think it looks pretty revolting on really small children, and round my way - demographic heavily weighted toward white MC - it's seen as chavvy in the extreme"

So if the MC mummies think it chavvy it must be true

When you say 'bad' things about cultural traditions, it does not mean you are being racist. Just because some of you say you are perceiving racism doesn't mean there is any. It's just ridiculous how quickly a conversation descends into stupidity.

Can anyone direct me to the racist comments?

Fgs talk about missing the point.

yes please, because i missed that one

grape.....was that about the MC?

No - the whole racism implication.

I think you will find that giveitago said that the thread had become racist in tone. I agree.

of course you would well done!