ear piercing for young children

[fumanchu]

I was disturbed to overhear in Claire's Accessories yesterday a mum trying to persaude her obviously distressed child to have her ear(s) pierced, saying it wouldn't hurt. The child was about 6 I think. I wasn't sure if the child had had one done and refused the next, she was crying. The shop staff just stood by. I was tempted to say something but didn't. What do you think? and shouldn't shops have some kind of age policy? personally I think its fine for say 13 yr olds and up and I know Italians for example often have babies' ears pierced but i was very unhappy about the coercion.

Oh ffs OTT mum - please call social services on my behalf.

Oh in my family we speak 5 languages between us - the majority by my very abusive chavvy mum - my father had diplomatic status - we are not chavs - in fact - we're quite a fun family with lots of experience and education - we were NEVER taken for being a problem family by our peers who were from a broad spectrum of society.

A pair of bloody earrings for goodness sake.

I'm soooo glad I'm not being brought up by you.

Giveitago - isn't it rather sad that your Mum's family would think you looked horrid without a hunk of metal through your ear?

Why did you need the extra adornment?

Although then you go on to contradict yourself, saying it didn't make you look any more or less attractive, so I'm confused... Why bother then?

giveitago Culture is a very poor excuse for putting holes in a child's ears. There are lots of cultural practices that are pretty crappy.

I didn't contradict myself - another poster reckoned that it was to make girls look attractive. I didn't say it. I was responding to the poster who said it.

Posie, I had my ears pierced at one week old. There was no drama and can't remember it. I love having my ears pierced, and its part of my culture. Every female member of my family had their ears pierced at same stage including DD, again no drama. Not child abuse or a chav thing or a "it makes her look nice thing", just a cultural thing that was very important to me to do. Per my earlier post, the majority of people on this planet have the same view. It doesn't make my view any more valid than yours, nor the other way around. I do however, find your comments highly disrespectful to my culture and race. Now, as you were.....

Well, I'm very happy with my culture - it's done me no harm whatsoever. Possibly, it's done me quite a bit of good.

Ok I see what you're getting at. If I see a blond child with an earring I feel it's not wrong - if I see a blond child without an earring I feel it's not wrong.

I have mentioned nothing to do education in response to who gets their ears pierced?
what point are you trying to make?
I don't care, who you are, where you're from, what uni you went to, or how many languages you speak, that means nothing really, or do you think it does?
Because really you sound like you have issues with that aspect.

My family is fun, and i love them, including my mother, very much, doesn't mean that i think she has always done whats in my best interests, i have told her how i felt about her getting my ears pierced and she has apologised, and after my sisters reaction, she didn't do it with any other siblings because she realised it wasn't nessecity or worth the upset later on.

I only have one DS, and am not perfect, but TBH in this situation i would of told my family to back off.
But then im my own person, i don't bend to someones expectations if i don't agree with it.

I'm not really sure where I stand on the issue of piercings being a cultural tradition, but I do know that specifically is no defence for anything. Female circumcision, foot-binding, etc, are cultural traditions which are very wrong and anybody with half a brain would not even begin to defend them on the grounds of tradition. Before anyone with a pierced baby/child jumps on me for being extreme, I'm not comparing the above examples to ear piercing, I am simply pointing out that using "it's a cultural tradition" as a reason/defence for anything and expecting people to just accept that without question or debate is ridiculous.

what are the cultural reasons?
I know there are many, but whenever i have asked, no one can give me a straight answer, someone please enlighten me.

Novice. Really you find a blanket statement about ear piercing disrespectful to your own culture and race? I'm actually laughing at such idiocy.

I am delighted that as an Atheist English woman I have no 'culture' of piercing, cutting, clipping, shearing or rites of painful passage to subject my children too.

Me too PosieParker, so glad!

Still awaiting the cultural reasons, rather than it became a fashion and stuck.

I suspect the cultural reasons are simply based in decoration, but I could be wrong....

OTT, I dont understand others, as you say I think that there are a wide variety of reasons (I have never asked others why they do it) but dont really want to say mine without outting myself. Sorry sounds lame!

Posie, what I find offensive is your refusal to accept that shock, horror, there might be views/reasons other than the blinkered ones you hold. Your last line would fit in well with the times of the 1600s/1700s when the English considered the Asians and Africans savages.

And because it's 'cultural', we're not allowed to question it...?

I'm so glad my culture doesn't work like that...

I think its a good thing to question it and I think that good things have come about over the centuries in my culture because other people questioned some practices. I also think its a good thing to ask why. I just find it offensive to imply that there might be other views other than its child abuse.

novice, I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but I think the "wide variety of reasons" you speak of are all likely to be the same (defended by tradition, but based in fashion). I wouldn't necessarily say you sound lame, but I also don't think you can justify your perspective by being quiet about your reason. Honestly, do you have one that is seperate from "it's tradition"? You don't have to say what it is, I agree with that, but it's difficult for people to understand or consider where you're coming from without knowing....well....where you're coming from.

Some people seriously need to accept that just because something is traditional or cultural, it doesn't make it beyond reproach. It does seem to be a very popular and sometimes unchallenged thing to say on this site....

Sorry novice, you are offended by me being pleased about the culture I come from....frankly I'm offended and pretty fed up that I am not allowed to celebrate my own culture. I think you're projecting your own crap at my door.

Nothing blinkered about not harming children, quite blinkered and a little stupid to go along with something just because it's part of a culture though. What would have happened if you hadn't put holes in your child's ears?

Besides it looks so naff.

'No matter what religion/culture or status pierced ears on young children looks horrid, unattractive and loses a little of their innocence.'

That's a matter of opinion. It annoys me when people state their opinions as fact. If you're happy with your own lives you shouldn't feel the need to judge and look down on others for a difference of opinion.

'I'm offended and pretty fed up that I am not allowed to celebrate my own culture.'

What's that supposed to mean?

It's obvious it's my opinion, I hate it when people set up every sentence with 'In my opinion...'.

I'm sure you never judge anyone.

from baby world.com

Culture or fashion
Ear piercing has long been the subject of controversy but for some, piercing a child's ears has deep-rooted cultural meanings. Evidence of ear-lobe piercing is seen in ancient civilisations dating over 6000 years and many ancient African, Aboriginal and Nordic cultures all pierced their ears.

Hindus hold an ear piercing ceremony known as Karnavedha on babies of both sexes at twelve days old. They believe that the piercing of a hole in the lower lobes of the ear have benefits of acupuncture as well as distracting evil spirits.

Ear piercing is also mentioned in the Bible and for some Christians is said to be a sign of faith. It is normal, for example, for Latin American Christians to routinely pierce baby girls' ears.

As well as cultural reasons, parents may also choose to pierce their baby's ears because of family traditions or, most typically, to identify the baby as a girl. However, some babies have their ears pierced because of the social culture they are born into. The Beckhams, for example, played down tabloid criticism of their decision to pierce their 3-year old son's ears saying that they had it done because they thought it 'looked cute'.

The question that has divided people is whether a parent has the right to make that choice for their child as part of a fashion or social statement.

nothing here tells me a baby needs to have their ears pierced.
Nothing here shows a justified, logical reason to me why a baby/child has to suffer pain becuase of the culture it was born into.

Its all decoration, superstision and outdated tradition.

Novice posted that me saying my culture doesn't require such things was like looking upon Asians as savages.

I certainly try not to.

I see novice's point entirely.