to think large ladies proclaiming themselves 'real women' is offensive to us slim types?

[madmn52]

I am so sick of hearing some (stand back from the flame throwers!) big ladies being so defensive about their weight that they even try and claim a monopoly on womanliness. I like being slim and much prefer to be - although I have never really been overweight. I am sick of hearing women saying - 'men prefer a real woman' - or ' men prefer curves' - or 'something to grab hold of' etc.etc. As a slim woman - if I were to walk in the office and announce that men prefer a woman like me to a larger woman - because for example, 'they dont like all that excess flesh ' - then all hell would break loose !! Or if I was to dare say that women over a size 14 were not 'real women' - there would be outrage.
So large ladies - if you are happy and satisfied with how you look - fine - no-ones asking you to put yourself down - but please could you stop putting others down in the process !

hmc links to other threads is really bad form. If you've got issues with anyone here then talk about that, no more immature snipey comments

Kittywise, lovely of you to wade in. I was linking to that thread to let them know they had been rumbled. Will you be sharing your advice with the 'other posters' since they originally linked to this thread?

Also appreciating Emmy's post

Just want to say that I don't feel that I have been 'rumbled'. I came to look at this thread as it was mentioned elsewhere. I read the whole thing and I responded. As another poster had already said exactly what I felt I quoted her post.

I'm not hunting anyone. I do feel very strongly that it is really sad that women, all kinds of women, spend so much time and energy judging each other on appearance. I hate the concept of settling into opposing camps and slating each other.

I do however think that there is a difference between linking to an 'AIBU' thread (which is surely done all the time?) and linking to 'prove a point' to a thread where 90% of posters aren't involved but are actually talking about something else... And in many cases having a very hard time at the moment.

I agree with you. My BMI is about 24. However, I think there is denial on both sides. And not just on the part of individuals. The media and society and women, and men are all in denial about what a normal, average woman looks like. It is only the lucky few, who are genetically blessed (well, blessed in this particular era iyswim) to have very slim frames.

Ah, I see , you're one of those kind of posters hmc, never mind. I shan't bother.

urgh to hunting in packs

To clarify this 'hunting in packs' thing. A poster getting cross and another couple of posters sticking up for her doesn't really qualify as 'hunting' does it? And anyone else that came over from our thread (such as myself) merely had an opinion regarding the op and the topic in general. Now there is someone charging over to our thread and shouting when, as I mentioned, 90% of those on said thread have no idea why they would be being shouted at.

ahem is this shouting?

''You've been rumbled

hunting in packs across the boards is really VILE behaviour

yak''

rather mild actually doncha think

Thanks Forza, but don't get embroiled on my behalf...am a bit askance at whole thing and not interested in a slanging match, need to write an essay today! (so must avoid distractions). Have reported the posts which refer to me as 'smug bitch' and 'cow' etc to MN towers and will leave it there. Honestly, I don't have the energy or the time for this!

no worries, am not embroiled

we can all read and draw our own conclusions from the linked thread

take care

Thanks Forza, you too

forza hmc

Please can you leave this discussion in AIBU & not drag in an entire other thread.

I am on the BESH thread for support regarding TTC. I couldn't give a flying fuck who is fat, who is thin or who is in between.

Thankyou.

Right, so let me get this straight: if someone is being a cow to someone I know and a few of us who know that person stick up for her, that's hunting in packs. But linking to a thread to encourage people to go over there and see what bitches they are and perhaps to criticise them is perfectly acceptable, reasonable and not in anyway bitchy or encouraging hunting?

How do people even make that acceptable in their minds?!

Can I just point out that if people do come over to the thread, they will have to wade through a lot of older women suffering the anguish of the damned about not being able to conceive and giving out a lot of personal info that they can only share with others in that thread. The thought of people being directed to read our grief and pain just so some mardy idiots can feel they are making some sort of point makes me feel sick and very, very upset.

no, no one was encouraging hunting in packs, as you can tell, it is frowned on; the thread in question was linked to and the linker left Mners to draw their own conclusions

HTH

Oh, and the fact that posts on that thread have been deleted kind of indicates that MNHQ don't like hunting either, non?

Blimey, there is always 'hunting in packs' here. in all the years I've been here that's what's happened when things get out of hand. It would never occur to me to actually make a link to another thread because of it.
Thing is HMC if you piss a lot of people off then a lot of people will gang up on you. That's the way it goes. The simple solution is not to piss a lot of people off. It's not rocket science.
BTW I am not on anyone's side here, but it would be easier for you if you could learn this lesson now, or a least not be surprised of upset if you get jumped on.

so you agree to folk on another thread saying yay let's gang up, and pile in, kitty

nice post

I never swore at you, I follwed the link, I drew my own conclusion

Oh, I've just discovered that someone on my thread has asked for a link to be removed and that is what you were referring to, so I apologise for the first paragraph above. Still wasn't MNHQ removing it though. And the rest of what I just said still stands.

NO-ONE said anything remotely like 'yay, let's gang up and pile in'! Christ, you have a worrying chip on your shoulder.

Right, so let me get this straight: if someone is being a cow to someone I know and a few of us who know that person stick up for her, that's hunting in packs

Erm yes it would be really wouldn't it, I notcied it happens a lot here as a noob so no cliques here

So this thread has gone full circle then, skinnies should take whatever is said to them on the chin if it makes fatter women feel better, how ludacrous.

Not quite the same the otherway around is it?

Helen you know it's possible for a slim woman to dislike herself and her body as much as a fatter woman right? So yes comments made to a slim women, such as stick insect could be just as hurtful to calling a larger woman fatty.

No woman should accept negative comments on her appearance and other women should know better than to encourage it.