MN is quite happy to let innacurate thread titles be posted that could promote discrimination against disabled children and their famillies

[wasuup3000]

Title say's it all.

One of the reasons I stay away from any threads to do with SNs is because I know fuck all about SNs and worry that anything I say is going to be wrong.

I tend to just watch because I don't want to offend anyone who is struggling with their/their kids SNs.

so basically whats being said that if you dont happen to agree with the majority you SHOULDNT post

fgs im sure people must have better things to do,from what ive seen SN seems to have a good loyal support network on here ,use the forums to educate challenge maybe scewed attitudes but dont start dictating the boards as makes No sense

Hammy, I love the fact that mn is open too & we can draw on each others experience & opinions BUT it should never be an anvironment where it is OK to treat disabled children & their families as some sort of subclass of society, thankfully the days where it was OK to insist that black people should not be treated equally are long gone.. all we are asking is that disabled people are treated with the same respect in posts.

I agree with pagwatch.

the bit that gets to me most is that whenever there is any defending of SN needed, then it tends to just be the same old few doing it.

where are all the posters who have learned so much then? where are all the posters who think the education and enlightenment should be carried on, by the weary, worn-down few (who are usually met with lots of - here come the PC brigade, or some such nonsense)

the thread that really did it for me was a few months ago, where the OP came home a little later than usual (but still actually early) and found her ASD daughter had been left at home by school transport.

the sheer number of people who leapt in and posted absolute bollocks just to (seemingly) be the first to say "oh yes, YABU" was astounding.

that really was a thread where jsut stopping, thinking, and posting considerately would have meant a lot more.

environment

I don't understand. Are you saying these things shouldn't be discussed? There have been long running racism, sexism and homophobia threads.

What was offensive about the swimming pool thread's title?

genuine question...

Morloth, please please don't stay away from sn threads for fear of saying soemthing wrong.. we really aren't that scary. Its just those threads & posts that treat disabled people as some sort of lesser person that get people backs ups.
Honest, thoughtful well intentioned advice is always welcomed no matter who it comes from.

imo it is one thing to have a thread having a discussion about SN,
but these threads aren't about that
they are started to hurt and in the case of the ADHD one the op is continuing to spew its sick stuff, yet it is still there.

I htink, Coalition, it's more a case, as pagwatch said, of realising just how isolated we are.

whenever there is a thread ilke this (or the ADHD one running currently), a lot of posters mention how they have enjoyed reading more about disabilities, and learning about disorders. how MN has been such a wonderful education.

But then a ridiculous thread statrs up, and all of a sudden, it's just us fighting.

And our lives are full of battles already.

If, for eg, a benefits thread starts, it si not jsut people on benefits who answer the ridiculous "oh yes, I know a single mother, she gets 53 million pounds a year, and gets her swimming pool serviced for free" posts. quite rightly, everyone has an opinion on that.

but when it's a SN thread?

sadly, all the lovely support seems not to be there.

"I always think of my own childhood when children were just naughty, couldn't concentrate etc, without the need for labelling/chemical intervention."

And do you know all those children now, Hammy? Are they all fine and happy and living full lives having completed their education and gained qualifications?

Also, did you go to a special or an 'approved' school?

I'm not sure that as a child you were really qualified to diagnose serious behavioural conditions that may or may not have been present.

Stewie, that's what really makes me realise how isolated I am, though.

I think, overall, MN has quite a high proportion of SN users, and SN awareness is, on the whole, better than in my RL, for instance.

But still no one tries to understand (it seems, sometimes )

and every time I read a post that says (not having a dig at anyone on this thread, btw) "oh, but I just stand by because I don't know what to say", I die a little inside.

Because my dd is going to need a lot of understanding in the world as she grows up. and if the people who are closest to understanding just stand by and don't say anything, then she is screwed, quite frankly.

no-one expects anyone to get it right all the time. but we're really not a scarey bunch, and all we are asking for is acceptance, and a little support and understanding.

I've only scanned the thread and I haven't seen anything that is extraordinarily offensive - am I missing something?

You don't have to fight - I don't see this any different to a daftpunk special, and without the annoying protestations that they didn't MEAN to offend.

grapeandlemon.. I honestly didn't find the title in the swimming pool thread offensive but ther were certainly soem postsin there that were.... It seems some people think its OK for disabled people to get changed in the disabled loo for example... !

Are the positions 'I think that ADHD is over diagnosed', 'I think that ADHD may in future turn out not to exist', 'Parents may be responsible for some aspects of their childrens behaviour' automatically offensive?

i don't agree. lots of thread titles have stood that i disagreed with strongly, and some i would have thought were either libellous or promoted discrimination or even violence (the 'smack dog-owners around' thread) - not just

but better to argue them out than ban them.

ultimately if i'm feeling too peed off to argue, i don't have to click on the thread.

silverfrog, can I ask if you would have understood as much about SN as you do had your DD been NT?

tethersend, no of course I wouldn't. because of course someone who lives it 24/7 is going to know more about it than someone whose life is only peripherally touched by SN.

My brother is likely HFA (but of course I saw that form a very different perspective), and my uncle is disabled too. I had a profoundly deaf girl in my close circle of friends at school, so my life was not untouched by disability.

But i think I would always have tried to understand, which is something I don't always get the feeling happens on here (and I don't mean absolutwely everyone by that, but just the clear-thinking, un-ignorant posters). Sorry ot keep harping on about it, but the bus thread really did change something for me - the OP had put everyhtig in her post, and still got vilified for daring to be only 10 minutes early for the school bus.

there was precious little horror at what had happened, and virtually no support for her being angry with the bus company - but lots of ridiculous posts about how she shouldn't leave her front door unlocked, and shoud always be available at all times in case the school decides to send her dd home a bit early, etc.

and, tbh, I would be horrified if a bus company shoved my NT dd through the door without checking I was there and/or ok, tbh.

just a moment's thoguht, to try to understanfd why she was shaking with anger, and what hideous thoughts must have been going through her mind.

as I said earlier, MN on the whole has a reasonable awareness of SN - we are more "visible" if you like - adn yet hundreds of posters glossed over the salient facts.

that's quit depressing - to me it signalled that in their haste to have an online barney, disability got overlooked. like disability is always overlooked.

Stewie - sorry to hear about your dd. i hope you don't have to wait too long to hear. dd2 was assessed for CF too, on account of manky mucousy bowel movements, and a stubborn chest infection (as well as generally bein FTT and a couple of other things). It is a stressful wait.

The comments to do with 'the same few sticking up for SN issues' is a bit unfair. Many posters - me included - don't go onto SN threads very often. The campaigning SN voice on mn always seems to be so strong and I would never have guessed that some of those regular posters feel isolated when more general SN posts come up.

I don't think you can ever expect a whole group of posters to stand with you against offensive comments. It's not necessarily through lack of support, it's just the messy nature of message boards.

YANBU at all. As the mother of an SN child I have been sickened in recent weeks by certain threads/ posts. And I don't see why I deserve to have more anguish piled on my already blighted existence by people who have the luxury of being able to spout off about things that 'happen to other people', things that they themselves will never experience.

Would a thread titled 'Why don't black people stop bleating about racism?' or similar, be allowed to stand? I would hope and assume it never would. And there is no logical reason why people who can't help their disability should be treated any differently to people who can't help the colour of their skin. As others have said, it's because the disabled are seen as a financial drain on society, and thus open to derision and abuse. Or so it would seem.