Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toddler and Cinema - was I out of order?

184 replies

Eve4Walle · 23/08/2010 14:21

Today I decided to take DD (6) and DS (2.8) to the kids club at the cinema. Costs a fiver for all three of us, DH at work and little else to do, so although DS is young, I thought what the hell, if it only costs that, then if we have to leave early, then so be it. I also mistakenly felt that people would probably be more tolerant as well.

DS sat still for the first 40 minutes or so, but started getting fidgety after that, and when that happens, I know a tantrum isn't far behind, so I let him slip off his seat for a bit and he pottered about in front of me for about 5 minutes. We were right at the front with 4 empty aisles in front and then the screen. Behind me was a woman with three 6-9 year olds I'd say.

Anyway, DS was being quiet but he was walking about, just being curious, when lady behind me taps me on the shoulder and says 'Aren't you going to make him sit down?' I was a bit surprised and said 'he's 2, and is he disturbing you?' and she replied 'no, but he is being distracting'.

I knew straight away that we'd have to leave as DS wouldn't get any better and would be liable to start making actual noise, so I told DD to get her bag and prepare to leave. She wanted to know why we had to go and I gave her some line, and the woman behind tapped me again and said 'oh don't make her go'. I was shocked again and said we had to as it was obv an issue to her and got up and left. But I did tell her I hope she was pleased with herself on the way past.

Got outside, rang DH and had a blub as felt sorry for both my kids.

So, if you're still with me, was I in the wrong? Would my DS have bothered you by walking about and being quiet? Or should I have expected this?

OP posts:
activate · 23/08/2010 14:25

you should have taken ds outside the cinema screen to run off some steam letting dd enjoy the movie - possibly buy bribes to make him sit

but yes a 2 year old toddling around a cinema is distracting and not fair on other paying customers

activate · 23/08/2010 14:26

it's not a big deal but if I were you I'd chalk it down to experience - and next time plan better and take DS into foyer for a bit

misdee · 23/08/2010 14:28

its kids club cinema, i expect pottering about.

i dont like kicking of seats, loud talking, general loudness, or running up and down the aisles.

NoahAndTheWhale · 23/08/2010 14:29

I wouldn't ask someone if they were going to make their child sit down but it probably would annoy me tbh. Although it would annoy me less at a kids club showing where I hadn't spent so much money.

Firawla · 23/08/2010 14:29

i dont think i would have been bothered by it myself, shame you had to leave. see your point that people normally would have been a bit more tolerant being a cheap family screening. if paying full price then yes i can see why they may be annoyed, but not the case here

smellmycheese · 23/08/2010 14:29

URNBU

I dont think a two year old quietly wandering around in front of their mum would be too distracting. Its not like they're going to be showing some complicated film you have to concentrate on at a kids club is it?

If i went to a kids club cinema showing, I would expect there might be a bit of noise or distractions from kids. The clue is in the title!

grapesandmoregrapes · 23/08/2010 14:30

YABU A 2 year old is way too young for the cinema, and if he won't sit through the whole film then you shouldn't of taken him.

narna · 23/08/2010 14:31

i agree with activate and think you were rude to say that to the woman when YWBU .

AlgebraRocksMySocks · 23/08/2010 14:33

totally agree with cheese.

the other woman was being quite U... at age 6-9 as her lot were, the kids are quite old enough to go to the cinema any time of day really. it was my (perhaps wrong) assumption that these kiddy club things were more for younger kids!

theyoungvisiter · 23/08/2010 14:33

I don't think you can have kids roaming the aisles. Sorry. It would have bothered me too though I probably wouldn't have said anything.

I didn't take DS1 until he was 4 for that reason - I thought he wouldn't sit through the feature and it wouldn't be fair to other kids.

Having said that, I would have thought 6 years old was old enough to leave her in her seat while you gave your DS a runabout in the foyer and returned.

I also think you were a bit mean to the woman who complained - after all all she did was tell you your son was being a little distracting - she didn't ask you to leave, in fact she told you to stay - I presume when she tapped you again she wasn't interfering but rather meaning "don't go - it's not that big a deal".

Her comment sounds like she was trying to build bridges so saying "I hope you're pleased with yourself" was a little harsh IMO.

treas · 23/08/2010 14:34

Kids Cinema Club is just that for kids so you expect more noise and movement within reason.

Your DS wasn't raising a riot or kicking seats so I think the women behind you was a bit out of order - if he'd been screaming at the top of his lungs then that would have been another thing altogether.

swanandduck · 23/08/2010 14:34

In fairness, if you're at a kids club you have to assume there's going to be some toddlers running around and making noise. My view is alway that, as long as my kids aren't being distracted by it (and kids can tune out a lot of noise) then that's fine because the film isn't for me, it's for the children.

Fluffypoms · 23/08/2010 14:34

every kids club screenig we have been too there are toddlers playing.

thats the point of it being kids club isnt it?..

i wouldnt of had a problem.

onepieceoflollipop · 23/08/2010 14:34

You were both wrong imo. You for not having alternative strategies for occupying the 2.8 year old when you knew he was unlikely to sit through it all. Really unfair on your dd too. Some people would find him wandering about to be distracting.

Also it is unfair on other parents who have managed to gets their dcs to sit down. Other little dcs then start to complain that your little boy is permitted to wander about.

Also to say to another customer "hope you are pleased with yourself" is very rude. Where I live the way you and she spoke to each other could have resulted in a punch up!

Perhaps you could as someone else has suggested tried to distract him with a snack. Or perhaps left your dd while you went to the back of the cinema? We deliberately didn't take our 3 year old dd with our 6 year old for similar reasons. I took dd1 separately at the w'end.

louii · 23/08/2010 14:34

It's the kids club, there are always kids wandering and making noise, u should not have left.

NoahAndTheWhale · 23/08/2010 14:35

Thinking about it DS didn't go to the cinema until he was about 4.5. DD was 2.10 or so I think. When we first took them DH and I both went so we could remove either of them if necessary but luckily both were fine.

Had you taken your DS to the cinema before? I probably would have left in your position and would have been :( as well.

bonkerz · 23/08/2010 14:36

if it was the kids club then you were not in the wrong letting your DS walk about. we have been every week to the kids club over the summer and regularly have had toddlers running about and babies crying during performance. mine are 4,9 and 10 and it doesnt disturb them!

teameric · 23/08/2010 14:36

Eve I don't think you were in the wrong, like you said he was only wandering about, and its kidsclub ffs what does the woman expect. When I have taken DC's to the kidclub showing I usually expect a bit of distraction. Would feel different if I had paid full price though.

theyoungvisiter · 23/08/2010 14:39

Isn't the point of kids club that they show films for children? Not that it's a toddler free-for-all.

The kids club films are not on at other times so it's not reasonable to say older children should go at other times.

I think if a child isn't old enough to sit through a film, why take him to the cinema?

Maybe it varies from area to area but the kids club showings I've been to definitely haven't had children wandering around. Kids going to the loo and parents taking them out when they can't behave - yes. But not letting them walk up and down the aisles unchecked. I think anyone who did that would get tutted.

Sounds like it may be a difference of what you're used to though.

unfitmother · 23/08/2010 14:40

Sounds like six of one and half a dozen of the other IMHO.

ChippingIn · 23/08/2010 14:48

YANBU - it's kidsclub, as long as he was just wandering around a bit and not really running up and down or shouting then really... she was being overly precious. She could easily take her kids to another session.

I wouldn't have left, I would have tried to get DS to sit down but wouldn't have stressed over it.

I think you should have taken the olive branch she offered you when she said not to take DD out - ....

theladylovescupcakes · 23/08/2010 14:49

I agree with your reasoning behind taking little ones to a kids club showing. Surely everyone should be a bit more tolerant of kids shuffling around, etc. Also kids club showings are a helpful way of getting the little ones used to sitting still and getting used to what's expected of them during a trip to the cinema. I'd rather waste the cost of the kids club entry if the child can't sit through, rather than the £6 or 7 adult cost of a normal film showing.

Also i think you were pretty restrained with your retort to the woman.

sanielle · 23/08/2010 14:50

I think YABU, she wanted you to make your kid sit down because it was distracting her and possibly her children. SHe wasn't trying to be horrible because she felt bad you were taking them away and that your eldest was going to miss out. Then you were rude as you left.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout · 23/08/2010 14:51

You see the mistake you made there is thinking, that as it was a Kids' Club, that it was aimed at kids Hmm.

Here we have the Big Scream for ones and under and then kids club - obviously it doesn't say toddlers, so if you have a toddler - you obviously have no business even being in a cinema.

I'm with you - I'd've done exactly what you did and I'd've phoned my husband and cried as well. It really annoys me how judgemental people with kids can be. They've obviously forgtten what having a toddler is like - and some (like this lady) even feel superior that their children are older and they're through that stage.

Grrrrrr on your behalf.

LostArt · 23/08/2010 14:55

By what you described, I think you flounced rather than anyone telling you to leave. I think you knew he was never going to sit and watch the film and he was going to get more and more bored as time went on.

Put it down to experience and leave it a while before you try again. I would love to take mine to see toy story, but know that my 4 year old would never make it through the film without a major incident. For my own sanity and family reputation, i've decided to leave it for a little while longer!