Toddler and Cinema - was I out of order?

[Eve4Walle]

Today I decided to take DD (6) and DS (2.8) to the kids club at the cinema. Costs a fiver for all three of us, DH at work and little else to do, so although DS is young, I thought what the hell, if it only costs that, then if we have to leave early, then so be it. I also mistakenly felt that people would probably be more tolerant as well.

DS sat still for the first 40 minutes or so, but started getting fidgety after that, and when that happens, I know a tantrum isn't far behind, so I let him slip off his seat for a bit and he pottered about in front of me for about 5 minutes. We were right at the front with 4 empty aisles in front and then the screen. Behind me was a woman with three 6-9 year olds I'd say.

Anyway, DS was being quiet but he was walking about, just being curious, when lady behind me taps me on the shoulder and says 'Aren't you going to make him sit down?' I was a bit surprised and said 'he's 2, and is he disturbing you?' and she replied 'no, but he is being distracting'.

I knew straight away that we'd have to leave as DS wouldn't get any better and would be liable to start making actual noise, so I told DD to get her bag and prepare to leave. She wanted to know why we had to go and I gave her some line, and the woman behind tapped me again and said 'oh don't make her go'. I was shocked again and said we had to as it was obv an issue to her and got up and left. But I did tell her I hope she was pleased with herself on the way past.

Got outside, rang DH and had a blub as felt sorry for both my kids.

So, if you're still with me, was I in the wrong? Would my DS have bothered you by walking about and being quiet? Or should I have expected this?

She got the 'hump', as you put it, when someone told her how she should be controlling her child.

So long as he is not actually disturbing anyone then I can't see what the problem is. As you say it is kids club so IMO she should have been more tolerant.

I believe that's why the kids club showings are so cheap because a) people should expect a bit of disruption from younger children and be more tolerant because the tickets are cheaper and b) so that parents can whisk their children away once they start going over the line.

From what you describe it does not sound as if your DS went over that line, however if that was him after 40 minutes I don't think you would have made it to the end of the film anyway regardless of what the woman did or didn't say.

I think she was rude, but you were even ruder by what you said on your way out. Sorry it didn't work out for you must be hard to try to entertain a 6 year old and a 2 year old together.

"How are they supposed to learn the correct way of behaving if they are banished from being with other people?"

Most people can accomodate a degree of disruption and often enjoy having small dcs around ime. It's when people make no real effort to teach their dcs how to behave in restaurants/cinmas/theatres, nor any attempt to remove their dcs if their behaviour is irritating others, that people get pissed off (I am not including the OP in this btw - she knew her ds was about to act up and pre-empted it).

I'd have been disturbed and annoyed too, sorry, though I wouldn't have said anything, too much of a wimp.

I don't go to kid's club showings because I'm happy with lots of kids wandering around, I go because it makes it affordable for us. DD is older now, but we first went when she was around 3, and I told her beforehand that she sat in the seat and watched, anything else and she'd have been taken out.

I will accept that I'm not really a child friendly person though.

wow what wonderfully behaved children some posters on here must have(never annoy/irritate other people hmm...
This is precisely why there IS a KIDS club.I have 3 kids and have nonone to watch/help with them so what do I tell the oldest sorry you cant go to the cinema til you are 12 because other people might be disturbed by your younger siblings? bollocks to that. during the summer hols took aLL 3(7,4 and 14 month old) to kids club regularly.Youngest was usually fine for 1st 45 mins then get restless so would let him have a wander or take him up to the door. However plenty of other kids doing same and nobody was the slightest bit bothered.
When my dh was young the parents used to just drop kids off and leave(oh the horror!). If a women had spoken to me like that about my child she would have got short shrift.

Agree with lyns2. DS is active and for the first few films we went to he would get bored after about an hour or so and would move to the row in front of us or fidget for a bit.
Learnt a few coping strategies, we never go in until film is about to start, why on earth they expect children to sit through half an hour of trailers and advertising on top of the film is beyond me. We buy sweets, but ration them out based on good behaviour, if DS is getting obviously bored then we cut our losses and leave. Made easier by the fact that we don't have another DC with us.

However main point is DS is now 4 and can happily sit through a film. I don't think that the OPs child is overly boisterous or badly behaved and I don't think she reacted too badly. It's sad when the parent of an older child can't give a mother a break.

Kid's Club here is older films, that's why it's cheaper I thought.

If you want a new film it;s full proce.

We went to see Shrek Forever After the other week and paid full price. I was expecting carnage and to get very tutty.

There were 15 people max in the Cinema, it was fab!

Am considering Marmaduke on Saturday for DD's birthday.

Jenai not really sure why you copied and pasted my sentence. Not really sure what point you are trying to make, there.

Anytime I've been to the kids club its a kids film, jings you can fall asleep for half an hour and not miss the plot!

If anyones toddler is acting up I think - jings thank god its not my child!

I have left the cinema at a non kids club film when my toddler wouldn't sit, leaving my six year old to finish watching it himself (popping my head in every two minutes which was probably more annoying)

"I don't go to kid's club showings because I'm happy with lots of kids wandering around, I go because it makes it affordable"

Exactly. So children whose parents can't afford to take them to full price showings don't deserve to be able to watch a film with minimal disruption? Like I said before, the ticket price is irrelevant.

• Again this isn't really aimed at the OP - I get the impression she did act to stop her ds from disrupting the screening.

It's the figgin kids club of course it's ok if little ones get a bit distracted! That's why it only costs a quid to go in.

What, was she afraid she'd miss the intricacies of the plot of Shrek or something?

You totally over-reacted and flounced out, being rude as you went. Nobody made you leave. If you were comfortable in your idea that it was a suitable time and place for your toddler to be making noise, you wouldn't have left. The fact that you decided to leave means you weren't.
Obvious really. She might have been U speaking to you in the first place, but you were more so.

thereis I was expressing my opinion wrt your question about how dcs are meant to learn how to behave if they're not allowed into cinemas etc.

:) women was obviously trying to make a point about her little darlings sitting perfectly!

Well exactly Jenai, and not all kids are toddlers!
My 8yr old would like to watch the film without a bunch of wandering toddlers around.

Perhaps the small children who can't sit still or shush could go to the baby screenings cinemas have?

I appreciate it's hard on older ones when you have toddlers too, but tough, the cinema is about sitting watching a film.

am ready for my flaming now because I am a mother who lets kids run riot.....

Yes - that much I gathered - just couldn't see the relevance considering your following statement. But maybe I being dim.

mugg if you don't want to see toddlers at the cinema, maybe go to the full price showing?

OMG at mugglewump would you say that to a single parent? oh well tough you cant take kids to cinema as havent got lovely dh to take them out/help? trying to accomodate needs of 3 kids not easy at best of times and not helped by attitudes like this.
The child was not screaming head off or throwing full scale tantrum he was having a wee wander FFS!
btw my earlier post was being sarcastic in case you didnt get it(seems to a serious lack of sense of humour on this thread).

YANBU. It was a kids club. You took your kids. I think that unless your ds was making noise, this woman should have just kept her mouth shut. Her complaining probably disturbed more people in the cinema than your toddler did.

Muggglewump the baby screenings don't show childrens films. They are aimed at adults with babies who will sleep through the film. Remembers happy days viewing The Devil wears Prada and such like.

rookie - the op was on about kids club, not mother and baby cinema though - the kids club shows kids films and is cheaper, because it's full of noisy kids.

I can understand people getting distracted, but I think it takes a monumentally dense person to think that "Kids Club" means "angelic babes sitting in silence, enthralled by the cinematic genius before them".

Whilst you may have been a little bit U in leaving so quickly, I understand your reasons for doing so. I think it's great that you're introducing the cinema to your toddler - we did the same with our DS (now almost 4) and he loves it... and sits in his sit, though did have a bit of an "oh no!"/cheering session when we took him to Toy Story 3.

Yes but mugglewump suggested that the OP took her DC to the baby showing instead, was trying to explain why this wasn't suitable.