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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toddler and Cinema - was I out of order?

184 replies

Eve4Walle · 23/08/2010 14:21

Today I decided to take DD (6) and DS (2.8) to the kids club at the cinema. Costs a fiver for all three of us, DH at work and little else to do, so although DS is young, I thought what the hell, if it only costs that, then if we have to leave early, then so be it. I also mistakenly felt that people would probably be more tolerant as well.

DS sat still for the first 40 minutes or so, but started getting fidgety after that, and when that happens, I know a tantrum isn't far behind, so I let him slip off his seat for a bit and he pottered about in front of me for about 5 minutes. We were right at the front with 4 empty aisles in front and then the screen. Behind me was a woman with three 6-9 year olds I'd say.

Anyway, DS was being quiet but he was walking about, just being curious, when lady behind me taps me on the shoulder and says 'Aren't you going to make him sit down?' I was a bit surprised and said 'he's 2, and is he disturbing you?' and she replied 'no, but he is being distracting'.

I knew straight away that we'd have to leave as DS wouldn't get any better and would be liable to start making actual noise, so I told DD to get her bag and prepare to leave. She wanted to know why we had to go and I gave her some line, and the woman behind tapped me again and said 'oh don't make her go'. I was shocked again and said we had to as it was obv an issue to her and got up and left. But I did tell her I hope she was pleased with herself on the way past.

Got outside, rang DH and had a blub as felt sorry for both my kids.

So, if you're still with me, was I in the wrong? Would my DS have bothered you by walking about and being quiet? Or should I have expected this?

OP posts:
KiwiKat · 23/08/2010 16:47

the unkind remark was uncalled for.

Original poster
Eve4Walle · 23/08/2010 16:52

Kiwi - I don't think it was an unkind remark. An unkind remark in my opinion would have been 'Shut the f**k up you miserable old witch'.

The film was Furry Vengeance with the delightful Brendan Fraser (carrying a bit more weight than when I last saw a film of his).

OP posts:
Opinionatedfreak · 23/08/2010 16:59

I think it was an unkind remark and would ahve been pretty pissed off if you had made it to me.

I also think you were BU to allow your son to wander around in front of the screen even though it was a kids showing.

Could you not have taken him outside to run off some steam and then come back in leaving your DD to watch (or in the mass hysteria that is mumsnet do bad things happen to unaccompanied kids in a cinema with their mother and sibling outside?).

Or alternatively you could have resorted to food bribery. In my world that always buys an extra 20 mins or so of sitting down quietly.

serenity · 23/08/2010 17:00

Odeon Kids Club is £1.75 (adults go free with the child). Vue is 95p (but everyone pays)

If I take the DCs to the cinema and pay full rate (or even the cheapy Tuesday £5 rate) I expect the other children in the cinema to be reasonably quiet, and not wander about.

If we go to the Kids Club showings, I expect family groups with toddlers wandering about, a certain degree of noise and to have people wandering to and from the toilet every 5 minutes or so. I thought this was a pretty common expectation? It's how it always is in our local cinemas!

OP shouldn't have left the cinema so defensively, but other woman shouldn't have been so fussy about OPs wandering DS (I can't believe she was actually watching it... I usually just doze Grin)

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 23/08/2010 17:00

I suppose they don't tend to show The Seventh Seal at Kids Club showings Grin

Eve please do try to get to the cinema again - it's doable and it seems a shame for your dd to miss out. As others have suggested, sitting near the exit can be a good strategy.

I do think you were a leetle bit over sensitive - and you did flounce. Of course I've never flounced in real life and ended up cutting off my nose to spite my face. Ever.. Wink

BonniePrinceBilly · 23/08/2010 17:03

2 is too young if they can't sit down. The point of going to the cinema is to watch a film, is it not? Ask yourself a simple question...are my children preventing people from watching/enjoying the film they have paid to see. If they are, they shouldn't be there. If they want to run around and shout, bring them to a playground, not a cinema.

Original poster
Eve4Walle · 23/08/2010 17:06

How many more times shall I say this? He wasn't shouting, he was being perfectly quiet!

OP posts:
violethill · 23/08/2010 17:08

Running around at the front of the cinema is still distracting though, even if done quietly.

BonniePrinceBilly · 23/08/2010 17:10

Then why did you leave? Hmm Nobody asked you to leave, in fact they asked you not to! So why did you flounce if you were doing nothing at all wrong?

BelligerentGhoul · 23/08/2010 17:11

You were being unreasonable.

If children go to the cinema, they should be able to sit still - even if that means bribing them with raisins or something!

You shouldn't have let him wander around and there was no need for you to leave - you over-reacted. telling her that you hoped she was 'pleased with herself' was just childish and rude. YOU made the decision that you leave, not her!

rainbowinthesky · 23/08/2010 17:11

I think you overeacted by leaving. A child this age at a showing of a childrens film especially with an older sibling wouldnt bother me. Adults talking bothers me and a toddler toddling around during a film too old for it would.

wouldliketoknow · 23/08/2010 17:11

how many 2 yo you know able to sit still for 1.5 h?

eve, kids club is for kids, evening movies are for quiet adults, if kids shouldn't go to the evening show, a quiet adult shouldn't go to the kids club

laurely · 23/08/2010 17:12

I think the only bit you were unreasonable was in your parting shot, not called for tbh

Having said that sounds like your child was being a normal toddler and i would not have complained. :)

Mrsdoasyouwouldbedoneby · 23/08/2010 17:15

Kids club (£1 everyone), here means being able to take youger siblings with older children, so noise is a given tho mostly not). I see it as a way to have the cinema experience, learn about HOW to behave in a cinema (and not doing it on the first go is likely, so a practice is a good idea).

I'd have been embarrassed my child was wandering around, but probably not left.

Niether was being very UR

Rocky12 · 23/08/2010 17:15

The cinema is no place for a 2 year old tbh. It constantly shocks me how young children 3-6 are being taken to films such as Clash of the Titans, Salt etc which are 12A's. The Medusa's head being ripped off her body was particularly memorable in Clash of the Titans....
Sorry, slight off topic!

ShinyAndNew · 23/08/2010 17:16

All those who are saying she was being unreasonable, has clearly never visited the kids showings at our Cinema. When I said it was like visiting the zoo I wasn't exaggerating.

I took dd1 and dd2 last year, when they 5 and 2. After about half an hour dd2 went walk about. I went to grab her when the woman behind me said "She is fine, leave her, she is playing with my two and a few more" When I looked there was a group of about 7 toddlers all munching on giant tub of popcorn in the corner and giggling at each other.

It seems they let the younger ones all congregate together to allow the older ones and their parents to watch the film in peace with out having to remind little George and Eliza to sit still and be quiet.

TotorosOcarina · 23/08/2010 17:17

but non of those would be shown at kids club rocky,

so surely its the place to take young children?!

mummytime · 23/08/2010 17:22

"The cinema is no place for a 2 year old tbh. It constantly shocks me how young children 3-6 are being taken to films such as Clash of the Titans, Salt etc which are 12A's. The Medusa's head being ripped off her body was particularly memorable in Clash of the Titans....
Sorry, slight off topic!"

Sorry this is massively off topic as it was Kids club, which shows only Us (or maybe a very occasional risky PG).

I'm just waiting for someone to start to complain about the babies at Odeon Newbie showings. (And they do show 12s or worse there.)

blackberryway · 23/08/2010 17:25

I don't think it was unreasonable to let him toddle about but it was probably distracting for the woman's children as well herself if they were enjoying the film. I don't understand why you had to make your dd leave if she didn't want to and the woman said there was no need - sounds like you just wanted to make her feel guilty which definitely is U.

AlgebraRocksMySocks · 23/08/2010 17:42

I still reckon if she was going to be that bothered about little kids running around then she shouldn't have gone to the kids showing, as her lot were old enough to go to a regular showing IMHO.

muggglewump · 23/08/2010 17:44

Why do kids have to practice? (practise?, I never know which it is)

Take them to the cinema young so they can practice behaving?

What is that all about?

Why not wait until you are fairly sure they'll do as expected, and remove them if they don't?

As I keep reading this thread, it seems that Kids Club Cinema in other places is the newest film, but cheaper. As I have said, here, it's old films. It means I can afford to take DD to the cinema.

And remember, kids does not just mean wandering toddlers. It also means my 8yr old who is getting a very rare treat and would like to watch the film, and will be upset if she's distracted.
If we wanted that, I'd download the film and dance in front of the TV!

Kids do not need practice in every situation, I'm quite sure most parents know when their kids are ready, and if they are not, don't take them, or be prepared to remove them, so my kid can have her treat without yours ruining it.

sorrento56 · 23/08/2010 17:44

YWNBU.

I wouldn't have been bullied into leaving though.

cupcakesandbunting · 23/08/2010 17:47

You weren't being U until the "I hope you're happy" in my opinion.

She sounds like a bit of a twat for hissying about kids in a kids showing,erm, acting like kids. But when you said that remark (not that it's particularly offensive or bitchy) it might have made you look a bit hysterical.

Personally, I would have been much more passive-aggressive and scooped DCs up, muttering loudly and asking DS how dare he behave like this in a kid's club screening, didn't he know that he must behave like he is at the opera fgs.

Then I would have planted them at the back and told them to use her head as popcorn target practice. Grin (joke)

BelligerentGhoul · 23/08/2010 17:47

'Bullied into leaving' - erm...that's really not what happened though, is it?

frasersmummy · 23/08/2010 17:53

sernity £1.75??? where are you ??