to think this is actually serious neglect

[scatteredbraincells]

DD (almost 15) has been working all hours under the sun during the summer to save up for a trip she wants to go to (and has made me very proud [boasting emoticon])

A neighbour asked her if she'd babysit for them this week, as their childminder had had an accident and was in hospital (she's gonna be ok). 9 hours a day, 7am to 4pm, takes 3yo to nursery at 7.30, looks after 18month old, picks up 3yo at 3pm, pretty straighforward stuff. The family has been living next door for 6 years, we know them quite a bit, have BBQs together etc.

DD went for her first day today and has just called me very upset and doesn't know what to do. Apparently when she arrived 3yo was all dressed so she started dressing 18mo for the school run, mum was still there and said "oh, don't bother with him". DD assumed mum was gonna be there until she went back, but she got back to find the baby all alone cryin hysterically to the point of throwing up. She called the mum and the mum said "don't worry, it's what we noramlly do, it's only 15 minutes and he's used to it. A bit of cryin never hurt anybody".

Now I don't know what to do. First of all, apart from cruel I think it's also dangerous to leave such a young child alone in the house, 15 or 20 minutes is a very long time. Secondly, I don't want DD involved if something were to happen.

AIBU and where do I go from here?

IN THE CHILD'S OWN HOME = NOT CMING

But my point about the daughter is that she´s not old enough to be a nanny/childminder as she is still at school iyswim.

I agree that leaving the 18month old regularly is more the issue.

Hope OP comes back & tells us the outcome.

Am curious also to know if the daughter is still working for the neighbour.

Altinkum - are you a social worker?

scatteredbraincells - how did it go with your neighbour yesterday?

I cannot believe it is not against the law to leave 18month old alone for 15mins. There are no safety measures you can put in place to stop a baby from crying soooo much that he chockes on his own vomit. That is so wrong.

I would not let my dd work for them again, not because the law says she is too young, but because I would not want my child involved in this atall...

Also another poster said could you possibly help out when your dd takes the 3year old to school? I would never offer to help them out, they need to get this issue sorted out...

Look it is not complicated!

It is #7 on here.

Registration is not required if you provide care for children in their own home.

The 14 day rule is only an exemption if it is applied for 14 days before the childcare commences.

Don't social workers have to do CPD!

Please if you don't know the rules and think they are "complicated" don't just post up incorrect information willy nilly - your profession (which you have disclosed) means that people will be more likely to believe that you know what you are posting about.

Going back to the original question, the rules are all very well, but the OP has to live with these neighbours next door and deal with a difficult situation.

If it were me, I would allow her DD to carry on babysitting because it is only for a week, it's only next door and she is a sensible 15 year old. However I would go across and sit with the toddler for the duration of the nursery run because it's just not safe no matter what anyone says to leave such a little one alone even for 15 minutes.

I'd get the week over with and then have a word with the parents. Rather than just criticising them, I'd offer a solution. Perhaps the OP's DD is prepared to sit in with the baby every morning for 15 minutes for some pocket money.

PueriSimilisCanis - as far as the law is concerned it is.

OP, any news?

sorry should have quoted "confusing" and not "complicated".

Will you send the ofstead link to the course tutors?

Hi Scattered, I know you've found yourself in a horrible situation here, but for the little boy I'm glad you found out. Good on you for having the guts to speak to her.

I am not trying to go down a blame route. If I see incorrect advice/info on a thread then (if I've got time - I will correct it).

I have referred to OP's daughter as a "babysitter" - this is what she is. She is not set up in business as a "nanny".

The fact that the ofstead guidelines refer to evening work as "babysittng" is because that is the colloquial term for it.

However that is irrelevant - neither of these terms I don't believe are defined in law.

OP - where are you?

altkinmum, the op dd isn't underage to babysit. She is babysitting. It is occasional care in the home of the child.
Sites such as childcare.co.uk have people advertising as babysitters and do not seem to be restricted to the hours which you give.

In the situation described in op, the concerns I would have are that they are long hours for a 14yo to have sole responsibility for an 18mo without the back up of someone 16y or over. But that is a personal issue and not illegal.

As regards leaving an 18mo completely alone for 15mins then while it isn't something that I would do and which I think is a risk too far and morally not right, I think it's a grey area legally and depends on precautions taken to minimise risks and whether they were adequate.

Meant to add Ask the police with regard to legal age of babysitting.

i got a bit confused there. is it babysitting only between the hours of 6pm and 2 am, then ? that can't be right, can it ?

Can't wait for OP to get back to us, with more info. bet there are more grizzly details. my mind is running overtime now. when Op contacted relevant authorities, it now transpires that there is alot more to this and .........
better than jessica fletcher, this, isn't it ?

funny, I always thought that there was a law saying you couldn't leave an under 12 in the house alone. Having said that am sure I'm wrong, it is just a vague memory from my own childhood. And my mother would leave us when we were 10 or so to pop to the shops, which was fine.

But 18 months is around the worst age to be left, surely - fully mobile but still a baby in terms of judgement...

And I don't think OP needs to offer this woman a solution: surely normal parents just take the LO along on the School run too? Have only one child at the moment but can't imagine not doing that!

Glad you have had a chat OP and sorry you are having to deal with this, but am glad for the little boy's sake that you are.

Anyway........ babysitting/childminding, whatever.....

Is the baby OK? What has happened? Can we have an update please Scattered?

I've been watching this thread with interest, and I have to say I find it interesting that a thread where a very concerned op posted about a very small child being left alone in a house for quite a long period of time, has turned into a thread debating the terminology of childminding bs babysitting!

Don't get me wrong, I agree that is a subject worth discussion, but let's get a bit of perspective. This woman may have chosen to ask a teenager to watch her kids, but she's also regularly leaving a helpless child alone in a house. Which problem do you think we should be focussing on?