shit-stained pants left on kitchen floor

[YesBut]

Am I unreasonable to find this offensive?

Read my post back and it sounds angry - didn't mean to come across that way, I am just worried for you and your babies.

I used to live with a man that constantly accused me of flirting, wouldn't 'allow' me to go to the shop at the end of the street (in case I had the audacity to look at any men) and was gradually working up to hitting me. We would have huge rows anytime I didn't agree with him, or indeed had any opinion at all. If I did disagree with him about anything, or say something like, 'I think we should pay the electricity bill' this came under the heading of Giving Him Shit, which I must not do, ever. Unforgivable. Especially complaining about him spending all my wages on heroin, that was Giving Him Shit About Having A Good Time With His Mates.

What a cunt. I'm glad I left him.

I have to say if my best mate had this going on and turned up on my doorstep, I would welcome her in and give her whatever help she needed in contacting women's aid and getting rehoused. Might have to squeeze us all in to my 3 bed semi though, but I'll take the sofa, dh can go in with dd and that'll leave the double bed and a single free.

he wouldn't let you pay bills? omg, that is so familiar!

Well paying bills would use up valuable drug money... Also any money he got, he spent on shite for himself, while I paid rent and whatever bills I could pay before he stole the money from my purse. He refused to work, I did overtime to keep things ticking over. And this is age 19 until I was 24, when I could have been having a good time, holidays, festivals, instead I spent it in an abusive relationship and in the fog of heroin addiction... SOrry for the hijack, just want to emphasise - do not waste another year, and another, and another, on him.

Promise me!

I can't wasteany more time, I have now been with him over half my life

I used to get told off forwanting to pay bills, had bailiffs round, I was so scared.

but I'm sitting heretrying to fight back the tears (still got 3 kids awake) because it all seems insurmountable andI don't have the strength, having been ground down for years and had bouts of depression andeating disorders

Has he isolated you from your friends, YesBut?

yesbut, for god's sake, for the love of your DC, get the hell out of there.

No wonder you have had bouts of depression and eating disorders sweets.

It's not unsurmountable, honestly.

Not isolated from friends but didn't dare haveany for years because he has a tendency to go off on bigotted rants and I didn't want people to think I was like him. Still don't have people round here though...shit-stained pants not the best ice breaker

Is clouddragon still about?

You do need to tell someone in RL then. More than likely it will not have gone unnoticed that he is a prize wanker and they will probably be relieved you want to leave and will help you out.

I do have RL friends who know. Onehas said we can go and stay foraslong as we need, but descending on someone with 4 kids is no small matter, and my elder 2 esp swear a lot (cos thsat'swhat they hear from their dad) andI think it would be hard and try a good friendship, being realistic.

Ha! Dittany, I wason the rebound, just split up with a born again Christian (who thought I was possessed and had his friends pray over me) and suppose I was drawn to a complete opposite. PlusI really needed to stop living with my mum.

Swearing in front of her young children though. My eldest has attitude probs atm.