shit-stained pants left on kitchen floor

[YesBut]

Am I unreasonable to find this offensive?

Go no! Just when you say, " I want to break up," and you are told, "don't start this nonsense again," it's not easy.

turn away if squeamish....I assume he doesn't wipe ,then he wears same pants for a week or more

sorry, that should say "doesn't wipe PROPERLY" !

and indeed "god no" not "go no"

Leave him a pack of baby wipes and a bottle of bleach as a Get Lost Present

uergh. Take a picture and tell him to never do it again or they get tagged on facebook!

Well if he's not listening to you then I'm afraid you are going to have to find somewhere else to live. Harness the power of Mumsnet ... you will get lots of help.

Get one of those big cheap carrier bags with a zip in the top from the pound shop and fling all his filthy clothes in there and leave it in his room, for starters. Absolutely no more washing for him from today on.

You could be gone in a couple of weeks if you get yourself organised.

Whose house is it? Have you tried CAB for advice? Why doesn't he take you seriously?
Do you have children together?

You are not still washing his clothes? Please tell me you're not.

Leaving them in his room would be too kind imo. I would bin every item of dirty clothing left lying around.

Your situation sounds unbearable. Listen to bibbity and get out of there. You poor thing

You know, you do not deserve to be treated like this. You deserve respect. And you are NOT being petty, and this situation is NOT your fault.

erm, is it your house? if not, why don't you just move out?

Also, I'd be throwing them shitty side down in his face and telling him to a)wipe is arse properly and b) to do his own washing.

Oh Yuck.

Don't wash them. Just put them back in his drawer [we so need an evil grin emoticon]

Utter scumbag. Were you expected to toilet train him as well?

I love the facebook tagging idea. Genius.

rented house, joint tenancy. 4 kids. Not easy to move out without much money, plus I desperately want to stay in the village. Am waiting for any rentable properties to come up.

But thewhole situation is so huge, I just want to cry.

My aunties ex smeared shit all over her new sofa. Nice.

I think you should have a bloody big cry, its an awful situation, and then start getting practical.

The first thing you absolutely must do is stop doing his laundry.

Do you have parents/anyone who can loan you the money for a deposit and rent in advance on a new place?

If you are really desperate to get away from him you might have to compromise a little bit on your location.

And that is relevant, how, juney?

Don't leave sweetie, he needs to leave.
Are the children his? And do they go to school in the village?
Is there a chance he will try to keep the children or will he let you keep them - they should be able to stay in the family home.
Is it a housing association?
they should help you.
Do make a CAB appointment please.

If I piss him off, he will shout more at the kids. And it makes for v bad atmosphere.
Daren't do anything til the end is in sight.

I have friends who will lend me money.

From sept I have to get kids to 3 different schools, which iseasiest from here.

Get to the CAB - you need to get out of that house. Or get him out (would your landlord let you change the locks and take over the tenancy on your own?)

I nneed to keep things civilised for thesake of the kids. If no kids were involved, I would just walk out.

have been to CAB, they think I should use domestic abuseangle to get rehoused, I wouldrather not

You say you daren't do anything....so you are a victim of abuse in my book.
If he shouts at the children this is verbal abuse.
Please let the law help you. A housing association should protect you and the children from his abuse.

Yesbut, these pants are the tip of the iceberg aren't they?

Burn the pants, if he so much as raises his voice again at at the DC, tell him to leave, or you will call the Police.

Then at least you can get the authorities to help you get him out of your home.

he is abusing you, you and yourDC are being help to ransom somehow....