Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand why party bags are the done thing......

205 replies

mistletoekisses · 07/08/2010 08:13

So DS1 turns 3 in just over a month. At his request, we are having his nursery friends invited to this one, having just done close family until now.

Before actually hosting a party, I have always been firmly against the whole party bag concept - when I was a child, you got a piece of cake and a balloon and off you went. Am planning to do the same for DS party.

AIBU? Is the party bag thing so mainstream now that it will look realy odd not to do it?

OP posts:
everydayinMK · 08/08/2010 22:53

I used to chuck out all the plastic junk DS1 brought home from every birthday party or it would litter our kitchen floor for several weeks once played with.

Now I hoard our year's worth of tat party-bag goodies and recycle them at Halloween for appreciative Trick or Treaters.

gtamom · 09/08/2010 00:46

I am in my 50's and always received party bags when I was a child.

The kids love them, you can put a few dollar store presents like bubbles, stickers, and a treat like a rice krispie square if money is an issue.

aloiseb · 09/08/2010 00:46

When my dd was 9 (one October) she had a Makeover party, so for the party bags we used items from a Claires Accessories sale bag. I think I bought about 5 sale bags for £3 each (they are more now, unfortunately)
You can't see what is in them but I just opened them in private, kept back anything lovely for DD and friends for Xmas presents Wink adn then divided up the rest for the party bags. There were some chocolates as well I think, incase anybody had had quite enough of makeovers by the end of the party (I certanily had).

I also made sure to buy very tough cake - Lidl's marvellous bombproof Ring Cake, which I decorated in rollout icing.(as a hat, if anyone's interested). So I don't think anything got smeared on anybody's car interior on the way home!

Go Claire's Accessories and Lidl say I! Blush
(and bother the high earning parents who had their kids have a makeover party in the first place, thus starting the trend...)

Mrsshakespeare · 09/08/2010 08:47

Hate to say it but NO,NO,NO to party bags!!!!! I just don't see the point and think they are a waste of money and I think it teaches our kids to expect gifts. All the kids at my childs party get cake , balloon and what ever prizes they win. I also don't put a sweet in each wrapping of the pass the parcel, there can be only one winner, as in so many things in life!!
This makes me sound a real party pooper but I'm not. I love kids parties and try and make my childs as fun as poss. I would rather spend a bit more on something at the party rather than waste it on party bags. People also get competitive which is so sad. The kids should be happy because they are at the party, that is their treat. They don't need presents as it isn't their birthday.
My child never asks where her party bag is as she would never be so rude and neither would she presume.
Its also an expense I can't afford.
Sorry but its just the way I feel, I feel everything has become so materialistic.

Morloth · 09/08/2010 09:12

The kids didn't even notice that we didn't hand them out at the 2 parties I have given, no tears.

mycarscallednev · 09/08/2010 09:43

The part of the party that sends me into bar-humbug mode! It seems that The Party Bag can just be another bloody status thing, How Good Is Your Party Bag.com! We now get balloons filled with helium and attach a toy [sorry, but usually a Hot-Wheels car for the boys and either a basic 'crafty' thing or hair clips etc for the girls.]- to the ribbon as a weight. They pootle off home with the balloon in one hand a cake in the other, job done!
Can't be doing with the 'look at what I have in my Party Bag, it's a Tiffany Heart Necklace' thing,[well it's never been quite that Glam] but after more years of Birthday Parties than I care to think about, it's getting worse each year, AHHHH!!!!!

coraltoes · 09/08/2010 10:09

oh a slice of cake, pot of bubbles, sparly pencil and a balloon is hardly going to kill anyone is it, and puts a smile on a little face. Hardly a big deal.

flyingboat · 09/08/2010 11:43

I agree coraltoes - 'spread a little happiness'

hannahthespanner · 09/08/2010 12:28

I didn't do party bags for my son as i think they cost a lot and are full of crap!
I went to poundland and bought wooden cricket sets and baseball sets and wrapped them up with a bag of sweets! Cost a lot less than doing party bags.

Mrsshakespeare · 09/08/2010 13:19

Have to say that I think the party itself is' spreading a little happiness' or are we just becoming a society of 'gimme, gimme, gimme'!!!!

BabyGiraffes · 09/08/2010 13:27

My oldest is only 3 and no we did not have party bags at her birthday and I have no intention of introducing them next year (but may be bullied into it I guess). Yes, I am mean Grin
Oh, and what's this thing with wrapping up a piece of cake in a tissue that gets soggy and putting that in the bag. No one every eats a squashed piece of cake with paper towel stuck to it! I'd rather eat the cake at the party itself - that's sense to me....

MerryMarigold · 09/08/2010 14:30

Not sure I can manage to read 7 pages about party bags, but if the OP's still reading...I have been to several parties where a kids got a gift and a piece of cake. One party they got a nice, big colouring book (too big for a little bag) and at the other a lovely 'beanbag' snake...they could choose which one they wanted. Ds1 didn't mind in the least, he was excited about the present - but he was 3-4yrs old.

drymartini · 09/08/2010 14:41

I hate them with a passion. It's just landfill.
I just steel the contents from them when the kids get back from parties and 'put them away in a safe place' along with all the tat from my mil's cheapo crackers at Christmas.
And then they magically all appear again in our party bags.
You know, Reduce, reuse etc...

lynnexxxo · 09/08/2010 15:11

I decided two years ago to be a cheapskate eco friendly and make the party bags out of toys from my sons overflowing toy box. Not big things, just little cars and the like that he would never notice used to be his.

Well he did notice. And almost barricaded the front door as everyone was going home with 'his toys'.

Suffice to say I learned my lesson and now give plastic crap.

SweetKate · 09/08/2010 15:53

I hate them but still do them.

DS went to a school friends 5th birthday party. At the end they all got given a balloon and a book. DS and his friend went to the boys mum and asked where their cake and party bags were. Me and friends mum were mortified but in the school playground on the Monday were reassured that all the other children had thought the same and had gone home disappointed. Only my son and his friend had the balls to say anything! Party was in January - DS and friend still remark on it.

BadPoet · 09/08/2010 16:23

I do them, and the contents have ranged from paper bags & individually chosen wooden toys (that would have been PFB's 2nd Grin ) to polythene loot bags filled with plastic tat from Asda (hastily arranged party for 2nd child's 4th). All the guests have always loved them.

flyingboat · 09/08/2010 16:29

I agree some kids are 'gimme gimme gimme' - as are their parents! - I try to teach my kids that giving can bring just as much happiness as receiving, and I'm not just talking party bags!

poshsinglemum · 09/08/2010 16:57

I like them. Cheap, plastic tat dosn't nevessarily break either. I had mini bubble pots, bouncy balls, raisins and balloons in mine.

poshsinglemum · 09/08/2010 17:01

Ok- I don't like plastic tat but most kids do. There must be tons of biodegradable part bag treats available such as crayons, note books, chocolate etc.

Follyfoot · 09/08/2010 17:07

NO to party bags here too. Give 'em a bit of cake, a balloon and let them do a lucky dip into a big bag of treat sized choc bars.

Not got time to weave my own party bags or grind wode to make ink to write names on them. If the visiting kids' teeth fall out because I gave them a bit of cholate, so be it Grin

Original poster
mistletoekisses · 09/08/2010 17:40

I am still reading. Loving some of the ideas and links btw. Have been shamed into doing them by all your stories.

Love the idea of mini treasure hunt ending in tokens that are taken to one of us for party bags/ cue to leave. We were going to have 30 mins at the end with nothing planned and that fills that time perfectly!

OP posts:
Mrsshakespeare · 09/08/2010 18:25

Flying boat your right, thats whyI try and give the best party I can and instead of a party bag I gave each child a beautiful cupcake. The kids talked more about them and infact I heard only one child mention a party bag!!! I have never given party bags and my kid has never been taunted about the lack of!!

Mrsshakespeare · 09/08/2010 18:29

Mistletoekisses
Why are you shamed???
I am sure you are a fab mum and give great parties which your children and those invited love!!
Why feel shame that you don't do what everyone else does?

porcupine11 · 09/08/2010 19:10

gwenner, yours sound amazing, like what my mum used to do in the 80s/early 90s. I'm so looking forward to doing that when my sons are old enough and I'm glad to hear it can be done for boys as well as girls! My mum used to sew gorgeous bags that all my and my sisters friends could keep, and always around a theme.

surprisenumber3 · 09/08/2010 19:51

After 11 years of party bags I have had enough of them (and they usually worked out expensive).
In my little town you can have a few sweets wrapped in cellophone and ribbon which look really pretty, for 50p, and another shop does a big plain latex helium filled balloon on a pretty string for 50p. I usually get the bag of sweets for each child, use the balloons for the party and given them one to take when they go home.