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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not understand why party bags are the done thing......

205 replies

mistletoekisses · 07/08/2010 08:13

So DS1 turns 3 in just over a month. At his request, we are having his nursery friends invited to this one, having just done close family until now.

Before actually hosting a party, I have always been firmly against the whole party bag concept - when I was a child, you got a piece of cake and a balloon and off you went. Am planning to do the same for DS party.

AIBU? Is the party bag thing so mainstream now that it will look realy odd not to do it?

OP posts:

Olifin · 07/08/2010 10:39

sanielle I'm probably a mean old git but I just think 'that's life'. I don't want my children to expect anything other than a good time and a bit of food when they attend someone else's party. They can learn to take pleasure from seeing a friend enjoy their 'orgy of gifts' without feeling hard done by, IMO. Giving presents is a joy; seeing a friend enjoying their birthday is a joy.

Olifin · 07/08/2010 10:41

No child has ever questioned or complained about the lack of party bag from my house. If they did, I would laugh it off and politely explain that, in our house, it's the birthday boy/girl that gets presents on the birthday...'any anyway, we've all had a lovely time, haven't we?'

DuelingFanjo · 07/08/2010 10:47

I am SOOOOOO looking forward to being the 'odd' one when I have my baby. No party bags for me and definitely no big birthday parties at 1, 2 etc.

I find the whole idea really bizzare!

BrightLightBrightLight · 07/08/2010 10:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flyingboat · 07/08/2010 10:50

I don't see the harm in party bags, the kids love them - and who are the parties for? after all you don't have to fill them with plastic tat and cake is much better in a bag! There are some great sites that sell 'no plastic tat' and I always try to fill with stuff that I know will be used - last time I put hand made ribbies clippies from an online store, a sticker sheet and slice of cake.

ArthurPewty · 07/08/2010 10:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stuckey · 07/08/2010 10:54

Party bags are rubbish. The cake gets eaten, the rest gets chucked. Waste of time IMO.

BalloonSlayer · 07/08/2010 11:04

I love doing party bags. I always try to make them have things in that aren't tat . . . although they probably still are

I always thought the real pupose of party bags was to ensure that the children didn't make a fuss about having to go home - going home becomes Good. Because you Get A Party Bag.

mamadiva · 07/08/2010 11:05

DS recently went to a nursery birthday party and instead of a party bag the little boys mum gave out a £1 football to all the kids which DS and all his friends thought was great as did I because it meant not having to worry about when I was going to secretly bin all the crap that comes in a party bag!

ChasingSquirrels · 07/08/2010 11:10

have never understood why the cake doesn't get eaten AT the party.

Morloth · 07/08/2010 11:17

I don't do party bags and I hate DS getting the fucking things, full of junk that breaks and I have to throw out. Why don't people just buy some useless crap and chuck it in the bin at their place saving me the trouble?

Can you tell I don't like party bags?

Original poster

mistletoekisses · 07/08/2010 11:25

Hi - thanks for all the responses.

My issue with the party bag is mainly what a lot of other posters have said. They are filled with cheap tat that gets chucked away. What is the point?

I will have a chat with my DH about it, but am fully prepared to answer 'where is my party bag' with we are a balloon and cake house. Am baking cupcakes. They can have one at the party and another wrapped up home with a balloon.

Yes it is about what the children like to some extent, but I also expect my kids to learn that in life some days (birthdays etc) are about the birthday child and not about them. And that it is a treat to be invited to a party.....and that is the treat.

OP posts:

tattycoram · 07/08/2010 11:30

If you object to the cheap tat then get one decent thing. Party bags aren't new, when I was little we got going home presents, which does sound a little odd, but were one very small inexpensive toy, not lots of sweets and stuff.

FWIW I wouldn't (and didn't) bother at a three year olds party, but after that I think they're part of the excitement.

LaundryLyne · 07/08/2010 11:30

I don't like the idea of party bags. The host has already arranged the party so why should she also give presents to all the attendees? It makes the whole thing a lot more expensive. Enjoying the party and going home with a nicely wrapped piece of cake used to be enough :)

brimfull · 07/08/2010 11:32

ffs
it's a party bag
kids love them
a little added extra...like canapes at a dinner party
no harm
you are being a misery

januaryjojo · 07/08/2010 11:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usualsuspect · 07/08/2010 11:58

Its a party bag
The kids love them
Party is for the kids right?
Don't see a problem

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 07/08/2010 12:06

When I was a child in the 1970s the protocol seemed to be that there were various games with prizes (I suspect in retrospect that these were largely fixed to ensure an even distribution of prizes, but didn't notice at the time) and your prizes went into your party bag to take home, along with a piece of cake and a balloon.

Blondeshavemorefun · 07/08/2010 12:07

depends what is in the bag, normally small crappy junk that gets lost/broken in seconds

i do party bags, but went to the £1 shop and brough books at less then a £1 each and gave that with a bit of cake and some sweets

by the time you spend a fortune on crappy bits that get broken you can spend the same on a nice book that can be kept and read and enjoyed

my dc have been to a party and were not given party bags and they asked me why, i explained that sometimes you dont get them and the treat was going to a party

Rosebud05 · 07/08/2010 12:11

For my 3 year old's party, I did crafts with them so that they all had a decorated hat, shaker and windmill to take home, gave them all the same reasonable quality (though cheap) wooden bracelet as a 'prize', gave them all a pot of bubbles each at the party to run around with outside, so only needed to give a extra piece of cake for them to have lots to take home. Many birds with one stone...

kelly2525 · 07/08/2010 12:20

I dont really have a right to post on here, my first baby isnt due until January, but i used to think wtf do they need party bags for? Why do the guests need a present to take home? I dont care if theyre only children, they should be grateful to be invited to a party and not expect to get a reward for going, however, after reading all of your posts, im now kinda thinking, awwwwwwwwww i cant wait for my little man to have birthday parties so i can do party bags. I blame the hormones

DilysPrice · 07/08/2010 12:25

DB (aged 40ish) vividly remembers the shame from when our mother decided to give Ladybird books as a going home present from his 6th birthday party rather than a party bag full of sweets and tat.

megapixels · 07/08/2010 12:28

YANBU. I don't mind so much if they contained only edible items (though nobody in our house eats those awful haribo and stuff), as they get used up. What I can't stand is the compulsory plastic tat that gets thrown about the house after the first 30 seconds of wild interest in them.

For my dd's party instead of party bags I bought each child a book. A proper, nice paperback each. It went down very well with the children.

megapixels · 07/08/2010 12:30

Why does the cake go in the bag? Don't the children eat cake at the party?

megapixels · 07/08/2010 12:32

LOL DilysPrice I wonder if my DD will remember her 8th birthday party with shame 40 years into the future .

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