to not understand why party bags are the done thing......

[mistletoekisses]

So DS1 turns 3 in just over a month. At his request, we are having his nursery friends invited to this one, having just done close family until now.

Before actually hosting a party, I have always been firmly against the whole party bag concept - when I was a child, you got a piece of cake and a balloon and off you went. Am planning to do the same for DS party.

AIBU? Is the party bag thing so mainstream now that it will look realy odd not to do it?

I used to hate them and try to think of ways of doing something different. But when it came to DS having parties, I caved because children do love them a lot. I try to keep them pretty cheap, but interesting and fun. So instead of just crap-quality plastic I will look out for things with a bit more play value eg mini puzzles, stickers, pens, or paper models to cut out and make (you can even get these free from the interweb, print out onto card, costs pennies) etc. Plus we do smallish parties. 8 party bags is not so bad. I would baulk at doing 30.

It is a bit of a drag and waste of resources - but I can't find the strength to go against the flow completely.

I don't mind party bags but I do hate the idea of a cake in the party bag. When my kids get cake in the party bag, they eat it in the car and smear it everywhere. So at my DS 5 th b-day party, I served the cake after tea and replaced the party bag with a Lucky Dip on the way out instead. In the lucky dip basket, I've placed little parcels (pink for girls and blue for boys) containing baloon, pencil sharpener or plastic ring and sweet. Cheap, fun and clean. Kids loved it.

I don't know much about this yet as DD is not yet 2 but even before I had her and was buying for my nephews, I thought Hawkins Bazaar does some lovely stuff perfect for kids parties.

I always hated them, both getting and making. And sorry folks, I often went for the sweets-and-chocs option because I hated my kids getting plastic tat, which they loved, but which then broke after 5 minutes and ended up in tears and yet more landfill.

There's some nice stuff here that's not quite the usual plastic tat and all under a pound.

Mid 80s party bag:

Mini box of smarties
Fun-size Milky Way
Drumstick lollipop
Astrobelt
Highland Toffee bar
balloon
Slab of cake wrapped in napkin

No wonder I've got 12 fillings...

I'm not a fan of them either. I think that kids need to know that when it's someone else's birthday, then it's that child's turn to receive gifts, not their turn as guests. It smacks of spoiled bratness.
I say that, but have always done the bags as it becomes expected and I don't want my kids to be the only ones whose mum doesn't give out party bags.
When they were young, I'd stuff them full of chocolate and a balloon. As they get older and have only a few kids, I get a few nicer bits and pieces - a brac to a party I include a bracelet, a purse, a pencil, etc, a couple of things only but better quality than the Tesco's tat that gets chucked.
If nothing else, it makes my kids happy to give back as well as receive, which is a good thing. Also, most importantly for me as a parent, it signifies the end of things and leaves the guests in the frame of mind to go home, happy and without a fuss.
Have come to accept Partybags as a necessary but useful evil in the whole child's party scheme of things...

I really like them because I really like to do themes. On DS' first birthday we had a "fun in the sun" theme so we did sand pails with mini bottles of sunscreen, bags of goldfish crackers,a lobster bath toy, sunglasses, etc.

But. I fully acknowledge that I am a total dork when it comes to party planning and do not expect others to be as lame. :)

So YANBU, if you don't want to do them don't. I wouldn't think anything of it if my DS attended a party and didn't get a bag.

I hate party bags. I do what some other bod do and when they win a prize (ie, a Mr Man book ) it goes in some kind of container with balloon and cake.

I agree in theory but hey I find it hard to get very worked up about it plus they make it very easy to shove the kids out say goodbye.

Round here a lot of people buy cheap sets of books (Charlie & Lola, where's wally etc) and split them up and then give them out with a balloon and slice of cake - at least you then avoid the plastic tat.

Oh how I wish I'd had this thread LAST week as have just had DD's 3rd birthday party. I felt bad getting plastic bags as I despise them - but didn't know where I could get alternative paper ones [sigh]

We had a piece of cake, a pack of bubbles and a fudge bar and all the children seemed happy with that. (And even at 3 you could see most of them expected a party bag.

I am a lot bit shocked really at just how many things and how much money some of you think is reasonable to spend on these things though.

flyingboat those websites have some lovely stuff - will bookmark for next year.

IMO Party bags are the perfect way to signal the end of the party and get everyone to leave! As soon as the little ones get the idea that the party bags are coming out they're only too keen to leave!

PS: It was DS's 3rd birthday yesterday and I have to admit that I have been hoarding the discarded but mint contents of many party bags for a while, and popped them in the party bags yesterday to top some of them up. Recycle the tat!!

I don't like them - but my kids do.

This year we compromised - each child had a bag, we had party games and when they (or their team won) they got to pick something from a big lucky dip (mainly sweets, pens and rubbers) which they then put in their own bag to take home.

As we gave them all a book to take with them. The books were from the multipacks that you get from the bookpeople and the like (about £1 each). We got more than needed, gave them a choice, and the rest left over we kept for our own.

It worked out no more expensive than the normal tat that goes in party bags, but they all went home with something that might be useful.

We don't do "proper" parties until they are at school. So the first 4 birthdays are just family around for Birthday tea basically.

After that, yes, we do parties, and yes I do party bags. I hate it when my girls come home with a nasty little plastic bag full of cheap sweets and even cheaper plastic tat. The plastic tat gets broken and ends up in landfill, like the bag, and the sweets just top off the manic sugar high.

Our party bags are either cloth or paper. One year the girls decorated fabric bags with beads etc which they then took home with cake, a mini pack of haribo, a bracelet, a princess wallet/purse and a helium balloon tied to the handle/strap. The idea being that the pretty little bag would be used for dress-up etc at home, the bracelet would get worn, the purse is usable, the cake and haribo get eaten and the balloon clutters decorates someone elses bedroom for a week or so.

In my experience you can get away with really sparse party bags if there is a helium balloon tied to it. I buy half a dozen or so helium balloons and put them in the house during the party, and tie them to the party bags at home time.

This year DD1 will be 7, the party bags are little cotton Hannah Montana fabric ones (I made them from fabric from ebay, it cost £2.50) they will have a butterfly temporary tattoo, a pretty bracelet, a heart keyring (ones you can out a picture in, not decided if I'll put a pic in myself or leave them empty for them to put something in) a mini bag of haribo and a bit of cake, and of course the balloon.

No plastic tat, no landfill fodder, a bare minimum of sweets/sugar. I've bought everything from ebay, you can buy small job lots of half a dozen or so of these kinds of things, I've done it all despite being a WOHM it's just taken some forward planning and organisation. I probably sound really smug and self-righteous, but I hate crappy plastic stuff, and nasty e-number laden sweets, so I refuse to put that kind of crap in party bags.

But, to answer the original question, no, I wouldn't do party bags for 3 year olds, because I wouldn't do a party for a 3 year old!

we done a party last year for dd. his birthday is just before halloween so he wanted a halloween theamed one.

We left his party till the saturday of halloween then had a party for him where everyone dressed up.

There was only 6 of them there from his nursery class. It was his 4th birthday.

What we done was got pumpkin buckets from tesco for trick or treating later put halloween themed stuff in them. Some playdough sweets and cake.

In pass the parcel everyone won a little book which went in there buckets then topped it off with a light up balloon from hawkins bazar.

The dcs loved it as did the parents and they have asked if we are doing one again this year.

dd is 10,ds is 5.
NEVER done party bags and neither children have been traumatised.
Another con to buy stuff

I cant even believe this could be an issue. I'm 32 and used to get party bags as kid so i thought it was just the norm. I had a party today for my boys 1st birthday. Only 4 of the guests were children and i did them each a party box which contained a couple of sweets and a toy for £1. Each box in total came to no more than £1.50. However when my boy gets older and he starts having partys of 10 children or more then i thats when party bags/boxes could become costly. But really even if the kids only get a balloon,a piece of cake and a bag of sweets then they should be grateful. After all its the thought that counts.

bubbles
a balloon
a lolly
a piece of cake [in all senses of the words]

I personally like party bags and like the fact that it makes the birthday child remember that the party is about "celebrating" her birthday with friends as I think parties can become so "me,me,me" these days.

My daughter is fully involved with the party bag selection and she helps to choose what goes in them and what she thinks her friends would like to receive. This year, we have got a multipack of books (X the X fairy series). These are a multipack and work out at 50p each. She will choose which child has which book, she will decide who would like each book / toy etc. I think it helps to remind her that she is celebrating her birthday with friends and that she needs to think about them and ensure they have a good time at her party too.

I do agree though that getting endless bits of tat is very annoying, although I have been very impressed with some of the very useful presents that DDs have been given. They have had a small drinking glass filled with sweets and tattoos, a melamine plate and cup adorned with the cakes they made at a party, books, hairband set and so on. Many of these items we are still using 2/3/4 years on and these are appreciated!

So plastic tat - no, but small gifts that we can keep and use, I think are a lovely way to end a party. After all, the children loved them, just as I loved giving and receiving party bags when I went to parties 30 years ago!

Indeed one very good thing about them is they way they get everyone out the door and bring the whole thing to a defined end. One child leaves, the party bags come out and suddenly everyone's putting their coat on and clamouring for their bag.

have to say, I was a bit when a child came up to me at 3yodd's party last year and said "where's my party bag?"

did them for her 4th last weekend but made it part of one of the games - a treasure hunt. Wrote rhyming clues, mostly for the entertainment of the adults, who were charged with helping their own dc along the way. Handed out first clue, which led to a "tattoo station" where each child could get a tattoo and the next clue. This led to our apple tree, where they each picked up an apple and a clue. Next, on to a wooden box at the back of the garden, filled with gold cardboard circles with number 4 on them (money, y'see) and another clue telling them to go trade it in for a party bag with dh. The wording of the clue made it quite clear that it was hometime too

Never understood why the birthday cake is presented at the party, child blows out candles and then it is whipped away....! Only for a tiny slice be put into the party bag wrapped round a serviette that sticks to it and gets so squashed on the journey home that it is inedible.

For my kids parties we have the cake and everyone gets a generous sized piece straight away. Didn't do party bags for my 5 year old last week. Instead we had a hunt in the garden to find the treasure chest and inside was a few sweets, choc coins, real coins, ie coppers and 5ps to share out and a large bouncy ball for each child. They were happy with that.

I hate mainstream party bags - I make my own. I find it really stress relieving to be honest. So this year for DS 4th birthday pirate/princess theme party we have;

Stamped (Pirate Skulls) Muslin bags with;
Handmade Pirate Soap
Handpainted 5 inch wooden pirate or princess ornament (made by me)
Book
Pirate Mask
Pirate tattoos
Pieces of eight
Wooden bracelet for girls
Pirate bracelet for boys
Pencil set
Handbaked biscuits
Obligatory cake

I really love seeing the kids faces. I don't do plastic tat. My DS stamped all the bags, it passed a rainy day getting them all ready :)