to not understand why party bags are the done thing......

[mistletoekisses]

So DS1 turns 3 in just over a month. At his request, we are having his nursery friends invited to this one, having just done close family until now.

Before actually hosting a party, I have always been firmly against the whole party bag concept - when I was a child, you got a piece of cake and a balloon and off you went. Am planning to do the same for DS party.

AIBU? Is the party bag thing so mainstream now that it will look realy odd not to do it?

Party bags aren't about whats in them its about getting them and searching to see whats in them if you see what I mean.

The kids will expect a party bag because thats whats been done at kids parties for years. I think its really mean not to give them because its not about YOU its about them and for some reason they love party bags and don't forget every child at the part has brought a card and gift for the birthday girl/boy.

Party poopers.

If you want to give something back, forget the tat and toot and go to your local 99p shop where you can pick up beautiful books for...yes, 99p! DD recently turned 4 and I got all his classmates a lovely book by hugh fearnley whittingtons mum about a fox who becomes best friend's with a chicken.....Also put a "thank you for coming to my party Love Mini Pixie" in the front of the book which saves on a "THANK YOU" note afterwards.......multi tasking!

I think if the kids have enjoyed the party they won't even notice

Oooo like the "thank you for coming" tip pixierara

Don't have a problem with party bags but can't see the point in giving them tat.

A nice book sounds a good idea, otherwise I'd go with cake and balloon.

I'm surprised at the posters who would get a party bag for there dc's and then throw the sweets/choc away though. Unless there is an allergy issue, surely as a treat it won't hurt?

YANBU. It's very generous when people give them out but for pre-schoolers it's insane (and I was guilty of it myself last year - I hated myself for it ).

Mine are 3 & almost 2 and they get loads of party bags, they have zero interest in them and I eat the cake. Months ago I decided to hoard everything they were given and we used them as the toys we took on holiday, loads of cheap stuff that was small and didn't matter if it got lost.

We still have a box full of the stuff.

I like the idea of seeds or helium balloons though .

whooo hooo! I made discussion of the day!

do i get a party bag?

If you are lucky you get a balloon and pieces of cake .

Oh, the whole fuss around childrens' birthdays drives me crackers, but I am willing to buy my child popularity as, like a couple of others have said, I remember the discomfort of having rather no-frill birthdays. I am hoping to reduce numbers year on year, however, so that we end up with a very select group doing something interesting, rather than the cast of thousands all screaming for a party bag.

Last year, we invited approx 25 children to DS's 4th birthday (nursery, ante-natal group, children of friends) ... so I decided to cut to the chase and buy 25 x Poundland-type toys. I tried very, very hard not to buy plastic crap with millions of pieces, and was reasonably impressed with the cars / fire engines / Hungry Hippo-type games / skipping ropes / talking hairbrushes I was able to pick up.

At the end of the party, DH stood by the door with the tray of wrapped up cake, plus 3 sacks (boy, girl, spare for unexpected younger siblings) of toys. They were unwrapped as DH refused to let me stress myself out further in the days approaching the party. The kids then were pretty much able to choose and they all seemed happy with their booty.

It was rather unromantic and I saw a few raised eyebrows, but I thought they might one substantial-ish toy, rather than untold amounts of crap.

I'll probably do it differently this year, but it was an intersting trial. I couldn't have made up 25 party bags for a quid each.

I love party bags. They entertain for the journey home and sometimes contain something lovely.

For DD last birthday we did little boxes with 'nametags' on written by DD, a helium balloon tied to it and inside was cake/bubbles/a small book/box of yoghurt raisins

previous years all the kids got a mini musical shaker or clicker, chocolate buttons, and a happyland figure (split from multipacks bought on offer)

They don't have to be rubbish! I would always offer a balloon, bubbles plus cake as minimum.

But you can still have party bags without filling with plastic tat!

A few small choc bars/sweets/hair clips for girls/bubbles etc. It doesn't have to be much at all.

Another thing I've done is give out books (got from Book People) and taped pack of choc buttons to the front.

It doesn't have to be a bag but not to give 'something' is a bit mean.

Friend of mine once gave each child a plastic watering can filled with a packet of sweets - went down v well.

I used to like doing party bags - just choosing stuff the guests would like and getting the assortment right. But now ds has just had his seventh birthday and I am BORED.

When I was little you got a balloon and a slice of cake and you were grateful.

Am a loathe because I've always put tat in, being the least imaginative person there is, feel proper bad now but some nice ideas on here, I may become a like!

i like them, i even have done them for 1 year olds before know they wouldn't expect them at all but i just like them
not good to put tat in it though, atleast make it something decent not fit for the bin, i think it can be done to make a party bag with nice/useful things in it for not too much. like said above getting multipacks and split them, books...
i find them quite fun to make. then again i suppose after doing them for years and years the novelty may wear off a bit

Children like Tat and haribo

DS (8) said to me when he had his party, ' I dont think we should do party bags. The children should just be delighted to have been invited to my party!!'

Good lad.

So we didnt.

We always bin the Haribo and Drumsticks.

I can live with chocolate. I can even live with a small packet of Smarties, since they changed their colourings.

It's an arbitrary line, but it is mine to uphold

That's not to say that DS agrees, of course.

HIS ideal party bag would contain endless non-educational disposable plastic tat (including a 'pea' shooter - he really covets the bloody things), a whacking great piece of chocolate cake, Haribo, bubbles and a bouncy ball.

He is always quite disappointed with books, raisins and pencils. He gets that kind of joyless fare from us, on a daily basis.

I think the issue is that we generally feel against party bags, prizes in pass the parcel etc because it is now expected of us to provide them. Though these things developed to enhance the children's enjoyment of the party, and on that basis I have no problem doing them. I've noticed that other parents usually don't give two hoots what's in the bag, so I don't knock myself out putting fabulous things in them. It's just about the children's joy of getting the bag and seeing what's inside. My DC usually leave it in the car when we get home anyway.

Mum & Dad used to send home a piece of cake, a balloon and whatever everyone had won at pass the parcel.

Aren´t party bags just a version of that?

mistletoekisses no party bag for you, sorry, you don't like them - but you wanted one didn't you?
Doesn't that tell you something?

Do you really confiscate and bin things out of party bags? how mean is that But I would probably nick the drumstick lolly for myself though

I love party bags, as do the dcs, whatever they contain. What is not to love, they are part of the party fun!
Nor do they have to be full of tat! What's wrong with seeds, little books, a mini pot of playdough, a pack of buttons or starmix, a pot of bubbles, a balloon, a badge, a bouncy ball, a pencil topper, a finger fright, a little car, wind up toy etc etc? All things we've had in bags or given in bags- all great!
And why bin the sweets??! What on earth is wrong with Haribo and Drumsticks a few times a year????

My DS once went to a party where the gift in the bag must have cost more than the gift we gave to the birthday child. I felt very uncomfortable about that.
On the whole I can't see what is wrong with a piece of cake and a balloon or some small novelty such as a car or hair bobble.
If children moan about the quality of the party bag you can always forget to invite them next time.

I don't think its the children moaning ....