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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand why party bags are the done thing......

205 replies

mistletoekisses · 07/08/2010 08:13

So DS1 turns 3 in just over a month. At his request, we are having his nursery friends invited to this one, having just done close family until now.

Before actually hosting a party, I have always been firmly against the whole party bag concept - when I was a child, you got a piece of cake and a balloon and off you went. Am planning to do the same for DS party.

AIBU? Is the party bag thing so mainstream now that it will look realy odd not to do it?

OP posts:
undercovamutha · 07/08/2010 17:09

We always got party bages when I was a kid too, and I am in my mid 30's.

I don't see what the problem is. The idea is to give the kids a little token and a piece of cake to take home with them. You can use homemade bags, plastic bags, put 20 bags of sweets in them, or just a balloon and a pack of raisins. Up to you!

My DD (nearly 4) LOVES getting her party bag. She carries it around with her for a day or two, looking inside, tipping everything out, and putting everything back in for hours!!!! A piece of cake, a little bag of haribo, a nice pencil, a hairband and a balloon would keep her happy for ages, and would probably cost less than £1 to put together. Good happiness/money ratio IMO.

unfitmother · 07/08/2010 17:13

Well put undercovamutha! My DD was just the same.
Sadly some get more pleasure out of being sanctimonious than seeing a child's joy.Sad

LaundryLyne · 07/08/2010 17:27

Not in my experience. Where are you from?

"Party bags have been mainstream since the 1970s!!!!"

spanxaremyonlyfriend · 07/08/2010 17:30

Party bags were standard round my way in the '70s too.

iwastooearlytobeayummymummy · 07/08/2010 17:33

This thread reminds of when we down on our uppers with DH out of work,and DD1 and DD2 little.

After few days I would find and gather up any neglected party bag fillers and store them.

Lo and behold, at Christmas they all appeared again as the girls' stocking fillers.

Cheapskate mum or thrift queen, you lot decide!!

unfitmother · 07/08/2010 17:34

I remember them from my childhood.

TidyBush · 07/08/2010 17:50

Never underestimate the value that children put on party bags. My DDs are 16 and 13 and this year DD2 had a bowling party for a group of mates and still instisted on having party bags that included tat and sweets. All the kids loved them and I even had to make one up for DD1 who looked most put out when I suggested that she was too old for one Grin

3Trees · 07/08/2010 18:06

I LOVE party bags - ds had his first party last year, and he had party bags with stickers, unbreakable mugs, small bag of choclate buttons and a small tub of bubbles.

Every child who came brought him a gift, and it's nice for the children to have something to take away as a reminder of the day.

I loved doing them, and tried to find a balance between something sensible that won't piss too many parents off (the mug) and teh quiet, non offensive, easily washable play thing (bubbles) along with stickers and a small amount of sweets, cos kids do love them!

ninja · 07/08/2010 18:08

May have already been said but DD has recieved a book a couple of times instead of a party bag and it's gon down really well.

Also decorating your own paper bag

AuntyJ · 07/08/2010 18:08

hate

AuntyJ · 07/08/2010 18:11

whoops pressed enter!
Hate party bags as they are usually full of tat, but wouldnt dream of not having them for DD's & DS party.
2 toys, cake and lots of sweets, as I am always disappointed if there isnt enough choc for me :o!

racingheart · 07/08/2010 18:37

I think not giving them seems mean. It's a lovely gesture to give pressies to people who have brought them to you. Doesn't have to be tat - we usually get very cheap books from the Book People or mini Lego figures/Gogos/match attacks - whatever's collectable at the time. One of those with cake and a mini mars or lollipop or bubbles is all you need to give.

I get tired of the tat (bendy pencils you can't sharpen, plastic dinos they never play with - the house is full of them!) but the kids love receiving them. And I'm very old but remember them from the late 1960s let alone 1970s. never went home without one!

SylvanianFamily · 07/08/2010 18:40

sigh

party bags are an incentive for them all to GO HOME when you've had enough

Avoid them by all means, if you want tears at the end.

TheMoonOnAStick · 07/08/2010 18:44

Blimey don't some people overthink the simplepleasure in life?Hmm

Whether we like them or not (and I do) isn't the point, most children do like them . Granted not all, I know before someone turns up with an example of a child who doesn't, but most.

And I think to say otherwise with a load of adult and sensible grown up reasons why is being a big misery.

It might be 'tat' to some adults but not when you are a child and it is for them after all.

You could in theory say the whole party is a waste of time and resources of course. Maybe get them all to sit and watch a nature documentary for an hour, eat organic sprouts and talk about something worthy like recycling, I suppose. That'll teach 'em.

aloiseb · 07/08/2010 19:16

My son went to one party where there was no "party bag" but each child was given a box of Maltesers instead, along with their balloon and cake. (they were 2 for £2 in Coop that week, a few of us noticed!)

I thought this was a really good idea, as the sweets were so firmly tied up as to be impossible to get into on the way home, and personally i would rather he had some good quality sweets than a collection of nasty chews, dicey yo-yos and cars with wonky wheels.

I hate those bags of things they sell in supermarkets especially for party bags. They should be banned as they are usually such bad quality that they are no fun at all.

olivo · 07/08/2010 19:28

I say yes to party bags, as we had going home presents when we young.

I always have a quick peek in any that DD gets as she is veggie so can't have horibo and such as they have gelatine in. we have a deal going, though, that she can trade them for a little packet of buttons at home!

we only started doing party bags for her 4th birthday, but she has received them since day 1. mostly quite nice stuff.

LaundryLyne · 07/08/2010 19:51

But you can already do that, when it's their birthday and you go to their party.

"It's a lovely gesture to give pressies to people who have brought them to you."

LaundryLyne · 07/08/2010 19:54

LOL, but if you're going to take things to extremes that works both ways. Parties seem to be getting more extravagant as the years go by, and there's more obligation to "keep up" with whatever someone else has decided to introduce, whether it is party bags, hiring entertainers or whatever.

"You could in theory say the whole party is a waste of time and resources of course. Maybe get them all to sit and watch a nature documentary for an hour, eat organic sprouts and talk about something worthy like recycling, I suppose. That'll teach 'em."

preghead · 07/08/2010 20:44

I think there's no harm and the kids do love getting them. I think as long as you minimise the plastic tat and E numbers what's the harm? My own personal bugbear is the nasty platic bags so I do go a bit lentilly and insist on fabric or paper bags - loads available now. Then you can include stikers to decorate or fabric pens as the toy for the bag for older kids.

I also don't like one full of horrible nasty sherbety cheapo sweets that I could never give my kids (this year ds1 got those cigarette stick sweets which I thought was a bit much) but a packet of chocolate stars/buttons/smarties is ok I think. Plus cake, balloon, small toy, not too plasticy, and a pen/pencil/pad type thing always good in my book (in fact I rely on my children's party bag for a supply of pencils and rubbers coming into the house as I never buy them!) - sometimes people make the toy a mr men book or the like which seems perfectly unobjectionable to me.

spiritmum · 07/08/2010 20:54

People will give your kids party bags full of tat at some point. It happens once in a blue moon - but it makes them happy.

I used to get all judgemental about the party bags, and the tacky lip gloss that my dds get, and the Bratz doll that appeared one birthday.

But then I decided that all the mums buying the tat were doing their best, just like me, and God knows there are times when it isn't easy.

Life is waaaaaay to short to worry about such things. Who am I to judge? I am sure that plenty of things that I do are 'unnacceptable' to some people. Like the fact that the dc had Maryland cookies for breakfast...Confused

(The Bratz doll got ignored and packed off to the charity shop Wink)

Conundrumish · 07/08/2010 21:04

I don't mind them (now - used to hate them but have grown to like them) but I am terrorised by that horrible putty stuff that lots of people put in them. We nearly wrote off a sofa with that stuff.

We have given books in the past (went down like a lead balloon to be honest, though the parents liked them!), plus I notice that Baker Ross do quite worthy crafty things in packs of 12-30 (paint your own photo frame etc).

In the next few weeks we shall be making up party bags with the new lego minifigures that are out and for my nearly 4 year old, a matchbox car and a few other bits.

2plus2more · 07/08/2010 21:38

my 3 year old wanted a flowers and butterflies party - (i.e. a cake with flowers and butterflies on it, a butterfly craft and then just the same old toys we always have!) and I HATE party bags with a vengence so I went to tescos, bought some cheap bunches of gerberas, cut the stems to mini size and tied a little piece of ribbon round each one - a mini flower posy (just 3 flowers each) for each little girl to take home - DONE! It was cheap as anything, took very little effort and the little girls loved it - they thought they were so grown up getting flowers like mummy does!

ReshapeWhileDamp · 07/08/2010 22:00

Did anyone else call them 'going home presents' when they were kids, or was that just us? Grin

I like them but would want to keep them simple and not engage in Bag Inflation. I couldn't resist doing three for DS's 3 friends (and one for him) when they came round for his 2nd birthday. (wasn't a party, just a playdate really.) They got a slice of cake in a napkin, a balloon, a knitted finger puppet thingy from the fair trade shop, and one of those Apple Tree Farm books that costs 1.99. I'd envisage putting in an inexpensive craft kit for older children - maybe as the only thing, because I think 5 pieces of tat adds up and ends up costing more than one quality item.

nannynobnobs · 07/08/2010 22:05

Wow, I always had a party bag as a kid and I have always done them for parties. The fun challenge is in finding interesting things to put in them which will make the kids smile. If I'm lucky Asda will get their Halloween stuff out early (DD1's bday is mid September). Last year I bought a small bag of horribly soft stretchy mini rubber hands and feet that could also pop over a finger and be wobbled in someones face. The kids loved them :D
Also bought plain brown lunch bags and let the kids decorate their own which used up the first half hour of the party as they all arrived in dribs and drabs :)

MumNWLondon · 07/08/2010 22:30

The book people. Look for the cheapest multipack, can offer work out at 50p each, give each child a book.