to think its irresponsible for my OH to leave our 2 yr old downstairs on his own?

[YummyMummy1208]

Argh!

I'm so angry with him rite now and generally since our little boy was born cos he just has no clue how to watch him properly but if i ever have a go at him its 'oh shes off again...' and switches off.

Is this just a general 'men' thing??

Thismorning is a prime example, hes been taking over morning duties of late due to me being 7 month pregnant so thismorning he takes DS1 downstairs and then i can hear him saying 'So r u gonna stay downstairs and be a good boy while Daddy has a shower?' now forgive me if im being unreasonable but surely im not the only one here thinking you dont leave a 2.5 yr old downstairs - on his own - while u go upstairs to have a shower??

Whats everyones opinion on this one - Am i being unreasonable to have a go at OH??

[OrmRenewed]

Personally I think there's more of an issue with your house being so dangerous Could you not put a lock on the bleach cupboard and the knife drawer and a stairgate on the bottom of the stairs?

BTW is your OH allowed to make any decisions at all, or is it just re your child that you assume he is an idiot?

[BonniePrinceBilly]

Poor man. Imagine being bitched at and moaned at every single day for so long! I'm amazed he's still there to be honest.

And the twattish "is it a man thing"? No dear, its a controlling overbearing shrewish nag thing.

In case you hadn't guessed, thats a YABU.

[YummyMummy1208]

thecatatemygymsuit - i did already suggest this as the way i would have my shower - put him upstairs in his bedroom.

And the point of the stairgate for my OH would be?? - he left the one we already have downstairs wide open so of no use anyhow!

[IMoveTheStars]

Then why bother with AIBU if you can't deal with people disagreeing with you?

[Headbanger]

You sound very tiring. . . Commenting on feeling sorry for your OH is helpful, in that your relationship is bound to suffer if he is made to perpetually feel as if he doesn't live up to your standards.

You talk as if he is an irritant and enemy, not your partner and the father or your child. Also, what's with this business that he should buy a stairgate for the occasions when he isn't is watching your child?

It all seems like a very strange and unfamily-ish set-up to me...

[thecatatemygymsuit]

Why don't you just take responsibility and make your house safe? You apparently do have the need for stairgates, and it is terribly lax to leave knives/bleach within reach, not to mention a front door your child could open.

[MajorPettigrew]

Urm.... well put a gate on the kitchen, lock the front door and put locks on the drawers and under the sink.

An accident could happen just as easily when you 'pop' upstairs to do your make up.

I don't really understand if you know your house isn't safe for a toddler why it's OK for you to leave him but not your DH.

[Headbanger]

Yummy - no, I am a female, with 34FF proof, my love.

That comment, I'm afraid, demonstrates a) your extreme childishness and b) your attitude towards men.

[BornToFolk]

Why not just childproof the downstairs though? As others have said, with a new baby to look after, you're probably going to have to leave your 2 year old alone more than you currently do.

TBH, I think you've both been quite irresponsible to have a house that is so dangerous that you can't leave a 2 year old alone for a few minutes.

[MajorPettigrew]

Oh - YABU

[PotPourri]

I think you are right to worry, but your DH also needs to have the right to exercise his judgement. Maybe suggest he could takehim into the bathroom with him in future.

You will find it harder to helicopter so much when dc2 makes an appearance, so may be worth trying to distance yourself a bit npow before then.

[DreamTeamGirl]

Depends on the child and the house. How 'sensible' child is and how potentially dangerous your house is

I am single parent so I left DS at that age to have a shower every day. I was only out of ear range for about 3 minutes, then I would call down 'you ok?' and listen to him play while I dressed. never for a second occured to me to drag him upstairs to sit out side bathroom while I showered.

Would you object to your child going upstairs on their own to play in their room?

[BuzzingNoise]

yabu. If I never left ds alone downstairs I'd never have washed!

[YummyMummy1208]

OrmRenewed - i have bought safety clips for the draws but need OH to put them on - in fact i bought them over a year ago and am still waiting for them to be put on.

unless i moan AGAIN they will never get put on.

we have a stairgate on the bottom of the stairs - OH left it open thismorning.

BonniePrinceBilly you must be a male yourself. no need for me to make any further comment.

[MajorPettigrew]

Bloody hell - put the locks on yourself!

Are you helpless?

[IMoveTheStars]

[YummyMummy1208]

Headbanger i didnt mean it as in he should buy it cos he needs it not me, but i buy pretty much everything for DS and everything for the new baby, i only have a limited amount of funds and with him earning more than me i dont c y he shouldnt buy something - like stairgates for the top of the stairs and the kitchen!

[DaisySteiner]

So you don't have a stair gate upstairs? How do you know your ds won't get out of his bedroom and go downstairs while you're in the shower?!!

You need your OH to put the safety clips on. Perleeease. It is 2010 you know.

[MilkNoSugarPlease]

Er put the safety clips on the drawers, YOURSELF

[BornToFolk]

Put the locks on yourself!

And stop accusing posters of being male, like it's some kind of crime.

[EvadneGreenspan]

there is a small risk associated with this. Your DP thinks it is reasonable , you do not.
Stop having a go at him and discuss like adults.

come toa compromise.

and stop 'going on at him'

or he will not be there for long

YABVU in your attitude

[MilkNoSugarPlease]

pressed post too early.

You quite frankly dear, sound like an overbearing, nagging loon...

[foureleven]

as a single parent i had to leave DD to have a shower, put make up on etc else I would have been a stinking wreck for the first few years of her life. YABU.

"we were perfectly fine before starting a family and will be perfectly fine once we get thru this stage in our childrens lives." Just be careful that the resentment leaves through the door too..

[knickers0nmyhead]

not read the whole thread but yabu. I live on my own with the dcs, how the bloody hell do you expect lone parents to get anything done if you expect the child to be with the the whole time they are awake.