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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Children getting changed in front of the opposite sex for PE-age 8 and 9

331 replies

Ayerightyouare · 03/08/2010 22:25

I am new to posting,not lurking,and after a fab glass or two of Spar 2 bottles for £7.50 am off and running dear children at their grans for a sleepover,ahem
My children,boy age 8,and girl age 9,expressed extreme anxiety over the "changing for PE arrangements"...ie the girls had to get changed in front of the boys and vice versa,in the same classroom.
I saw the headteacher about this before the end of last term,and, to the point, was told that "Well,Mrs insert name,you are the only parent who has brought this up,I like children to be children,innocent,there is no problem,we don't have the staff to supervise 2 different sex groups,there is no problem,the children are okay with it,and you are welcome in to come and see them change in front of each other"
I told her about some of the,for want of a better word,pornographic things that I had heard children of this age speak about.
I do not agree with her,for the sole reason that my children have told me that they do not like this.And,I will not come in as a stranger and watch children changing when I know my own children's feelings on the matter.I explained that children in the school system are not going to go against their teacher when they know that they have no choice in the matter.
I really felt patronised TBH.
Now,in the last week,I have had an example of "creative writing" left on my kitchen table by a 10 yr old girl.I have lots of my children's friends around,and they often do "arts and crafts" at the kitchen table.
Here is what she wrote:

"My Daughter's name, you are a dick head, you suck dick, eat shit, you fancy name of boy,and have sex withname of other boy every night.
name of other boy has cheesy nipples and you suck them every night.Just to tell you how do you know boys name has cheesy nipples do you suck them, got it, you suck other boys name dick don't you? "
I mean,come on,this is a 10 year old girl.It is not her fault,she is just showing what that age group has been exposed to via the media.Her Mum is very very strict.
When the school term commences,I am making an appt with the headmistress and basically demanding that she allows children to retain their dignity when getting changed.I have spoken to my daughter regarding this piece of creative writing,she has just turned 9,and she is very uncomfortable about getting changed in front of boys considering what she has now been exposed to."Sucking Dicks" indeed. Am I being Unreasonable ?

OP posts:
PixieOnaLeaf · 03/08/2010 23:58

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AnyFucker · 03/08/2010 23:59

I'll bet you could, OP

scurryfunge · 03/08/2010 23:59

It's the Wicker Man

AnyFucker · 03/08/2010 23:59

does this village have the initials RV ??

Ayerightyouare · 04/08/2010 00:00

Pixie Ona Leaf,

My 9 yr old daughter has never "sucked a boys cheesy nipples"

This was a made up story by a 10 yr old girl.

OP posts:
PixieOnaLeaf · 04/08/2010 00:01

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scurryfunge · 04/08/2010 00:01

AF

SirBoobAlot · 04/08/2010 00:02

A ten year old, making up a story?!

By God, call the police. Immediately.

AnyFucker · 04/08/2010 00:02

come on, OP

time for the big reveal

you've done us up like a kipper...

serotoninbutterfly · 04/08/2010 00:03

I dont get it

Quite amusing though...

PixieOnaLeaf · 04/08/2010 00:03

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PixieOnaLeaf · 04/08/2010 00:04

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louii · 04/08/2010 00:04

Oh what village in fife?
Has this been bothering u the whole holidays?

AnyFucker · 04/08/2010 00:04

I don't get the relevance of the Spar offer, personally

PixieOnaLeaf · 04/08/2010 00:05

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AnyFucker · 04/08/2010 00:06

how so, pixie ?

ParanoidTwit · 04/08/2010 00:07

Why is the home to blame when a child feels uncomfortable about changing in a classroom?

Children know about far too much from what they learn in the playground. My kids are very liberal and have seen all my bits and they stroll around naked but I am strict and yet they know about far more than I do because they hear filth in the playground. It generally comes from kids with older siblings. My son is paranoid that his willy is tiny and he'll never get a girlfriend because of things he's heard in the playground. Now, to my horror, he equates willies with girlfriends and this was NOT learnt from the home or from me sexualising him.

I'm beginning to think MNer's are in denial so they can think their lives and kids are so perfect. Hell would have to freeze over before they could even acknowledge that they are not the most perfect parents!

PixieOnaLeaf · 04/08/2010 00:07

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TheLadyEvenstar · 04/08/2010 00:08

Pixie and AF, please stop making me giggle!! I am trying to take this seriously....but you have made me fail miserably!!

OP you need to get a grip on things here.
YOU have given your children a complex and you need to find a way to undo this if it is possible.

Heck they are 9yr olds not dirty old men in rain macs!!!

scurryfunge · 04/08/2010 00:08

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SirBoobAlot · 04/08/2010 00:09

I am the perfect parent, my DS is utterly perfect, and is already reciting Shakespeare backwards in Latin aged nine months.

Next?

AnyFucker · 04/08/2010 00:09

PT...have you not read the parenting topics ??

If you think that MN parents think they are perfect you are deluded

Or is it just the bitches on this thread ?

Ayerightyouare · 04/08/2010 00:09

Ok,the pornographic things I have heard on the "street".

Two 13 yr old boys walking past me,I was alone,thankfully as on my way to my Mum to collect Kids.

Said Loudly:

"I am going to F*k my mother up the a*e and then buttplug her"

Sorry,I couldn't let that go,not as a 44 yr old woman,walking up the street,minding her own business.It felt like an invasion of my sensibilities..

I stopped,turned around and said loudly "What did you just say?"

Thank God he still had the nouce,and the lack of hardness, to look shamed.

This is what we are dealing with.

Did any of you have the "knowledge " of these things at age 13?

And more to the point,would you have bigged it up in front of an adult old enough to be your said "mother"?

OP posts:
PixieOnaLeaf · 04/08/2010 00:09

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serotoninbutterfly · 04/08/2010 00:10

There has to be a story here that we arent getting. Its gotta be a joke, surely?

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