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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Children getting changed in front of the opposite sex for PE-age 8 and 9

331 replies

Ayerightyouare · 03/08/2010 22:25

I am new to posting,not lurking,and after a fab glass or two of Spar 2 bottles for £7.50 am off and running dear children at their grans for a sleepover,ahem
My children,boy age 8,and girl age 9,expressed extreme anxiety over the "changing for PE arrangements"...ie the girls had to get changed in front of the boys and vice versa,in the same classroom.
I saw the headteacher about this before the end of last term,and, to the point, was told that "Well,Mrs insert name,you are the only parent who has brought this up,I like children to be children,innocent,there is no problem,we don't have the staff to supervise 2 different sex groups,there is no problem,the children are okay with it,and you are welcome in to come and see them change in front of each other"
I told her about some of the,for want of a better word,pornographic things that I had heard children of this age speak about.
I do not agree with her,for the sole reason that my children have told me that they do not like this.And,I will not come in as a stranger and watch children changing when I know my own children's feelings on the matter.I explained that children in the school system are not going to go against their teacher when they know that they have no choice in the matter.
I really felt patronised TBH.
Now,in the last week,I have had an example of "creative writing" left on my kitchen table by a 10 yr old girl.I have lots of my children's friends around,and they often do "arts and crafts" at the kitchen table.
Here is what she wrote:

"My Daughter's name, you are a dick head, you suck dick, eat shit, you fancy name of boy,and have sex withname of other boy every night.
name of other boy has cheesy nipples and you suck them every night.Just to tell you how do you know boys name has cheesy nipples do you suck them, got it, you suck other boys name dick don't you? "
I mean,come on,this is a 10 year old girl.It is not her fault,she is just showing what that age group has been exposed to via the media.Her Mum is very very strict.
When the school term commences,I am making an appt with the headmistress and basically demanding that she allows children to retain their dignity when getting changed.I have spoken to my daughter regarding this piece of creative writing,she has just turned 9,and she is very uncomfortable about getting changed in front of boys considering what she has now been exposed to."Sucking Dicks" indeed. Am I being Unreasonable ?

OP posts:
Oblomov · 06/08/2010 13:17

i just spoke to my friend. her ds is in the same class as ds1. so also 6.5. she says her ds is the same. and all the children are. fine infront of her and her dh, but wouldn't get changed inftont of grandma, or whilst camping.
she said the other boys in the class ar the same and they all think its just them becoming more aware of their bodies.

i thought it was too young. but she says they are all the same.

SalFresco · 06/08/2010 14:01

Boys and girls got changed seperately at that age when I was at school. I certainly would not have been happy to get changed in front of boys at that age. At 9 my sister had breasts and had started her period - it is not uncommon at that age. For younger children, I wouldn't have a problem - but if they are old enough to be "aware" and uncomfortable with the idea, they are too old to change together.

mattellie · 06/08/2010 15:39

?glad to see 2 posters with young children on pumps. makes me happy to see that. i am quite proud of mine.?

Do you like your pump then oblomov? I?ve never been keen, but my DCs much prefer theirs to MDI.

I don?t think Pixie?s DD is diabetic, I think she has a different medical issue.

Apologies for going OT everyone?

Oblomov · 06/08/2010 16:17

oh i am sorry, i read it to mean thta both matt and pixies dd's were on insulin pumps.
i didn't lie the idea initially matt, being attached 24/7. but i got over that really quickly.

how does your dd feel about hers ?

mattellie · 06/08/2010 16:36

I have 2 x DCs who both use insulin pumps and in general much prefer them, particularly DD whose diabetes was so volatile she could drop from double figures to under 2 in about 15 minutes and was up nearly every night for 5 years with hypos.

They recently addressed a medical conference on the benefits of pumping, so I think you could say they?re in favour? Grin Thanks for asking.

PixieOnaLeaf · 06/08/2010 18:48

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