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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Children getting changed in front of the opposite sex for PE-age 8 and 9

331 replies

Ayerightyouare · 03/08/2010 22:25

I am new to posting,not lurking,and after a fab glass or two of Spar 2 bottles for £7.50 am off and running dear children at their grans for a sleepover,ahem
My children,boy age 8,and girl age 9,expressed extreme anxiety over the "changing for PE arrangements"...ie the girls had to get changed in front of the boys and vice versa,in the same classroom.
I saw the headteacher about this before the end of last term,and, to the point, was told that "Well,Mrs insert name,you are the only parent who has brought this up,I like children to be children,innocent,there is no problem,we don't have the staff to supervise 2 different sex groups,there is no problem,the children are okay with it,and you are welcome in to come and see them change in front of each other"
I told her about some of the,for want of a better word,pornographic things that I had heard children of this age speak about.
I do not agree with her,for the sole reason that my children have told me that they do not like this.And,I will not come in as a stranger and watch children changing when I know my own children's feelings on the matter.I explained that children in the school system are not going to go against their teacher when they know that they have no choice in the matter.
I really felt patronised TBH.
Now,in the last week,I have had an example of "creative writing" left on my kitchen table by a 10 yr old girl.I have lots of my children's friends around,and they often do "arts and crafts" at the kitchen table.
Here is what she wrote:

"My Daughter's name, you are a dick head, you suck dick, eat shit, you fancy name of boy,and have sex withname of other boy every night.
name of other boy has cheesy nipples and you suck them every night.Just to tell you how do you know boys name has cheesy nipples do you suck them, got it, you suck other boys name dick don't you? "
I mean,come on,this is a 10 year old girl.It is not her fault,she is just showing what that age group has been exposed to via the media.Her Mum is very very strict.
When the school term commences,I am making an appt with the headmistress and basically demanding that she allows children to retain their dignity when getting changed.I have spoken to my daughter regarding this piece of creative writing,she has just turned 9,and she is very uncomfortable about getting changed in front of boys considering what she has now been exposed to."Sucking Dicks" indeed. Am I being Unreasonable ?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 04/08/2010 00:18

BOF...you know something about this poster dontcha ??

I was going to start speculating on this thread, but I shall desist, forthwith

-x-

TheLadyEvenstar · 04/08/2010 00:18

oh no pixie has the LOL's
hope it isn't contagious or i will wake everyone up the kitten included.....

Ayerightyouare · 04/08/2010 00:18

Baroness Bombast,

I may just have misinterperated "water butts" for "wine glasses"....lol....feck that gardening for a hobby..har

OP posts:
PixieOnaLeaf · 04/08/2010 00:19

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TheLadyEvenstar · 04/08/2010 00:19

Pixie thats taking libertiessssssssssssss an hour and A HALF!!!! why was an hour not suffice!

Ayerightyouare · 04/08/2010 00:20

Any fucker...

I doubt anyone knows about me,as I haven't posted before,although have been a reader for a couple of years.

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 04/08/2010 00:20

I thin you'll find that crap is pretty much accepted PT...nevermind,eh, back to under your stone.

AnyFucker · 04/08/2010 00:22

BOF...check your mail

PixieOnaLeaf · 04/08/2010 00:22

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TheLadyEvenstar · 04/08/2010 00:23

isn't something pornographic if it is an image?

if it is written isn't it classed as "Lirotica"
and spoken is just "dirty talk"

Anyway I am not guilty of any of them i is an angel innit

PixieOnaLeaf · 04/08/2010 00:23

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TheLadyEvenstar · 04/08/2010 00:24

hey if you get rid of all the dc for any amount of time you have time off yes?

soooooo as DS1 is with my mum and I only have DS2 to look after I only have half the time off!!!

ParanoidTwit · 04/08/2010 00:24

What I have discovered about MN is that I really have a great life, good kids, fabulous OH and nice opportunities. Coming on here makes me realise just how lucky I am.

Note to self: stop getting embroiled in pointless arguments with nobodies

BaronessBomburst · 04/08/2010 00:25

OP- With two water butts and gardening as a hobby, have you considered brewing your own? Got to be more drinkable than anything from Spa! Only ever been in one once but all they had was that Ernst and Gallo Californian stuff.....

PixieOnaLeaf · 04/08/2010 00:26

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scurryfunge · 04/08/2010 00:26

You are quite lovely,aren't you?

arcticwind · 04/08/2010 00:26

At my dcs school they get changed separately from Yr 3 (juniors). Not too fussed about it at presetn - dcs go swimming with friends and get changed in communal changing rooms plus still have 'mixed' sleepovers, but that is selected friends so I could see it becoming an issue in a year or two.

However if I found such creative writing in my kitchen I would be having words with the parent - I think it is obscene from a 10 yr old and would not want my dcs to know anything about such things.

PixieOnaLeaf · 04/08/2010 00:27

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Ayerightyouare · 04/08/2010 00:27

Sir Boob a Lot- re me expecting individual changing roomd-no,of course not.

It is a matter of supervision in case the younger one's get up to "nonsense".

I am sure it would be easy enough to deploy one of the office staff for the 10 or so minutes required.

Whether there is the will to do that is the sticking point,as separate facilities are available, as I have been told.

OP posts:
TheLadyEvenstar · 04/08/2010 00:27

ohhhhh I played the part of one of the "nobodies" in a theatre production called "Snowella" in 1989

PixieOnaLeaf · 04/08/2010 00:28

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scurryfunge · 04/08/2010 00:29

I think PT is feeling a little embarrassed and has exited before she really makes a fool of herself.

PixieOnaLeaf · 04/08/2010 00:29

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TheLadyEvenstar · 04/08/2010 00:30

well i have the perfect children....DS1 can make a blinding cup of coffee and DS2 makes a wonderful mess - so beat that!

ParanoidTwit · 04/08/2010 00:30

so you can remember having orrendous conversations at that age but the 9 year olds in OP' class are innocent and OP is sexualising them?

Scurry, you were being lovely too by telling me to get under my stone!

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