FUCKING HELL I HAVE JUST HIT MY MIL

[slushy]

OMG I feel so guilty it is my time of the month she was shouting at my dp for 10 minutes about him and his sister not talking. Saying how horrible for her, so I stood up and said it has not exactly been great for me either you know, I have had a lot of stress lately worried because of my health this has been going on since dd was born.

She said I was a fucking evil bitch you will get what is coming to you I am fucking going. I followed her and told her not to come back without a apology she grabbed me and started strangling me in front of my poor dc. So I pushed her off and she tried to bite me the only way to stop her was to hit her so I hit her and it desended into a full scale fight my DP tried to break it up and she bit him.

I had her hair to stop her harming me and let it go when dp intervened. She said she is gonna phone the police and have me done for assault so I have phoned them they say I was assaulted. I don't wanna press charges MIL is a nurse and will lose her job as well as her son. I am so ashamed of myself, I hate my bad temper and I cannot believe I did this in front of my children.

Oops.
That's not the best thing to do, but you know that.
I don't know what else to say, but hope everyone calms down soon.

Jesus. You need not to see her again.

I know that now, I knew it then, I just couldn't help I walked away and left the room I tried to stop them but then it all erupted, oh god what must ds think.

And all my neighbors just happened to be out groan, why was I so stupid.

i think you could say you were provoked, i wouldn't worry about it!! she had it coming

and breathe. Hitting your MIL was wrong, but you wont be the first and certainly wont be the last person on earth to do something like that. The main thing is that you recognise that it was wrong, even though you were provoked. You cant rewind it now, however much you might regret it, so best to put it behind you, and dont let your temper get the better of you again. Easier said than done mind, especially with that sort of provocation!

What do you expect people to say to you?

As a complete stranger I'd say the first problem was your dp allowing his Mum to shout at him for 10 minutes about not talking to his sister. He is an adult and his Mum should not be shouting at him or telling him to do anything. She should not be so closely involved in your lives.

The rest of the behaviour you describe is beyond my experience and I really can't comment on what you can do about it.

bloody hell

You didn't hit her - you defended yourself until you got away. This is perfectly reasonable within the law.

She will not 'lose' her job - and if she got into trouble at work then perhaps she should realise her behaviour is entirely within her control.

You should probably have less to do with her from now on - you don't need abusive people coming into your house and calling you an 'evil bitch' in front of your children.

Yes, you should consider pressing counter charges for assault.

At least it will solve the problem of where to spend Christmas.

At all of it

well yours was self defense so if she continues to press charges she will cause herself to lose her job.

Do think some distance between you is better for now.

She attacked you first, as Lauriefairycake said, she started the physical assault and you simply performed some self defence to prevent it getting worse. I'm glad you spoke to the Police. Biting?! Is she a toddler, FFS?!?!

OMG. wow. you need to stay away from her! but for the sake of your kids you need to try some sort of reconcilliation.
As for the police it sounds a bit two-sided, though we only have your side (no offence) it may be difficult for her to prove who's at fault.
You really need to talk to your kids and reassure them about what happened- they must be freaking out. Good luck.

I don't understand why you had to embroil yourself in a screaming match which didn't have much to do with you by the sound of it- perhaps you would have been better off taking your son out of the house if there were adults shouting? And tell your husband afterwards that she can't visit your home if that is how she behaves.

And, er, a bit of what Bibbity said really. Sorry I can't be much help.

WE will never speak again now, This is the second time she has hit me last time my dp threw her out. I won't say sorry and let her think her behavior is ok, because it may be my dd on the receiving end, (she will never speak to me unless I say sorry) if I do even though I am sad I hit her because I failed to control my temper.

Don't know what I expected just feel really bad (I always do when I lose my temper as rare as it is)and wanted to vent I guess.

Think she can loose her registration as a Nurse if she commits a criminal offense.

okay sorry read post again, she was SO at fault- i'd press charges

I am worried now she will get access to my dc she is a alcoholic, and I am not the first she has hit she has hit her daughter and thrown plates at her, but I am the first to hit back.

I don't know what to say to my ds. DD is to little to understand. I have been hudgging him and reassuring him but other than that how do you explain?.

deaddei... every cloud

You defended yourself, and I don't think that anyone will press charges over this. Stick with the reasonsable force line, and if they ask you to give a statement you tell them that you were afraid she was going to hurt you, and you hit her to prevent her attcking you further, so that you could get away.

Avoid her like the plague now though eh? I don't think an apology will cut it anytime soon.

If she tries to start, go inside and lock the doors, and if she carries on call the police to get rid of her. You don't want to rise to the provocation.

I hope your DP is backing you up.

I'm confused why you are blaming yourself, saying you hit her when she started strangling you.

This thread should be titled 'FUCKING HELL MY MIL JUST STRANGLED ME'

Look, she started it. She tried to strangle you - it's not remotely unreasonable to hit out at someone who is attacking you.
But if this woman is a violent acoholic you need to ban her from your home and cut contact with her till she's stopped drinking. SHe's clearly not safe to be around. And this is her fault.

Why would she get access to your DC? Your children, your decision who they see.

If someone's strangling and biting you you in front of your child, you can't really try to talk calmly about it, you have to get them off the quickest way possible.

It's easy afterwards to think you shouldn't have let it get to that point, but everything happens so quickly, and mostly you don't think it'd get to that point anyway.

She sounds very volitile, and if you say you are a bit at the moment as well, that's a recipe for an explosive situation.

I'm going to send you a hug regardless of whether you were 'right' or not to hit her, cos you're probably a bit shell shocked.