FUCKING HELL I HAVE JUST HIT MY MIL

[slushy]

OMG I feel so guilty it is my time of the month she was shouting at my dp for 10 minutes about him and his sister not talking. Saying how horrible for her, so I stood up and said it has not exactly been great for me either you know, I have had a lot of stress lately worried because of my health this has been going on since dd was born.

She said I was a fucking evil bitch you will get what is coming to you I am fucking going. I followed her and told her not to come back without a apology she grabbed me and started strangling me in front of my poor dc. So I pushed her off and she tried to bite me the only way to stop her was to hit her so I hit her and it desended into a full scale fight my DP tried to break it up and she bit him.

I had her hair to stop her harming me and let it go when dp intervened. She said she is gonna phone the police and have me done for assault so I have phoned them they say I was assaulted. I don't wanna press charges MIL is a nurse and will lose her job as well as her son. I am so ashamed of myself, I hate my bad temper and I cannot believe I did this in front of my children.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You were provoked in a very stressful situation. I assume this is highly unusual behaviour for you and if so, your children will be fine and see it as 'exceptional'. However loyal to you, remember that your DP will have feelings for his mother too. You don't have to see her but accept that he may want to have contact. But for the most part just put it behind you and move on.

Hi I have not name changed yet still trying to think of one.

Anna0407 I have never in my life shouted at someone in front of my children (other than my partner but that is extremely rare and I don't shout and it is not nasty) I have never hit anyone unless it is self defense I was bullied in school and I have hit them when they were attacking me and certainly not since I was 15.

DP does not want contact but if he changes his mind I am happy for him to go up her house from work but she is not seeing my dc again.

Katiestar how nice that you see someone who was violently attacked as being un classy. It may have been my MIL but she has still bullied and thrown her weight around and eventually resorted to physical violence to punish me for not being subservient. I have had a physically abusive partner before and they tried to do the same things separate me from family, constantly being nasty and putting me and my family down. Making me feel worthless and she kept blaming me and making me feel guilty about things that were not my fault, eventually she was physically violent to me.

I didn't make the connection because I was used to being treated like dirt (from my previous relationship) and she only visited once a week and only does these things when my family are not around. Plus I didn't connect it because she is a woman and a mother,I feel like after all this time I see clearly now. If I had posted that my partner had done this to me you would have been very sympathetic but because it was a woman using her age and weaker physical state to bully me thinking she could hit me and I would not hit back because of how old she is,you say I was unclassy. It doesn't matter who has done this to me I have still spent the last 5 years being a victim of abuse, mental at first and now physical.

I understand how you feel however because I didn't know what it was either until I spent two sleepless night thinking over this to wonder how I got here. I am glad I hit her back because know I have stopped further physical abuse from happening and protected my dc from a abusive relationship.

runawaywife I thank you I feel like you understand better than anyone how I feel that the police is not always fair because they are very busy and when it is my word against someone else s it would cost lots of time and resources to ascertain the truth, and how let down I actually feel by this but I am very grateful not to have been charged and for this to all be behind my family.

I am once again thanking everyone who has helped me to clear my mind and see things for how they actually are, I know I did nothing wrong I was attacked and I defended myself and my ds who was stood right beside me. Sorry for the very long post but I know quite a few people have had difficulty understanding this (myself included) so just wanted to give the conclusion I had come to when I have thought back over all the things my MIL has done.

Slushy - glad you're a lot stronger now than when you first posted, and that you're clear in your own mind about what happened there.

It's a bit like a mile stone - and probably needed to happen. The MIL won't like it but she'll think twice before trying to push you around again. You got your power back.

Thank you Animation I know you supported me earlier too so thank you very much . The feeling like I got my power back was what made me realize what she has actually been doing .

Who cares if you hit your MIL, she STRANGLED YOU! And to top it all bit her son.
She sounds like a demented freak and no wonder none of you want to talk to her
At least you reported it to the police and if it goes further then they will see what a phycho nut job she is.

i would love to slap my mil!!

Slushy, your post at 15:57 was fabulous. You seem to have grown up & gained a whole lot of insight very quickly! If your freakish MIL has prompted you to put your life story together in a helpful way, she's done you a favour ... the screwed-up old witch

Thank you ItsGraceActually that is probably the best compliment I have ever had.

I feel fine now and my children are doing fine the main problem is my dp he keeps coming up with stories like his mum and dad were arguing she would be throwing things at him and hitting his dad. They were arguing on the phone and she held the phone to his sisters ear (who was 13) and then told his dad that his daughter had heard all that . She smashed a chair to pieces for no reason in front of his brother. I never knew any of this before.

I keep suggesting he go for counseling but he does not want to, I am unsure how to proceed with him now I don't want to push him because he has been pushed around too much already. But I think he does need to speak about this he is at least speaking to me now though it is coming out slowly anyway.

glad u have finally turned the corner with the abuse issues, good luck and well done

Thanks MrsDrOwenHunt .

If she touched you first I do not think YABU, she cannot go around trying to bite you, she deserved it... I might sound childish, but if i hit someone i would expect them to hit me back.