to find it completely amazing that some people never shout at their kids?

[undercovamutha]

Seriously I am at the fact that so many people on MN never raise their voice to their kids.

I hold my hands up as a culprit of excessive ranting at DCs. Don't know if its just me, or whether (as I suspect) my DD is particularly infuriating (although very lovely!).

How do you zen-like people manage it? Are some kind of drugs involved? 24/7 telly watching? Wine? What is the answer? (and don't even get me started on 'How to talk...').

Booboo, yes, I think apologising to ds if I have behaved unreasonably is important. So if I've shouted because I'm stressed or losing it or something, I do say sorry. If I want him to learn to apologise when he does something wrong I have to do it myself.

If I think I was right to shout - if he was in imminent danger mucking about by the side of a road, say - then I explain why I had to raise my voice to get his attention urgently.

And yes, Ruby, big house - or at least, tall house where ds and I are often on different floors does mean more shouting. Which starts off as raising my voice reasonably so he can hear me from up/downstairs but may well lead to proper shouting if he ignores me. He heard 'ten minutes until your food is ready' perfectly well but suddenly loses the ability to hear when it's 'ds, your food is ready, please come downstairs now'.

great post Maam Ruby

Oooh, really didn't mean my original OP to upset anyone, or imply smugness. It was meant to be light-hearted, but I guess there was a little bit of envy mixed in as well.

I would love to have the self-control not to shout. I come from a very loud family, and am very loud myself. I think I am hard-wired to operate at maximum volume!

My DD is very stubborn, and although I think I am quite strict, she very often does her own thing with no regard for what anyone else is asking her to do. If she is in a particularly awkward frame of mind, no consequence (however serious) will get through to her.

Shouting is my last resort, and I recongnise it is largely ineffective, but I am only human. I truly admire those who have better control of their emotions, but it still baffles me (sorry) how people manage it!!!

No, Grace, hypersensitivity to noise (experiences it as pain) and heightened emotional sensitivity all clear dyspraxia symptoms. No need to look at AS as well!

FGS there is alot of angst on here isn't there? Good old MN for stoking the fires that lie within our guilty hearts and minds. I often say to my children they may have a poke in the eye when they are misbehaving -folowing on from Maamruby's method. I also turn them upside down and threaten to throw them in the bin - that very often does the trick.

FWIW - we all do the best we can at any given time to be the best parent we can be - but hey we are human - we aren't perfect and we make mistakes - these our children learn from sometimes.

I shout - my Dad used to take a leather belt to us - shouting is the preferable option here I think. I forgive him though - he had a rough childhood - he was doing what he thought was right at the time.

Learn to forgive yourself and others and move on...........

Would someone else please come and shout at my ds's? They have been awake since 6.30 and are showing no signs of settling down.

Just caught up on this, sorry.
I wanted to thank Coldfield & MmeD for your replies

If you didn't hear me ... THANKS FOR YOUR REPLIES!!!!

PAGWATCH-not snide or unpleasant just putting forward an observation.

one which I hope you have now realised is neither relevent nor accurate and, as a consequence both a bit rude and pretty crass

Indeedy, Pagwatch, somewhat disingenous to claim "just an observation" when stating big houses mean easy lives and an inability to understand why people yell at their kids.

I blame your staff, personally. Perhaps you should be yelling at them too?

I don't think they are at all irrelevant pagwatvh.We now live in a much bigger house in a tranquil location have no real money worries and all the kids are over 5.You are barmy if you don't think that is easier than being skint and living in an overcrowded council flat then you are deluded.
why do you post your pics publicly if you don't want people to see/comment on them?

UCM, is that you?

Katiestar
You are either being spectacularly thick or deliberately obtuse.
I put pictures up for the same reasons that others do, to provide a snapshot of the bits of my life that i enjoy, value or laugh at. Our profiles are not there surely so that when someone disagrees with our posts they can trawl them to find amunition? I am not even sure why someone would go to a profile to find reasons to take issue with a post. It seems pretty snide.
If you disagree with a post then do so. But it seems no more justified to me than saying 'why are you posting re PND when your youngest looks about ten?'
Our experiences, the things we know and learn, do not have a shelf life do they?

My circumstances today are not relevent. The thread is about parenting styles and I have been a parent for 17 years, most of which were not spent in a house anything like the one I now live in. What exactly is our shelf life on experience? Do you determine how far back I am allowed to talk about..3 years, 5 years?
I also have a very severely disabled son so if you imagine I live a worry free and stress free existence then you quite as idiotic as your posts suggest.

Your first post seemed like a point made without any real reflection, something you said that seemed rude but was probably not intended - just that you didn't really think it through.
Your determination to stick to it and your added 'why put up a profile if....' makes me think you intended to be quite as mean spirited and unpleasant as your comments first appeared.

BTW I am not the UCM of old. Sorry 'bout that! I think she was/is Undercovermother. I am a mere imposter/newbie (well been here 3ish years!).