To let DD age 8 sleep in a tent by herself...

[TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench]

... on a campsite, with me & partner in another tent right next to her, and surrounded by a load of other responsible adults and family friends?

Only asking because it hadn't occured to me that this was risky, but friend who is organising the trip has just expressed outright and horror at the idea.

DD loves the idea - she is already trying to work out what selection of sleeping bag, cushions & quilts she'll be able to cram in the car to make her nest.

My relationship is a new one (although we have known him for years & DD is very comfortable with him, very keen on him coming camping etc) so I'd really prefer to be sleeping with him - although I won't if you all think I'm being ridiculously negligent!

Am I?

Yse, Limara, I am "horrified" too.

It's not concern for our children that makes us stop them doing quite sensible things, it's pure selfishness. We give more weight to what makes us feel better than what they need to grow and experience and live.

I too am horrified by the way so much parenting is driven by fear and anxiety. I don't see some of the things in some posts on this thread as 'concern' actually, because some of it is simply irrational and in the face of all known facts about camping. There is a differnt between concern - kindly, caring concern, based on a sensible assessment of risk, the child's development etc - and parental fear and self-serving anxiety which represses a child's sense of independence, confidence, skills development. The child must be kept under a feather-lined lock and key not for it's own safety, but because the parent can't handle a range of irrational anxieties.

Someone once said something very interesting on Mn once. That as a part of deciding the answer to all those 'AIBU to let my child....' questions one of the things we should take into consideration is 'is the risk fo the benefit of me, or my child?' So, if you want to introduce a new boundary to what your child does alone, is I because YOU need to go shopping, or because the child wnats to go to the climbing wall?. The implication being don't introduce 'risks' just to make your own life easier, but DO when the child asks. Because a child will have a trong sense of their own capabilities and confidence. This is the flipside. The child is looking fward to it. Wants to do it. But so many people saying 'no' because of their own fears, not the childs. I think over-protective parenting is bad parenting, too.

Sorry but at some of Easywriter's 'what ifs' Best laugh I've had all day!

You forgot one - what if she is abducted by aliens in the middle of the night

Easywriter - you should probably just stay at home forever - there's just too many risks out there....

Blu - wise words, I have definitely introduced risk to my kids because it suited me - and has normally backfired.

Now I am much more canny and careful - but if my boys (9,7) want their own tent when we go camping I will let them.

Well back in the 1970's when tended to drink n drive, went to the pub and left their kids in the car for hours with nowt but a bottle of coke, after driving there with no seat-belts etc etc..........I was 8 then and I stayed in a tent all alone AND it was in the communal garden of the 17 flats we lived in AND it was open to the main road AND in London!!!! And I'm still alive and came to no harm AND it was for about a week, and it was GREAT FUN. But hey I'm not advocating this now alright

PS. that should read

Well back in the 1970's when parents tended to drink n drive, went to the pub ...