To let DD age 8 sleep in a tent by herself...

[TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench]

... on a campsite, with me & partner in another tent right next to her, and surrounded by a load of other responsible adults and family friends?

Only asking because it hadn't occured to me that this was risky, but friend who is organising the trip has just expressed outright and horror at the idea.

DD loves the idea - she is already trying to work out what selection of sleeping bag, cushions & quilts she'll be able to cram in the car to make her nest.

My relationship is a new one (although we have known him for years & DD is very comfortable with him, very keen on him coming camping etc) so I'd really prefer to be sleeping with him - although I won't if you all think I'm being ridiculously negligent!

Am I?

Sorry but I wouldn't - I haven't read the whole thread but I would just consider it too risky.

It made me think of Caroline Dickinson... dunno why....

I am howling with laughter at WillowM2B!

OF COURSE it is ok for an 8 yo to sleep alone in a tent on a campsite in close proximity to other sensible people! All the death-by-zip scenarios...you can hear people breathing in a nearby tent!

Imagine what could happen sharing a tent with an adult - you could roll on them in the night and because they have their arms pinned dpwn in a sleeping bag they could be suffocated....

Poor child. She would be better served given a sense of independence and confidence. I hope she keeps her spirit up and doesn't become one of those MN women who can't live without a man in the house....OK, that was a low blow, but really....

Mostly I am amazed that all this walking miles to the toilet block goes on on the middle of the night. I just give DS strict instructions to wee in the hedge, not near a tent.

LOL at willow - very good.

I would be fine doing it. Ds is 6 rising 7, and not quite ready, but I can imagine him loving this soonish ... and he is an incapable male child. If there is another child to accompany her, I would have thought that would be even better ... just because it'd be more fun for both of them, and a potential back up if any aliens do land....

But, given the responses, I would be worried that you would get judged and people will assume you're shipping dd out. So if you do do it, make it very clear to everyone that dd was the one who wanted this....

OK - so at what age is is OK for a child to sleep alone in a tent on a family campsite surrounded by tents containing her family and frienda and separated from her mother by 3 feet and 2 thin layers of plastic?

43

couldn't resist, sorry

shudder at the idea of spending the night by myself in a tent - have done it, slept with weaponry, still didn't sleep well. maybe I am overly paranoid about it (reflects some more on this)

It was mentioned further up the thread about the little girl who was abducted from the tent in the garden. I lived in the area and knew the murderer . That was a complete one off though, seeing as he is now imprisoned and is extremely unlikely to happen again.

That one case would put me off ever letting my DD sleep in a tent though.

I used to go camping with 'just' my dad so trips to toilets / dealing with toilet blocks etc were all part and parcel of it from the age of 8 and upwards...

most campsites are extremely safe - especially as you can hear everyone's business (and therefore thay can here yours)..

I would absolutely let her stay in her own tent if that's what she wants... no worse than being in a strange bedroom in a holiday cottage!

No I definately wouldn't on a campsite, you don't know who is around. Maybe ok in a back garden with locked gate and staying in the next tent imo.

Fennel I am [shocked] you let an 8yo stay home alone!

Does your main tent have enough space in the living bit to put her small tent inside???

OP - I haven't read the whole thread (sorry), but how about you put the zipper bit of her tent inside the zipper bit of your tent (so you zip your tent around the entrance of her tent) then if she needs you, you are right there, but she's still independent. My godson did this with us from age 4 (very independent little sod!!) and you can still sleep with that lovely new man of yours, your daughter is safe inside your tent and you still have plenty of privacy when her tent is zipped down

No, both pokey two man tents.

Going to take bells and enough bedding for me to sleep in with her.

Very persuaded by all the "let her do her own thing and have an adventure" comments, but enough people here have expressed concern for me to have nagging doubts and to fear the judgey-ness of others who will be there (some of whom will probably be looking for the opportunity to criticise anyway).

If you put her tent up right next to yours and allow her to choose at the time (and once she's been put to bed re-choose!!) the let her do it, it's not like you're going to be in a cabin while she's outside in the tent...

As for the judgeypants you're going to be there with - ignore, ignore, ignore

(Why are you going with them???)

Oh, most of them are lovely and very good friends. Just a few who I haven't seen for years, and are likely to see our relationship as a bit controversial. Don't want to give them any more reason to disapprove.

Actually, giving her a choice once there is a good plan. Will think about that.

Oh, I see - in a chatty/nosey/gossipy mood and would love to know what you are doing to cause such controversy - but can see why you don't want to say - it's kind of an open forum

I hope you have a great time

Afternoons are a lovely time in a tent

Don't you dare curtail her adventure in case some judgey-pants sniffs at you! That way ruin lies...offering her the choice is fine, but don't cave just because of what people might say. Once you've dealt with a couple of practical issues like how she would get to the loo etc, there is really no rational objection to her going ahead and having her own little tent, beyond just "Oh I can't be sepawated from my pwecious baybeewaybee."

I suspect that there would be fewer objections if there were no man involved actually, and that a lot of the subtext to some people's disapproval is because the feel uncomfortable with a mother having fun herself.

I am so sad that OP has decided not to.
MN Paranoid,over-anxious, helicopter parenting, wins again.
This type of parenting seems to be the norm these days. Never letting their children out of their sight for a mili-second. I can't bear it.
Please god, when is this tide going to turn ?
None of you take on board the damage you do to you children. By passing on your paranoia to them.
Oh well, I can not convert the unconvertable.

Oblomov, you need to not take it so personally

Why are you so sad ??

OP asked for opinions, got a range of them and made her decision using these plus some other stuff that is entirely personal to her

Nothing to "not be able to bear"

And the fact that the decision she made is the same as I would have done in the circs is neither here nor there to me

I said what I would do (as requsted), but made it clear I would not judge a different viewpoint

I dunno about "tides turning". My parents were pretty protective of me 40-odd years ago !

I can't help but take it personally AF. I just think its so wrong. And it feels like more and more people are becoming more this way inclined.
And we all parent differently. I don't care if you are AP or GF.
But this is not a style of parenting. This is an attitude thing.
And I think it encourages the next generation of children, thus the next generation of parents to be even more over anxious. And thats not balanced. So how can that be good ?

And my sons need to be part of this society. they will be forced to make friends with the children that come form over anxious parents. marry a girl who is over anxious. becasue if we're not careful there won't be any normal/balanced people from which they can choose a wife. And i don't want that for my children, or for society as a whole.
I wouldn't have wanted my children to grow up in an era where they were 'seen and not heard', and/or beaten. But on the other hand, I don't want them growing up in this kind of other end of the spectrum society either.

So if its personal. then , yes it IS. I don't want that for my boys or for society in general, because i think its wrong.

Different strokes < shrugs >

Are you just trying to let me down gently Oblomov and put it beyond discussion that your sons don't fancy my daughters?

Nah. They'll both probably fancy anything that moves/has a pulse.
Although yesterday, ds1(6) did tell me that one of the girls in his class was "inherently beautiful" !!