To let DD age 8 sleep in a tent by herself...

[TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench]

... on a campsite, with me & partner in another tent right next to her, and surrounded by a load of other responsible adults and family friends?

Only asking because it hadn't occured to me that this was risky, but friend who is organising the trip has just expressed outright and horror at the idea.

DD loves the idea - she is already trying to work out what selection of sleeping bag, cushions & quilts she'll be able to cram in the car to make her nest.

My relationship is a new one (although we have known him for years & DD is very comfortable with him, very keen on him coming camping etc) so I'd really prefer to be sleeping with him - although I won't if you all think I'm being ridiculously negligent!

Am I?

Wow, I was fully expecting to open the thread to find:

AIBU to let DD age 8 sleep in a tent by herself....

"...on deserted moorland (except for wild boar), in the middle of nowhere, on her own, knowing there is a well known open prison where there is an escapee a week for convicted child rapists and murderers within 1/4 mile from the proposed camp spot..."

And judging by the replies, the OP may well have asked this!

What an odd lot of responses.

willow, that made me

i think it's fine. You can give her a personal alarm to use (very easy to use) in case of the incredibly unlikely event of anyone coming in. the bells are a good idea too.

I took the kids camping at their school last week for one night. My children 6&9 slept in their own tent. They were very close to me - as close to me as they would be if we were sleeping in our large 8 man tent.

I know......tie a string from your ankle to hers-lots of slack-then if anyone takes her you'll be woken up

NOOOOO don't do that! What if the string get wrapped round her neck and strangles her?????

I'd do it, and DD has never been camping before.

She's going for the first time with her youth club next month. They'll be two to a tent.

If it ever stops raining, we'll be camping here in the garden first, and then I've said her and her friend can camp together out there.

I'm not remotely worried.

If anything was wrong, she'd wake me up.

I'd like to see someone steal her without the next fecking county hearing and if aliens came, she'd be speechless with excitement!

(she's 8, her friend is 9)

I slept in a tent next to my parents when I was a kid and loved it, I certainly wasn't abducted/molested/run over/attacked by wild animals etc.

And if you think she won't find her way back from the loos, either ask her to wake you up before she goes or pitch as near to the loo block as possible. As long as she is surrounded by other tents of people she knows, as you stated, then I'm inclined to think she'd be ok.

But then, I was allowed to be pretty independent as a kid and I am of the mind that we wrap our children in so much cotton wool that they are unable learn how to look after themselves adequately or experience "life" they way we were able to in the "old days".

Not a chance, go to halfords four person two room tent 99.99 comes with sleeping bags ans airbeds, best of both? you would never forgive yourself should something freaky happen, also campsite probably wouldn't allow this insurance etc, shes eight the safest place for her is with you, you wouldn't sleep anyway, up and down to check all is well

My cousin and her DH let their 2 DS's aged 4 and 2 sleep in a tent alone on a campsite while they slept in the caravan with the door open.Madness!

This whole "going to the loo and getting lost/murdered/abducted/injured" thing is really baffling me...

What are you all saying? If she stayed in the OP's tent she wouldnt need the loo? Or that she could wake the OP to assist with going to loo?

Ermm...If she woke up in the night in her own tent needing the loo - surely she could pop to Mum's tent 1/2 metre away to ask for assistance if required?

Or am I missing something?

Last summer, my then 5 and 9 yr old DCs were in their own tent on campsites. Last week, they slept in our next door neighbour's garden/field with the neighbour's 7 yr old daughter. My 10 yr old son said if his 6 yr old sister changed her mind in the night - it was after all her first ever sleepover at friends - then she could wake him up and he would walk her home. I left the back door open.

Since moving to Switzerland and seeing all the 5 yr olds walking to school alone, and then waving my 5 yr old DD off to her first residential school trip, it's really opened my eyes to what kids are capable of given the chance. I'm now trying really hard not to let my knee-jerk Daily Mail-fed paranoias hold them back.

Don't do it. oh please. this is MN helicopter / over-anxious parenting at its worse. Ds1 was in a tent last summer. begged and begged. he was 6 then.
Best not to, though. why not ?????
uuummmmm. probably because as Easywriter thinks, there is a paedo on every corner.

Do not under any circumstances, think that you can have sex in a tent without anyone hearing

Op - I think my issue with leaving her on her own lies, not with alien abductions or runaway cars, but with the fact that if she (or you) have never camped before, it might be quite scary for her if she wakes up in the pitch black, with various nocturnal animals doing their noise things, scare her senseless and she may never ever want to camp again. I think 8 is just a little bit too young, but break her in gently and in a couple of years time she'll be a pro.

Like other have said, seeker speaks the truth about wimps and over-reacting.

As someone who's done a lot of camping over the years, I don't see the problem with this. Noise travels a long way across a field at night, so if her tent is beside yours then you'll almost certainly hear if there's a problem. Though, also bear in mind that there are lots of strange noises at night (nearby animals, dawn chorus etc) and these might upset her if she's not expecting them.

All of the other concerns are things to teach during the day/at dusk eg. guylines are hard to see in the dark (you may be able to attach something reflective to them), so you must walk and not run near the tents, use of a torch (point at the ground a little ahead of your feet, don't wave it around in the air), the safest route to the toilets (and strict instruction to get someone to go with her).

Interesting.

DD is 9.

Last night she slept out in a tent in the back garden. We were in the house.

At 1 am I was woken by a sobbing child covered in sick standing by my bed. Without warning, having gone to bed perfectly well, DD had woken in the night and vomited. A lot. The tent was absolutely covered.

How had she found her way up to my bedroom?

Well, she wouldn't have if she had been on her own. In her distraught and disorientated state she couldn't negotiate the piles of puke, locate the zips and find her way out of the tent.

Fortunately her 13 year old brother was also in the tent and he came to her rescue, unzipped the tent and brought her back indoors.

Can your DD bring a friend? Don't leave her by herself.

Met my now dh when dd was four we have taken her everywhere with us inc camping in 2 bedroom tent also only get one room on holidays abroad. as someone just said if its for ''adult time''don't bother cos in a tent everyone will hear even passing Pervs! I know you want privacy but I always had plenty of that at home and kind of gave up when went away. dh never complained and .I think it helped our bonding as a family. knew he was the one for me first time she got ill in the night and he put her in bed with me before climbing into her junior bed....he is 6ft 3 ha ha

YANBU. What a lovely holiday it will be for your DD.
Just one thought to add to the mix and make it even harder for you to decide...

Most public campsites have a very strict rule that tents must be no closer than 6 metres, due to fire safety or some such. I am pretty sure it 6 metres, if not it was 6 feet, but still, that makes the 'putting them door to door close' a bit trickier

Either way, I hope you have a lovely camping holiday and your daughter gets as much out of it as she can. Its the stuff memories are made of!

"also campsite probably wouldn't allow this insurance etc"

In my experience they won't give a toss and will actually be glad of the chance to charge for a pup tent...

Ah - ignore my bit about not camping before - that'll teach me to read the thread PROPERLY

The bit about the shagging still stands though

Oh Olblomov, seems you're outing yourself as spoiling for a fight!

Maybe you'll notice that I have had my mind changed re the whole 8 year old in tent thng.

And incidently I don't think there's a paedo on every corner.

If you can actually understand what you read you'll see the closest I get is to wonder if there is one "on every street corner" and that only because it was the thread title.

A plague on your house house you big horrid!

I get the feeling the thread may have moved on a bit, but....

YANBU If she is happy with it why on earth not!?

Easywiter, outing myself ? for a fight ?
No, no, you have me all wrong. I don't do fighting.
Plague ? what like bubonic or black death ?
Are you casting a spell on my housey house house ?

MN is getting more over-reactionary and over-anxious than ever these days.
It wasn't personal. You are not the only one.

Gah! Well, this morning, I thought, sod it, lets do it, with bells on the zip. DD is sensible, she'll be fine, we'll all have a great time.

Then I spoke to P, and he was concerned that others there would think we were being selfish and had kicked DD out for our own pleasure etc etc - which is obviously not the case, but he is a bit of a worry-wart.

There are other complicated factors about the history of our relationship that I don't particularly want to go into, but basically some of the people who are going to be there are likely to be a bit gossippy about us anyway and DD in a tent on her own will just add grist to the judgey mill.

So I think I'll just get in the damn tent with her and save the independence bit til next time.

She will be extremely disappointed though.