To let DD age 8 sleep in a tent by herself...

[TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench]

... on a campsite, with me & partner in another tent right next to her, and surrounded by a load of other responsible adults and family friends?

Only asking because it hadn't occured to me that this was risky, but friend who is organising the trip has just expressed outright and horror at the idea.

DD loves the idea - she is already trying to work out what selection of sleeping bag, cushions & quilts she'll be able to cram in the car to make her nest.

My relationship is a new one (although we have known him for years & DD is very comfortable with him, very keen on him coming camping etc) so I'd really prefer to be sleeping with him - although I won't if you all think I'm being ridiculously negligent!

Am I?

She'll be able to hear you shagging whether she's in a tent on her own or in the other room of a two room tent...

Just posted

Tootired- that occurred to me too

There will be no shagging. Of course.

Ahem.

(Or if there is, it will be very quiet. And perhaps take place after DD is up and hanging out with other kids and parents who no longer shag have other priorities - and don't resent me having a lie in)

we put 8yo cubs two to a tent and let them get on with it... they all know they need to wake a leader (the ones with the cyalume sticks hanging from the door flap) if they need a wee.

it's a blardy nightmare getting them to sleep.

i know that's totally irrelevant by the way

ew, no, could you really? when everyone is up and outside and listening by your guyropes? nooooooooooo... i'd be more concerned about that tbh

As usual, Seeker's nailed it. What a ridiculous over reaction by most people on the thread...

I'm gobsmacked. Thank you Seeker for pointing out some home truths.

To a kiwi, the ability of the english to molly-coddle their kids is something short of sublime. It completely BAFFLES me that there seems to be a majority of people on this thread that wouldn't let an eight year old stay in a tent on her own! And, right next to her mother's tent! Where's your sense of adventure!?

OP, let her stay on her own, it will be fine. She'll love it. It's your job to teach her independence, not to teach her irrational fear.

Another one here to say if you think your DD would be OK, then do it. You know your daughter best. In the OP you said that she was looking forward to it.

There hasn't been an "over-reaction", nor an invasion of "the alien ship brigade" and not even anyone telling Op what she should do

OP asked for opinions.

She has divided opinions.

meh

I don't think I would.

DS1 is nearly 8, and although he is really responsible for his age I'm not sure that I would feel comfortable with him sleeping by himself in another tent, even if it was right next to us.

We are in a similar position actually, there are 5 of us and our tent is 4 man. At the moment we fit fine (2 adults in one bedroom and 3 children in the other one), but there will come a time when the children are too big to fit comfortably. We are thinking of getting a 2 man tent to put by the side. I would probably let the boys sleep in it together without an adult next summer (when they will be 7 and 9) but I wouldn't be comfortable with one sleeping on their own.

"We are raising a generation of timid, fearful wimps and we have no one to blame but ourselves. "

Seeker's post in general but this bit in particular is the most sensible thing I've read on mumsnet in ages. Honestly, people: get a grip.

No way on this earth would I! It sounds very selfish, surely you have plenty of nights to sleep with your partner?

OR Can she not bunk in with others if family and friends are there that you trust?

Surely whether it is selfish or not depends on what the child wants, Michael. Not every child would like bunking in with family and friends.

Selfish?!?!

Oh, FGS!

Is it selfishness that I let dd have a room of her own at home from age 1? There is no doubt it helped dh's and my sex life. But selfishness?

I would let her

'No way on this earth would I! It sounds very selfish, surely you have plenty of nights to sleep with your partner?'

HeeHeeHee, MBP...such moral outrage is very rare these days. Well done you!

I would see nothing wrong in your daughter being in a tent on her own. I am an only child and slept in my own tent from about the same age.

If you are worried about it, how about some of the following:

attach a string of bells to the zipper on her tent. They will lie on the ground when the zip is closed but if she or anyone else opens the zip it should alert you if you are only a few feet away.

Walkitalkies or even a baby monitor for her and you so that she can call for you if she is upset.

I would let her. My ds at about that age wanted to sleep in his tent in the back garden after going to cub camp. He was quiet happy in there on his own.
I left the kitchen light on, and the door unlocked obviously. And I went out to check on him several times.

I asked my sister if her ds wanted to stay over with him. She freaked out and told me it was too dangerous (I live in a mid terrace and anyone attempting to get in the garden would have to climb over at least 2 high and rickety old fences). Mind you she thinks it's too much for her pfb to sleep over at anyones house and always insists family members go and stay at her house if she needs an overnight babysitter.

Anyhow, my ds was happy as larry out there, very excited and thought it was great. It was only when he asked if my neighbour's ds could stay in there with him and this boy was too scared and started to freak him out about ghosts and giant wolves that he decided he didn't want to any more. They both stared the night in the tent, but both ended up in their own beds.

So I would say give your dd the chance. She's excited and happy. But be prepared for her to change her mind when other people start commenting on how 'dangerous' and scary it is.

And it's no better/worse than being in a 2 room tent. She could equally walk out of that without you being aware. Course after all teh scare stories on here you'll be awake most of the night worrying about any tiny sound...

I personally wouldnt,i remember the little girl in wales,who was taken from her tent hile she was sleeping,and he murdered her by the childrens swimming pool,my auntie lives in the area and it was shocking,the garen was well hidden,so he must have been having a good nose round.

wouldnt you get a tent with an extra bedroom that zips off,and then she would have her own space..

must admit ive seen too many horror films and wouldnt ever sleep in a tent,i need a locked door lol..

Let her do it, if she doesn't like it/gets scared then you can always move tents.

I asked to sleep in my own tent at this age, my Mum made it very clear that if i ever felt scared/needed a wee i was to just give her a shout and to never leave the tent at night without her.

I loved it.

No no and no!

"There hasn't been an "over-reaction", nor an invasion of "the alien ship brigade" and not even anyone telling Op what she should do

OP asked for opinions.

She has divided opinions."

Untiul I posted, the response to the OP was so overwhelmingly that she was suggesting something unreasonable, dangerous and downright irresponsible that "she changed her mind about doing it"

If that's not the "alien ship brigade" out in force, I don't know what is!

It was great, i had my own torch that was bought especially for me, i got all comfy and warm in my sleeping bag and lay there with my torch and read for ages after i went to bed

Well personally I see absolutely no problem with this at all. If your DD is happy to have her own tent, what is the issue?