To let DD age 8 sleep in a tent by herself...

[TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench]

... on a campsite, with me & partner in another tent right next to her, and surrounded by a load of other responsible adults and family friends?

Only asking because it hadn't occured to me that this was risky, but friend who is organising the trip has just expressed outright and horror at the idea.

DD loves the idea - she is already trying to work out what selection of sleeping bag, cushions & quilts she'll be able to cram in the car to make her nest.

My relationship is a new one (although we have known him for years & DD is very comfortable with him, very keen on him coming camping etc) so I'd really prefer to be sleeping with him - although I won't if you all think I'm being ridiculously negligent!

Am I?

I was worried this weekend when DD2 (13.5 years) happily went to stay with trusted friends of mine, on their non-working farm. It's all a huge adventure for her, she is staying in their caravan, a few yards from the farmhouse, and is equipped with mobile phone and walkie talkie contact (and is spending her daytime with my friends). Plus, she has 65 or so dogs to protect her as my friends run a rescue. She's still there, having gleefully accepted the offer of an extended stay, so she must be enjoying it, btw!).

I certainly wouldn't be happy with an 8 year old camping alone though. If I feared that my 13 yo might get lonely at night/not be able to cope with a problem etc, I'd be beside myself with worry over an 8 yo!

I would. You are right next to her, yes?

My parents did this when I was about the same age. I had strict instructions to get my mum / dad if I needed the loo in the night.

I loved it! A room of mine own and all that!

AND we had old fashioned oil lamps

(Eee, it were grand when I were a lass!)

Seriously though, I would.

there is an easy solution - buy a bigger tent with two bedrooms

LadyBlaBlah
There are potential dangers (even if some of them end up with a scared cold 8 year old who wants her mummy), some good ones are listed here.

The real nightmare ones are unlikely to happen but why take the chance.

Needing the loo when camping -fairly likely.
Again, it's just not worth the risk.

LadyBlaBlah - Thanks - I didn't think I was being completely bonkers, but it does seem that the majority have concerns, and as I said, I'm happy to take advice on this one.

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQu? - obviously different opinion's and all that but i'm still totally

at car repelling properties.

I don't know, but you know what I mean, some risks are the stuff of ruined lives and some are just unpleasant, but for one night?

It doesn't sound as if OP and DD are seasoned campers or am I mistaken in thinking that?

YANBU I can't really see the problem.... but I would be fully prepared for her to change her mind when there and want her mummy.

We have had our 8 and 6 year old in a tent by themselves next to us - but only on a camping trip where we were with a large group of friends in a 'private' section of a campsite (no strangers wandering through). I wouldn't feel comfortable doing this in a public campsite at this age. Maybe in a couple of years time.
Yes i do remember the Sophie Hook case (truly horrible), but it tbh I would still allow children of that age to camp in the garden alone (if I had one that is). You can't live your whole life assuming the worst.

I wouldn't either.

I went camping with my parents and a large group of their friends from around 5 till 17 but didn't sleep in my own tent until 15.

They were concerned about me geting up through the night for the bathroom and getting lost, upset or assaulted.

They also had the idea that I would make plans to sneak out and meet other kids and get into trouble [sock] as if! [wnk]

I am normally vry much in favour fo letting my kids get on with it
But in the circs OP describes, nah I wouldnt.

Personally I'd be fine with it, as long as her tent was right next to mine, ir with the doors almost touching iyswim.

But I know lots of people wouldn't be and I'd say a good other option would be a 2 room tent so she has her own space but with a shared entrance.

I wouldn't - nothing to do with 'stranger danger' though. I just don't like the idea of my 8yo waking in the night for a wee and feeling disorientated or scared.

My DS is 8 and we camp a lot, by the way.

my keyboard sucks...sorry

btw my two have been leaving the tent to have a quick pee outside for as long as they have been able to I don't expect them to trudge to the loo block in the dark - usually we are camping in the summer and it is pretty light by 5am when they usually wake up needing the loo

I'm going against the grain here too.... YANBU. Assuming she is a fairly confident 8 year old, and that the tent is right next to yours; surely she'll call out if something happens to upset her?

"What if a lit match fell on her tent (who knows how it would get there, maybe a gust of wind blowing a flame toward her tent, I don't know but whatever)?" How paranoid can you get??

"What if a car reversed onto her tent with her in it?" Well, if she was in your tent and someone reversed on her, you'd know just about a split second before you'd know someone had reversed over in the tent immediately adjacent to yours.

"what if she got her hair caught in the zip?" Well if it were my DD, I'd know immediately because she'd bellow her discomfort, alerting the whole campsite.

"what if she needed the loo in the middle of the night and was scared?" see above....
" MUMMY, I need to pee!!"

"what if her tent isn't actually water tight and it rains?" ditto above again.

"what if she just wants her mummy?" And again. Do your children never shout demands and needs??

Sorry, but just got to come back and say that her wanting her mummy is not an issue as she would know exactly where I am, the entrance to my tent would be directly in front of, or beside, hers, she would have a torch and very strict instructions to come and get me if she was awake, especially if needing the loo.

I'm not going to do it, you've all changed my mind, and thank you for your help. But just wanted to make it clear that I had given it some (if not enough) thought and was not being entirely daft.

I don't think you were being daft, moisty

but just not worth it, love, IMO

Peerintothevoid

Easywriter stares into nothing dreaming of children who don't shout or demand... ...

Try asking on the camping board - I'm getting the impression lots of respondents here don't actually camp.

Come on, we're talking about a reasonably old child sleeping in a completely 'hear though' tent probably about 12 inches away from her mother and partner. She really doesn't have to deal with bugs, toilet trips, etc by herself - even my 10 yr old son wakes me up from his tent with a loudly whispered 'Mummy..' if he needs the loo at 3am - he doesn't trot off alone.

She sounds confident and sensible (and the noise of a tent unzipping is like flippin' gunfire in the wee small hours anyway). She'll be completely fine. Have a good trip!

I do camp, and quite a lot.

Fair enough AF

AIBU is clearly not for me: I can't scrap with people, I'm genuinely interested and willing to take the advice - but no one seems to have noticed that I have taken that advice on board and changed my mind already!

I'd consider this set up OK too

... ...sorry did I say camp?
I meant stay in 5 star hotels!

If she wants to sleep in her own tent next to yours then let her. Give her a torch, make sure she can unzip her tent (and yours), and let her have the adventure. IF she wants to. My dd wasn't happy doing this until she was about 10. Ds has slept in his own tent since he was 6.
If he has a bad dream he calls me, or comes to find me. He is much closer to me and easier to hear than he is at home.

People are generally being very very silly about this, and have, I suspect, never been camping.