To let DD age 8 sleep in a tent by herself...

[TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench]

... on a campsite, with me & partner in another tent right next to her, and surrounded by a load of other responsible adults and family friends?

Only asking because it hadn't occured to me that this was risky, but friend who is organising the trip has just expressed outright and horror at the idea.

DD loves the idea - she is already trying to work out what selection of sleeping bag, cushions & quilts she'll be able to cram in the car to make her nest.

My relationship is a new one (although we have known him for years & DD is very comfortable with him, very keen on him coming camping etc) so I'd really prefer to be sleeping with him - although I won't if you all think I'm being ridiculously negligent!

Am I?

Don't have a strong opinion on this one - just wanted to say I don't think you were BU; you were unsure and hence posted, which seems eminently reasonable to me, and you sound very sensible

I know you have changed your mind.

However I was 7 when I was first allowed to sleep in my own tent. I was so excited and loved every moment (except when it was thundering and lightning I was a liitle afraid then and I went and got in the caravan with my mum and dad.)
We were in France with no other family or friends around and it was fine.
But, if you are not 100% with the idea then its not for you maybe next year?

It is rather hilarious that a 2 bed tent is OK - the bedrooms in these sorts of tents are always at least 5 foot apart, whereas a separate tent is probably within 3 feet and not ok.

Nowt so queer as folk

I am really cross - someone has been persuaded against doing something perfectly reasonable by the "what if an alien space ship lands" brigade.

This child is 8,ffs, not 2, and sleeping about 2 feet away from her mother seperated by 2 thin sheets of plastic.She will be closer to her mother and easier to hear than she is at home.

We are raising a generation of timid, fearful wimps and we have no one to blame but ourselves.

hear hear

My 8 year old DS walked 1/4 of a mile to the shop the other day, and some alienspace ship brigade stopped him and asked him where his mother was

FFS

Last time we went camping, my then 8yo and (disabled) 11yo shared a tent, a short distance from dh's and mine. They were no less audible/under our protection than if they had been sharing a larger tent/cottage with us. If they wanted to be accompanied to the loo they could tell us so. If they had got caught in the zip, they could no doubt have told us so. (If the tent had caught fire or a car had run over us, we would all have been dead.)

op - i definitely would let my 8yo dd sleep in her own tent next to mine if she wanted to.
YANBU
agree with seeker

How about a compromise and open the end of each tent and join them together so she's got the whole tent to herself but at the attached end with the end open?

In principle, I would be fine with the idea BUT if you're not sure and did it any way, I bet you'd spend the whole night lying awake, listening.

I went camping with friends when DD was titchy, she went in her travel cot next to her little friend's travel cot in the big family bit of our mates' tent while I was in the next door one man tent.

She slept absolutely fine, I got no sleep at all listening out for her and jumped out of bed several times (not easy in a sleeping bag) hearning cries from other babies.

I know your DD isn't a baby but I'm given to understand the listening out bit doesn't get much better as they grow...

"BUT if you're not sure and did it any way, I bet you'd spend the whole night lying awake, listening."

So? That's our job as parents! We don't curtail our children's activities to make us feel better = but only if it's in their best interests. We have to deal with our own feelings in private, and smile and wave them goodbye.

Hear Hear Seaker

I do go camping, a lot, and my DS is 8. Have camped with DS since he was 8 weeks old. He is not a fearful wimp. He cycles off by himself, goes to the shop by himself, is allowed to play on the beach or in the rockpools by himself or with children he has just met and we don't know from Adam.

But for me, night time is a bit different. Children can get disorientated when they've just woken, and I'd feel happier if he was in the tent with me.

FWIW I think 8 is a kind of borderline age - it really depends on the child, the campsite, the set-up and so on. I know someone who considered putting a 4 yo in a tent by themselves and I thought this was too young.

My comment was that I wouldn't, and I stand by it. Not telling anyone else what they should do.

Your tent is going to be right next to hers, you can set them up so that the entrances are almost at a right angle to each other. There are friends camping around you as well. She's really looking forward to it and seems to be a sensible 8 year old. I too would let her do it, setting ground rules about going to the toilet etc.
Just be prepared if she finds it scarey to swap the sleeping arrangements.
Sometimes I wonder how children ever learn a bit of independence these days. I suppose the answer is that many don't.

Surely, if the tents were up close to each other you'd still be able to hear her breathing, ffs! I think she'll be fine, so long as she knows she can call out to you and creep into your tent at any time of the night if she wants to.

One thought, though..Are you absolutely sure she's not feeling a little bit uncomfortable about sharing with you and your BF? Would she say if she were?

As a compromise-How big is your tent? Is it big enough for her to have a little 'pop-up' play tent inside for her own 'room', if you decide not to have her outside your tent?

not sure what your tents are like of course, but would it be possible to position them so they face each other very closely. If it were like that, so the entrances were really close, I wouldn't think there was a problem. This would work with our tents, but depends on their design. No probs then with disorientation etc because you'd be right "there" as soon as the door was opened.

Hope you have a lovely time, whatever you do!

ladyblablah

the two bedrooms are often right next to each other - fwiw I wouldn't be happy with the ones where the bedrooms are miles apart either but freely admit to being paranoid about it.

I sleepwalked right out of a tent when I was about 10. noone noticed. I 'woke up' when I tripped over a guy rope and winded myself. was bloody horrible. I was quite a long way away from our tent

I wouldn't. I know various comments have been along the lines of you would hear if anything was wrong. I don't think you automatically would. There are lots of noises on campsites and if you are asleep you may not necessarily realise it is your child who is crying, shouting etc.

She may also think that she can go to the loo without disturbing you and get lost. Ds is 6 and very sensible and that is just the sort of thing I would worry about with him - him thinking he can do stuff to be helpful. There are times when I've gone to the loo in the middle of the night and got lost on the way to or from the block and I'm considerably older than 8 .

SanFairy not being bloodyminded but how far away would the tent 'rooms' have to be to be miles away?

Surely an 8yo can obey instructions if you tell them very forcefully that they are not allowed to go to the loo on their own.

Sleepwalking could happen. But then there is no reason why a child that age could not sleep walk out of their back door at home, having unlocked it in their sleep. You can never be 100% safe.

I've only read the first few (so far unanimous) posts, but I don't see the problem. It is only like her having her own bedroom. How is it any different?

I would do it.

FWIW DD & I have been camping two or three times a year since she has been two, and she has never got up for the loo in the night. Nor has she at home, past about 10pm (when I'm still up anyway)

We are fairly seasoned, but not professional, campers.

I listen out for her. She's my priority.
Seeker's (and others) posts have made me wonder and I don't know what to think now.
Will sleep on it. But thanks everyone, v interesting comments all round.

Love MN

Hey BoF

Bof, I know you're an old romantic, so did you see this

I am

Although, this thread may not be the place for it