Bloody, twatting, (D)F

[Bunnysoprano]

I am absolutely sick to death and need some perspective. However, I should warn you, this is long.....

This weekend, I parked my car in the drive in front of DF's car. We had two sets of keys - DF lost one set but denies it. Usually, I leave my keys in a glass bowl in the hall but, for some reason this weekend, I stuck them in my bag.

Today, I had to leave the house about 5:30am as was travelling for work. Whilst on the train to Glasgow, I got a text from DF saying he couldn't get his car out as I had blocked it in and taken my keys. Naturally (and I do understand this), he was annoyed.

He then got a taxi to and from work today which cost £50. However, he has used the money that I take out each month from our joint account to pay for the cleaner. I am apparently to pay this back as I need to be "punished" (I kid you not!) for what I did today re the car.

I have arrived home this evening at 10:00pm after travelling to and from Glasgow today an d am rather tired. Therefore, I have not taken very kindly to this and am absolutely fuming. Part of the reason is because F is saying that he can't afford to take a taxi to work and back (notwithstanding the fact that he is pretty much a three figure earner). Now, I do accept that it was wasted money due to my mistake but I earn nearly half of what he does. I have just paid nearly £400 for flights this month for us to go to a wedding which has left me very short on the basis that DF would sub me if I needed any money. I trusted him to do this but obviously this isn't happening.

We both put equal amounts in the joint account but just enough to cover the bills so there is no flex. F is making dire threats about not putting money in this month etc if I don't pay for the taxi etc.

I know this all sounds RIDICULOUSLY childish but I have actually had a moment of utter panic and thought that I can't actually marry someone who is going to treat me like this. What if I am off on maternity leave and need "punished"?!?!? Will I get no money.

I am fuming and have actually taken myself off in the spare bedroom to sleep tonight and think about things.

I am quite prepared for a total flaming as I am SO angry I can't think straight but AIBU about this?!?

Checking in to see how you are. Been thinking about you.

Me too. Hope you're still in one piece after last night and get through today- I still think you would be better off bowing out of this lunch, but let us know how you get on.

Hi Bunny, I too am interested to see how your talk went yesterday and what your F came up with (and your parents too).

Continue to be strong!

Hope you are OK Bunny

Hope you are ok Bunny.

Hope you are okay, look after yourself x

hope you are feeling a bit better in yourself bunny, the worst is nearly over, you wont feel half as bad once you have said what you have to say, its more the thought of it thats upsetting you so much Id say, once you face it/him I think you will find yourself more relaxed.

x

deb

Really hoping everything went as well as it could and that he wasn't too much of an arse (although I'm betting that he was).

Things can only get better!

I just wanted to say that when I was in your situation, what kept me going on the days immediately before, and actually leaving..

was saying to my self 'people split up all the time. Today its us'.

It always seems more straightforward for other people. The reason I think is that you are not emotionally involved when other people split up.

I fully understand why you hesitate because someone is coming for lunch sat. Because by saying 'I won't be here this sat' is like saying 'by saturday I will have ended this life as I know it'. We are all creatures of habit and without realising it we often stay with the devil we know, for far too long. Just for the habit and familiarity.

All those years ago on the day I left I was a complete wreck. I felt like I was staring into an abyss and I had no option but to jump. Changing your life is scary enough. but to have to tell a self centred bully that you are leaving him as part of that change, is very very scary.

(but you can do it!!)

Bunny I hope you have dumped him

Bunny, just read the whole thread. Well done for being brave enough to confront your problems now when it isn't too late. It would be very easy to bury your head in the sand and make excuses for him.

Good luck. You can leave him, and the sooner you do it the sooner you can start recovering. Flibberty is right, it will be awful and very difficult, but the bad times will pass and you'll be in a 100% better position than if you marry the twat.

You can leave him and you will thrive.

Just wanted to see if there was an update... hope it went well Bunny, thinking of you.

I hope it went ok Bunny. Thinking of you x

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bump

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I find it slightly disturbing that you both put the same amount of money into joined account even though hea earns muc hmore than you

most couples I know do it proportionately to their take home pay and not halving it

Thinking of you Bunny, hope you're getting things sorted x

HIJACK!

TORTOISESHELLOSTRICH - what happened about your partner in the national park - you never updated the thread about it!!!

link

Now there are two threads of which I want to know the outcome!!

Was just going to say that Hecate!!!!
Are you ok tortoiseshellostrich

Bunny, another person here thinking of you.