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Alcohol support

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The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026

682 replies

Lavrander · 04/06/2026 17:13

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.
There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.
Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.
The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.
So climb aboard and join the shipmates (as well as our dog mascot Sid!) and see how good alcohol free life can be.

OP posts:
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WendyWagon · 29/07/2026 19:36

@CarrotSeeds thank you for the thoughts.
❤️

The cottage was certainly a project. Could be beautiful. Rushed viewing which I hate when they book them 15 minutes apart. Not sure my friends.

REP22 · 29/07/2026 20:59

Sorry if I made your eyes leak @Lavrander. I'm really not wonderful at all. Sid certainly deserves better than me. But we fit together so well - like Mr. Collins says about poor Charlotte in Pride and Prejudice - "It's almost as if we have been designed for each other". Sidney, I hasten to add, is NO Mr. Collins (and no Wickham either, for that matter).

Pineapples, eh...?! They'd chafe a bit, you'd think... Perhaps a can of Del Monte might be a safer alternative. xx

WendyWagon · 30/07/2026 04:21

Del monte, ha!

Well we saw the 'posh cottage'.
Jesus , Mary and Joseph. An absolute money pit. The neighbour had pinched the parking, the whole lot needs work and you would not eat out of the kitchen (and I'm not super fussy)
However a good roof and windows.
So do I want to take it on?
It very pretty, it has a vine over the front elevation (could be wine grapes which is dangerous 😁) It's got two inglenooks. No Aga but nobody wants them so they're two a penny.
The south facing garden was as dry as a badger's bum so I couldn't see any flowers. Ditto fruit trees.

I'd buy the barn in a heartbeat over it but this is a beauty if you have the time and money.

I went to bed very early and kept away from our booze cupboard . The stress has made me very tempted. However three glasses of blue top later I was upstairs and away from the grog.

I'm up doing a spreadsheet. We'll see. X

Gribouille · 30/07/2026 12:51

Oh Sid! Oh @REP22 ! I am so glad you didn't perish on the moors, to live in eternity like howling ghosts... It must have been pretty scary, and people literally can die like that, I send you both a big hug. 🤗 I love that his picture showed up as 'sensitive image' for me... 'paint me like one of your French dogs...' 😂 Does the young gentleman care to swim? Maybe that's the way to go while his paw is still knobbly? Still movement, but at least not weight-bearing.

@WendyWagon , good luck with your house search, you've had a rocky road of it, haven't you? I would totally drop a message to the owner of the one that the snakey estate agents handled - something smells if they're turning down thousands more of ready money... wee bargain for their pal or something... Even if it's just to let them know directly that you'd be willing and able if that deal fell through... you never know when an iron is going to come out of the fire...

@CarrotSeeds , great to hear all those positives, thank you for the inspo! I'm on Day 11 here, and feeling better, but not stellar, frankly... I've usually had a bit of a 'boing' by now, but I'm looking mungy, with dull skin, puffy eyes and straggly hair... This is despite getting much better sleep and finally shaking off a post-viral lurgy that flattened me for weeks, but that I couldn't overcome until I stopped drinking - the difference in that has been stark - what it does to our immune system... 😳

I'm choosing to believe that this is a stage of repair and recovery. I also think there's a bit of a hormonal shift - the oestrogen of alcohol dropping - I've heard it can take 1 - 3 months to settle. I must be patient and keep the faith in sobriety because, as Scrooge's nephew said about Christmas: 'I believe it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!'

😄

WendyWagon · 30/07/2026 13:02

Well the plot thickens. The barn has not gone under offer!
I need to get a friend with a different accent to enquire.

REP22 · 30/07/2026 13:23

Hello shipmates,

Thank you @Gribouille - I LOVE your Christmas Carol quote applied to sobriety - that's genius! There certainly was a short while on Sunday when there was a real prospect of us not getting back safely. But we did, happily, and it does not do to dwell on these things. I put the picture as 'sensitive' for those of a nervous disposition who may not be ready for nudie Sid (and his "Little Sid") in all his full-frontal glory. He's always happy to be "painted like one of your French dogs", hehe. Real-life Sid (and I) have a particular affinity with the Titanic (the actual one). I don't think I've ever actually seen Sid swim. He loves a paddle though.

Interesting about the barn @WendyWagon... I'd say run far and run fast from that cottage. It sounds beautiful but a practical nightmare. And any whiff of a challenging CF neighbour does not bode well for future joy.

Strength and courage. Sid's tail will wag on. x

The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026
Gribouille · 30/07/2026 15:00

Sid! The Heart of the Ocean pendant! Egad! 🤣💙

Whosthetabbynow · 30/07/2026 15:37

REP22 · 30/07/2026 13:23

Hello shipmates,

Thank you @Gribouille - I LOVE your Christmas Carol quote applied to sobriety - that's genius! There certainly was a short while on Sunday when there was a real prospect of us not getting back safely. But we did, happily, and it does not do to dwell on these things. I put the picture as 'sensitive' for those of a nervous disposition who may not be ready for nudie Sid (and his "Little Sid") in all his full-frontal glory. He's always happy to be "painted like one of your French dogs", hehe. Real-life Sid (and I) have a particular affinity with the Titanic (the actual one). I don't think I've ever actually seen Sid swim. He loves a paddle though.

Interesting about the barn @WendyWagon... I'd say run far and run fast from that cottage. It sounds beautiful but a practical nightmare. And any whiff of a challenging CF neighbour does not bode well for future joy.

Strength and courage. Sid's tail will wag on. x

Gorgeous xx

Gribouille · 30/07/2026 19:23

WendyWagon · 30/07/2026 13:02

Well the plot thickens. The barn has not gone under offer!
I need to get a friend with a different accent to enquire.

Ooh! Manifest, manifest... 🧙‍♀️

Gribouille · 30/07/2026 19:26

Though I must agree with @REP22 that a known-CF neighbour would put me off the other house...

Bling Sid just knows he looks fabulous, doesn't he? 🥰

WendyWagon · 30/07/2026 21:26

Well I've decided folks not to go for the money pit cottage. It's too much work and we're too old!
I would find the neighbours too close. I think I'd rather have farm animals.
The new branch manager at the shark estate agent has left a message. Either she's pooping herself because I've complained or the barn is back. No sstc on the portals.
I need a miracle folks.

FiloPasty · 30/07/2026 22:03

I’m manifesting it for you @WendyWagon

Ive been drinking the 0% beers. Enjoying the sun, not listening to very loud wine witch.

44 days until my year anniversary….

Hopeisachoice · 31/07/2026 06:59

CarrotSeeds · 29/07/2026 18:19

@Hopeisachoice Hello 👋

In terms of what I’ve gained through not drinking, I think I would split the list into mental health and physical health benefits. Mentally, l feel more alert, have a better memory and awareness. I no longer overshare and wake up feeling ashamed and embarrassed, I have more self-respect and I feel I know myself better as I’m not drinking away my problems but facing them. I feel I’m a better wife, mother, daughter and friend and most importantly, kinder to myself.

Physically, my blood pressure is now low and healthy when it was high when drinking alcohol, I no longer have heartburn when I previously took prescribed medication, I no longer wake up at 3am with heartburn palpitations and anxiety. The book and podcasts that helped me the most were the Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace. I wouldn’t have believed I would ever actively dislike the taste of wine but now even the smell makes me feel sick. I do enjoy an alcohol free gin and tonic and have one most evenings. It’s become my little ritual but I don’t think it will do me any harm. But my biggest love at the minute is tea! I never would have believed it!

This thread is amazing with some powerful and kind and supportive posters who have really helped me. I think everything has a time and the timing was right for me to change and be better. I hope it’s your time too ❤️

Thank you so much for the time taken to reply @CarrotSeeds. Knowing yourself better as you face problems rings true to me. I'm really getting into a pickle at work as I keep pushing through and not reflecting on whats not working for me. I know i need to learn to say no more as a pretty key essential to protect myself from getting so run down I drink to switch off or just to cope.

Better mum also, I know thats true for me too.

I have listened to so many books, and I do hear of that one repeatedly so maybe worth a try. @REP22 thank you for the recommendation as well. Two to listen to for the morning dog walks.

When I get through the weekend itll be 2 weeks, longest this year. Holiday next week. Feel a mixture of excited for a sober holiday and down about missing out. I know I'm not missing out...

I did one sober holiday years ago and it was one of my happiest holidays ever, I often think back to how wonderful it was xxxx

WendyWagon · 31/07/2026 08:28

Morning all.
If you're that way inclined please pray for me today as the barn is still available on the portals. It's a week since they declined my offer.The new branch manager has left a message.

I had a long sleep and feel better. Stress and heat are not happy bed fellows.
I wish you a safe journey home @REP22 and Sid.

I have a weed free garden courtesy of my neighbours son and hopefully I will finish the sorting today. There's are token piles of God knows what. The toy trains I did last week (DS is 27).😁

REP22 · 31/07/2026 09:05

Thank you @WendyWagon - Sid and I are prepping to depart our cottage. Procrastinating before I strip the bed, but nearly there. Hopefully the drive home won't be too horrendous. M phoned last evening. Apparently she's been in a car crash - she's OK, her car less so. Apparently someone drove into the back of her. Hmmm... I sense a difficult conversation ahead. I'm glad that you had a good night's sleep; it makes such a difference. Sid and I will send up arrow-prayers for you about the barn. Sid was only chatting to the Big Man the other day, as you can see below... And I hope that bl~~dy EA manager grovels to you for their atrocious behaviours.

One of our favourite recommended quit lit writers has their mum (who was a friend)'s funeral today. I'm really sad that I am going to miss it, though M is going. It was her lovely dad's funeral three months ago and I missed that one as well because Sid and I were in Wales, and had to attend online. She was such a supportive and lovely lady and will be very much missed, by me and everyone locally. 😢

@Hopeisachoice - hope your pickles get unpickled soon. "No" is one of the hardest words to say, especially to ourselves. That and "if" (usually accompanied by its regular bedfellow, "only"). But you're choosing hope and doing your very best, and that's a massive stride towards better things. 💐 Two weeks - that's fantastic.

I love an AF beer @FiloPasty - I can leave the AF wine or spirit alternatives, I'd rather have a fizzy soft drink or juice. But I do love an AF beer, I find it very refreshing. Just over a month away from a whole year AF!! You are a warrior titan and an inspiration.

Strength and courage brave shipmates. Have hope in your heart and a song in your soul. You are here and you're fantastic. See you when we get home. x

The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026
Gribouille · 31/07/2026 10:55

Sid: Hello Big Man. Thanks for getting us off the moors the other day.

God: No worries, Little Man. Well done for looking after your Mum. I know she thinks she was looking after you, but we know better, don't we? 😉 [Godwink, lols]. Now, make sure she drives home safely.

Sid: I will. Can I have a potato?

God: No.

Gribouille · 31/07/2026 11:03

@WendyWagon I shall do my Manifestation Dance for you. However, it's uncomfortably like John Hurt's Caligula dance from I, Claudius. If you don't want to see my Manifestation Dance, look away now.

🤪🧑‍🩰

Onewildandpreciouslife · 01/08/2026 07:38

Morning all.
Hope you had a good journey back @REP22 and that there isn’t too much fallout from M’s accident

I really hope the barn works out for you @WendyWagon

Well done for hanging in there @FiloPasty - we can do hard things

I’ve been suffering from treatment side effects quite a bit recently and now have raised liver levels so have to go on steroids, which mean I’ll be bouncing off the ceiling later. At least this time I don’t have to worry that my drinking is making it worse!

ShyMaryEllen · 01/08/2026 14:16

That's an amazing photo of Angel Sid, @REP22 . You should submit it to a competition. If it goes to a vote, let us know and we will all put our crosses in the relevant box, I'm sure.

I've been quiet lately, as I have two family members in hospital just now (MIL and DIL), which has proved remarkably time-consuming. Things are looking up on both counts now, though, thank goodness.

An update - I posted a while ago about the difficulty I had with getting LFTs and the results of a US scan, and things have moved on in that area. I contacted the surgery, as it was an officious nurse - who has form for treating NHS expenditure as though it's coming from her own current account - who cut the LFTs from my annual review (the US is done at the hospital). The GP agreed that I need to have annual tests, and that both she and I need to see the results as the hospital aren't releasing them, so I get one next week and in future they will be done at my annual reviews - result.

Then I rang the hospital and spoke to the hepatology secretary, who has sent me a copy of the US scan report, and advised me to call her after each one and she will post the reports (apparently there is no mechanism for adding a note to my file so it happens routinely). She said that the liver nurse decided only to send out results that are out of kilter, and that includes to GPs. I have now seen the report and it is reassuring, but would prefer it to be on my surgery notes too, as the GP is the primary care source, and IMO should have an overview of everything. Still, if I have any future concerns I have the results in my own files, so I can share them myself. I should see the liver nurse within the year, and will discuss this with her then, as well as the fact that one of the letters I got when she did send them contains wrong information, and see what she says.

The whole thing took an hour or so, which is not a big deal, but I really object to more vulnerable patients being put into this sort of position. I can make myself understood, and am confident enough to stand up for myself, but not everyone can, particularly when they are ill. Despite my initial diagnosis (subsequently shown to be questionable) I feel fine, and would never know I am ill had I not had the diagnosis nearly ten years ago. Also, I have time and private space to make calls that others might not. Making calls about liver disease is not something people might be comfortable about doing in the workplace, and those with English as a second language, or who have learning difficulties/low confidence with medical professionals might struggle.

I am deeply ashamed of the whole bloody thing, and hate having to rehash it with people - particularly when it is on the screen in front of them if they can be arsed to look at it. It's so unnecessary.

Anyway. It seems to be back to business as before, for now anyway. Fingers crossed the LFTs come back clear, which they usually do. I could live with not seeing the US results if my LFTs are ok, but only sending notifications when there is an issue risks nobody being alerted if the letters go astray, which we all know can happen. At least tests requested by the GP go onto the app, so I can see them immediately and they are there to stay.

ShyMaryEllen · 01/08/2026 14:17

Onewildandpreciouslife · 01/08/2026 07:38

Morning all.
Hope you had a good journey back @REP22 and that there isn’t too much fallout from M’s accident

I really hope the barn works out for you @WendyWagon

Well done for hanging in there @FiloPasty - we can do hard things

I’ve been suffering from treatment side effects quite a bit recently and now have raised liver levels so have to go on steroids, which mean I’ll be bouncing off the ceiling later. At least this time I don’t have to worry that my drinking is making it worse!

Sorry you are having a tough time, @Onewildandpreciouslife. I hope the treatment settles down soon, and is successful. x

Onewildandpreciouslife · 02/08/2026 07:03

Morning all.
You sound to have made really good progress with getting transparency about your test results @ShyMaryEllen - it makes such a difference when you get hold of helpful people! But I agree it shouldn’t be this hard - I am very used to “working” the phones, being persistent and getting answers, but it can be exhausting and frustrating.

Hope everyone else is doing OK

WendyWagon · 02/08/2026 10:10

Morning all.
I had a good sleep (I've not been sleeping well).

We're due rain on Tuesday. I'm not a summer person.
Good to know you have some answers @ShyMaryEllen .

I hope everyone had a safe sober Saturday. I had hot chocolate at 10pm and a Danish, oh the excitement. Mind you I woke up well and able to get on with the day. I only used to feel better after 2pm and then I had to start cooking.
The infamous 'going out for a cabbage' was my Sunday trick.

REP22 · 02/08/2026 11:31

Hello shipmates,

Thank you for your lovely words about the Sidpic (you've captured Sid's dialogue very well @Gribouille - he loves a spud).

Top stuff on your persistence @ShyMaryEllen but I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I am someone who would make myself sick with fear trying to sort all that out and fretting about test results. You're right; it shouldn't be that much pressure, especially for someone who already has health concerns. I hope all will be well with your MIL and DIL. 💐

Sorry to hear about the steroids @Onewildandpreciouslife - Sid is currently on them (his paw issue, healing nicely). We're keeping everything crossed that yours will be equally helpful. 💐💐

We had a fairly good journey home. And I know that this is neither the time or the place, but Sid and I are ~~~~ing livid about M's accident. It was not her fault. She was stationary at a roundabout waiting for a tractor to pass and an utter c~ckwomble went hard into the back of her. He immediately reversed, then hit her again as he fled the scene at speed. My DN was in the car with her. He was on his phone at the time and the car was struck with such force that his phone was knocked through the side window. The tractor driver kindly stopped and gave details and fortunately took the hit-and-run w~nker's registration number. But the car is a write-off. Thankfully no physical injuries, but M is devastated (late DDad bought the car for her 5 months before he died, with the money that had just come through from my DGranny's will - last time I saw him alive was in that car when he dropped me off to work 20 minutes before he died). The Police have said that the incident (despite reg number and tractor driver's statement) "has not met the criteria for further action" and nothing more will be done. I'm fuming at that too. It is taking all my willpower not to post the reg number and details on the local FB page and other SM. The end of M's driving life, I fear. Sid and I are heading out in the Sidmobile to collect her from church in 5 minutes. Sid is equally fuming. He wants me to drive everywhere with his little stepladder in the boot - so that if we see the miscreant's car, he can hop up and p~ss in his petrol tank.

At least I have sobriety and a driving licence and can be useful. I am thankful for that.

Sorry for the rant shipmates - please forgive me. Strength and courage to you. It will be OK. xx

WendyWagon · 02/08/2026 13:11

Oh @REP22 you are funny 🤣

WendyWagon · 02/08/2026 13:15

I answered the drunk on the other thread earlier.
Sadly looks like it's a wind up but if not I've given them a reason to hop over here to the Good Ship Sobriety. Lads and Sid in attendance.
There was a surprising amount of good advice from late night posters. Usually it's lots of shaming. I mentioned my dependency a few times years ago and got told I was a waste of space etc.
Thank god for this thread.