The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.
There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.
Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.
The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.
So climb aboard and join the shipmates (as well as our dog mascot Sid!) and see how good alcohol free life can be.

Morning all
Seem to have come down with a cold. Hopefully another day of rest will set me right.

@REP22your M is incredibly lucky that she's not having to fend for herself. She doesn't deserve you. But your words 'I do it because of who I am, not because of who she is' really resonated with me. Wonderful words to live by. Thank you.

When my sister had cancer @Onewildandpreciouslifeshe used to say things like that quite a lot. It probably was a little wicked at times but made her laugh and it used to get her out of a lot of things she didn't want to do as well.

Hope your cold is just a passing breeze, @Lavrander ... DH and I had a doozy last month and neither of us could shake it until we got off the booze, and it was a noticeable turning point... Your sister sounds smashing, btw... 😁

I know Clare Pooley used 'The Cancer Card' to get off a parking ticket @Onewildandpreciouslife ... 😄 My own experience has been that some people don't actually care - their thrall to alcohol is too strong! One woman told me 'Oh, well, let me know when you're fun again!' 😧 (The irony: this woman has NO sense of humour, whereas I live for a good laugh and have worked as a comedy writer and can be wilder in one sober minute than she can in one drunken night)...

Had a busy day out yesterday and enjoyed every minute! Energised, on point, calm... lovely! Absolutely vibing off nature's beauties, the creatures and the colours of the sea... And those hot flashes are finally dying down... It is quite astounding what alcohol does to us, and how long it can take to get over - I used to think I was doing well to have a night off... 🙄

Tomorrow I am on a duty visit to my own 'D'M 👹 and dysfunctional family, I will need to gird myself... She will be trying to turn it into a big, boozy event, as she always does. Easy to brush off but annoying nonetheless, because the lengths she goes to are ridiculous and embarrassingly obvious...

Have a strong and wonderful weekend! Or just get through it quietly. Whatsoever your soul requires right here and now. ❤️

@Gribouille I knew we were kindred spirits. I have a comedy Facebook persona. A bit sweary but it was really funny at the time. I'm now working on my aging 'Mrs corporate gorgeous '. Think Ad Fab. Was hoping to go to Edinburgh but too expensive and now I'm too old.

I'm sticking with the writing. Uni next month.

Hi all, I’ve been following your stories for months, but not posted. I was a regular on here until a couple of years ago and your support was immense. I was dry for three years, then, after I thought life couldn’t get any worse, after losing both parents close together, it proved me wrong. A very close relative was sectioned with psychosis. (Not drink related). He’s been living with me since discharge in February, and it’s been difficult, to say the least.

In Spring I lapsed and started having a little drink in the evening. Ladies, you know the rest. I escalated quickly to more than a little drink. Two weeks ago I forgave myself for trying to block out my feelings and have hauled myself back on the AF wagon. And I need you to keep me on it, And gorgeous Sid, of course. Whoever said it’s a marathon not a race, was right. Love to all x

Ah @Middlemarch123 I remember you.
Good to see you again.

Fwiw I have fallen off the wagon a few times in my four and a half years. Someone on this thread once advised me never pick up the booze for a second night as it starts to alter your brain chemistry.
I ignored them and Jesus I felt extremely unwell.
I could feel a throbbing under my ribcage.

Stress was a factor for me too.
Good luck, We're here for you.

Thank you so much, you and others on this thread get it, no judgement, just support and understanding, means so much right now.

Welcome back @Middlemarch123 - I’m glad you’ve forgiven yourself, and know how hard that can be. I sometimes look back on what I was going through in my worst drinking days, and think “no wonder I bloody drank”.

But we know the only way is to get off that track, or sink further and further down.

You still have all the tools and experience you gained over those 3 years, and you can do it again.

Thank you @Onewildandpreciouslife, I’m focusing on the bigger picture. I’m not going backwards in my long time goal of sobriety. I’m back on track having negotiated a block in the road. But the first few weeks, as I know you and my other friends on here understand through bitter understanding, are hard. But I’m determined to get there. X

I remember a doctor friend of mine years ago saying women drink for a reason. So right.
Those who judge just have no idea what some of us go through.
And all we can do is keep going through.
Have a good day all

Morning
On the mend. One thing I wish I'd done (so I recommend any newer shipmates) is keep a diary and add a bit more 'data' to it. I'm sure I used to get ill more before even on top of the general feeling of lethargy I thought was normal. So I'm grateful for that.

Welcome back @Middlemarch123. You're right, the start is so very hard. But worth it. Here for you.

Goodluck with your Mum today @Gribouille

Apologies for jumping in at the end without reading the whole thread, but it's a tad long!

I've just signed up to MN for the first time and spotted this thread. I'm an alcoholic who's been sober for 17 years. My reason for posting is to add some words of encouragement. When I stopped drinking I was 51. I had drunk every day of my life (other than when ill or pregnant) since the age of 16. I was introduced to alcohol by my alcoholic parents when I was about 8. I truly believed that I would never be able to stop drinking (I had many false starts). I genuinely thought that life without alcohol was not worth living (and I had the kind of life that others envied). If I can do this, so can you. 17 years in, I can honestly say that becoming sober is the best thing I have ever done, for myself and for those around me.

Morning all, thank you @Lavrander . I completely agree @Theworldisyouroystercatcher . I started drinking again because I needed to just switch off for a couple of hours in the evening, switch horrible events off and relax. But things have to be faced and dealt with, drinking makes them worse. So, onwards and upwards.
@Headinthecloudsfeetontheground your encouraging words are just what I need, you’re an inspiration, I hope you’re proud of yourself. I’m in my sixties, and drink has always been part of my life from late teens, interspersed with a few weeks of sobriety here, a few months there. Managed a year of moderating, sticking to under the recommended 14 units a week, three dry days a week before quitting completely for three years.

Such a lovely supportive thread, I hope you all have a wonderful day x

Hello, can I join in please? I’m utterly fed up of alcohol. I’ve tried many times to knock it on the head and sometimes manage a few days, weeks, months, but the habit is so ingrained and has been a big feature in my life - pretty much every event since being a teen and I have friendships built on boozing - so I find it hard to stop completely. I feel amazing when I’m not drinking and wish I could just stick with it. I thought that maybe joining in on here might keep me accountable…

Morning all.
Welcome @UnderSkies

Just a thought on boozing relationships. I lost two friends after I gave up the booze. Both took advantage of my drunken hospitality and poor decision making. Neither seen since, it was about two months after I gave up. One had lied to me and I caught her out, the other had financially taken advantage.

I missed one for years but there we are.
Sobriety means it hasn't happened again.

Hello @UnderSkies and welcome! I think recognising that your drinking has become habitual is a really important step on the route to sobriety. Breaking the habit is difficult but it's all about replacing it with new habits that are better (or even just less worse!) for you and once you have broken the habit, temptation comes along much less often. I am coming up to two years AF and I do still feel tempted, but it's occasional now, not several times a week like it was at first.

You will get great support here and no judgement if you have a lapse.

What non-alcoholic drinks do you enjoy? A good starting point, particularly if you are a social drinker, is to find drinks you can have instead that will still feel like a treat. I like 'posh' flavoured lemonades such as Fentimans, and I'm also nostalgically fond of that 1970s AF favourite, Schloer!

Welcome @UnderSkies ! Have you ever tried using something like the TryDry app? It made a big difference to me because I am ridiculously goal-oriented and I got a bigger dopamine hit from ticking off my teacup at the end of the day than from drinking…. It’s free and you can use it to record changes in sleep patterns etc.

I agree with @Lavrander that I wish I were better at journaling- I suspect writing so much for a living means I struggle to do it in my leisure time, but I do have a few jottings from my early days which are a bit of an eye opener now (“my hands are shaking less..”)

Good to hear from you @Headinthecloudsfeetontheground - it’s magic, isn’t it?

I managed to find my first AF gin on holiday last night! I mean, it took two goes, because they brought me the alcoholic version first, but I’ve learned to double-check loudly first now

Thank you for the welcome.

I’m usually a Prosecco and wine drinker so I’ve tried some of the AF ones, I quite like the M&S one. The last time I gave up, which was for about 3 months at the start of the year, I replaced the wine with the pink Fever Tree tonic so I’ll get some of that in. I also don’t mind a lime cordial and fizzy water. Yeah I love a Schloer - takes me back to Christmas as a kid. I just need to get plenty of alternatives in so that I’m prepared.

On friends, it’s weird. I only have a handful of friends and I think we’re basically all enablers of mindless drinking, not healthy! We all often talk about wanting to cut down or give up and embrace cleaner living but it never seems to happen. I don’t know how I’ll be able to socialise with them unless we just go on walks (but that often comes with a pub at the end!) so I worry that I’ll be even more lonely.

I’ve realised lately that some of my drinking is about not wanting to feel my feelings, or maybe just being overwhelmed by them, if that makes sense? It doesn’t have to be a sad feeling either that triggers me. I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone else?

Morning all 🥰

Welcome @UnderSkiesThis is such a kind and supportive thread and I’m sure you will find it very helpful.
@Headinthecloudsfeetontheground What an inspiration you are. Thank you for your post. I’m heading towards the two year mark (well in a few months anyway!) and sobriety has been the biggest gift I could give myself. A genuine life changer.

@Onewildandpreciouslifehello! Yes I love the TryDry app, it got me through several Dry Januarys, and I also love the hit of ticking the teacup off :) you’ve reminded me to log back in and get on it tonight.

That is a trigger @UnderSkies - wanting that 'mellow' feeling where nothing really seems important, and then (in my case) not wanting to let go of the mellow feeling and drinking myself into oblivion.

I try to keep in mind that, whatever feelings, stress, heartache I want to escape will come back tenfold the following day with a hangover - a hangover is like a magnifying glass on negative feelings. Whereas a good night's sleep when you are sober usually finds you feeling better in the mornings, but at the very least, not worse.

Pubs are tricky. I used to have an almost Pavlovian response to approaching the bar. 'Diet Coke' or 'Lemonade' was in my head but I would ask for a glass of wine or a pint of beer. Again, it is breaking the habit. I can go in pubs now without drinking alcohol - I enjoy a pub lunch with a soft drink or coffee. I do occasionally go with people who are just there to drink, and the main enemy then is boredom. Other people get very boring when they are drinking and you're not. So I don't seek out that experience but I can cope with it if it arises.

Drinking to escape from feelings makes perfect sense @UnderSkies and is a very common theme on here. Once you identify that is what you’re doing it somehow becomes easier to manage.

I’m going through a pretty rubbish time at the moment, and one mantra I use is “there isn’t enough wine in the world to escape these feelings”. I have no idea why it works, but it seems to!

Welcome @UnderSkies! Happy to have you sail with us. This thread is great for accountability because making it a regular thing of just checking it will help keep it front and centre.
On friends and drinking. You may find, as I did, that some of your good friends find it a bit of a relief to have one of you give up. I had a weekend away a couple of months in with two good friends and was so worried about taking my AF drinks with me and feeling like a pariah but they happily joined in on my drinks. Less good friends I have seen less of. I've also been in touch with old uni and school friends that I had lost touch with before (mostly because I had a rule of never messaging anyone when drinking.. which made it rather difficult to actually stay in touch with anyone) and that's been one of the nicer parts of sober life. Now that I have more time on my hands and don't have to even think about drink driving I think nothing of using up a few hours to travel and see someone, and not just that but the WhatsApp conversations make me very grateful to be sober.

What I'm trying to say in a shorter way is you may lose touch with some people, but gain a lot through better relationships with others.

On AF drinks I like the Af Martini Rosso with tonic - like an Aperol spritz, and the Thomson & Scott Noughty Brut - a good AF fizz. I've had it a few wine bars now so keep an eye out.

Thank you so much @Headinthecloudsfeetontheground- really really inspiring.

Morning all.
Cooler here ATM.

I've had a whole weekend not thinking about booze. It's been bliss.
Lots going on but I've been channelling my inner Zen.