The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.
There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.
Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.
The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.
So climb aboard and join the shipmates (as well as our dog mascot Sid!) and see how good alcohol free life can be.

Hello
Hope everyone got through the weekend mostly unscathed?
I had a pleasant afternoon wandering around a local market. So many artisanal booze stands! I'd love to one day see someone come along and do some really good AF stuff at one. But maybe not the market for it yet. But with such a warm day they could be doing AF pimms or something like that.

Hello shipmates,

Late in but love from me and Sid. Hearty waves and wags to all.

@UnderSkies - My drinking was largely to shut out the sound of my own thoughts and to numb the feelings as well. It's very very hard. In not drinking I have had to face the things that were tormenting me - but I am so, so glad I did. The thing is that it creeps up (as you probably know). You need more and more to drown out the noise, and the issues remain with or without the hangover. I'm glad you've found your way to us. The first step is very, very hard. We believe in you - you can do it.

Another heatwave incoming (booo!) - here's Cabin Boy/Powder Monkey Sid in a cool spot, wishing you joy of your Monday and strength of your week. It will be alright. x

Am not looking forward to another heat wave. Everything looks so parched. The grass everywhere is just brown.

Sid's looking charming @REP22

Morning all.
I'm having much better sleep this week. We still have the fan on at night.

I remember the first hundred days mile stone, I hadn't felt as well for nearly twenty years at that point. If you're in the early days that truly is a point to aim for.

I have to start improving my mobility. Once the schools go back I will take myself swimming.

Hello. Well it’s only day 3 for me but I’m already feeling much brighter. Even my skin looks fresher. Today I’m working on my creative summer projects which I’ve neglected so far. Alcohol really dulls my creative spark and motivation and then I end up feeling shit about wasting time, so today I’m focusing on getting back into what I love doing.

Thank you @WendyWagon - Sid likes the fan on at night.

I'm dreading it too @Theworldisyouroystercatcher - it's having serious consequences for me and my colleagues at work, and I worry so much for wildlife too. There was a little hedgehog in our road the other night. I stopped the car to let him toddle off - I really hope he's got somewhere where he can have a drink.

@UnderSkies - that sounds brilliant! Very lovely to hear. I used to think drinking made me creatively better; very much not true. Be on the alert for the little inner voice that starts telling you "you can handle it..." "you've proved you can moderate", "go on, just one to celebrate"... usually around the 4th/5th day mark. Ping them away, they are lies and will hurt you. You don't need the stuff to be the most fabulous version of you. x

Strength and courage. xx

@WendyWagon - or should I say Mrs Corporate-Gorgeous?! - that sounds like such fun! 🤩 I did a gig at the Edinburgh Bookfest many moons ago... lovely atmosphere, hanging out in the Writers' Yurt etc... But too expensive and, indeed, too gruelling these days... I've always found Edinburgh a really exhausting city, for all its loveliness...

I also thought my creativity was boosted by alcohol, but can see what a jip that was now... we're much stronger for cultivating a natural flow by repeated practice, hewing a natural path into that wild part of the mind, than trying to blast our way in there with substances which only leave rubble in their wake...

Anyway, got through the Family Duty Visit but it took me a day and night to get over it... My DSis has absolutely no gene for hosting at all... we eventually had to ask her for a drink (we'd driven a long way in the heat, we were parched), but all she had in was a few cans of the cheapest kind of aspartame drinks, warm and flat... I think, as we weren't drinking alcohol, she was at a loss as to what to give us. I was happy with water, but you know that way when you see the glass with horror and look for a way to surreptitiously wash it... 😬

The men of the family ploughed in and served themselves first, tipping every bit of ice into their own drinks... We were absolutely not brought up like this but DSis married a troglodyte and descended to his level rather than dragging him up... There is no conversation to be had there, everyone just bawls ancient anecdotes at each other while their dog bark bark barks in the background...

There's much more and worse, I won't bore you with it... After a couple of hours of thirst, heat and noise, we made good our escape... I was too wired to sleep much that night, had to catch up in the day, but processed it much better than if I'd got drunk and hashed it all over, as was my old practice.

This is why we only do it once a year, max, these days... When Satan finally comes to drag my DM to hell, we probably won't even do that... 👹

May I recommend a new alcohol-free drink? (I know that some people don't like a 'substitute' drink and can even find it triggering - if so, please skip my post. For me, though, having some 'grown-up' substitutes was transformative in becoming sober.). It's a Tanqueray 'zero' gin (and the funny thing is I was never a gin drinker; it was dry white wine or whisky for me) with a slight orange flavour - they call it 'Flor de Sevilla 0.0%' - it's really delicious, served in the classic way with tonic.

Blimey @Gribouille that sounds truly grim. Well done and top kudos to you for not caving amidst all that. That took almighty strength and resolve. 🏆🌟🏆 No disrespect intended to you - but it does sound like you were viewing some ghastly social experiment gone awry. I'm glad you've pulled yourself free and can view it with wisdom and insight as you do. It must have been really trying for you though. I suspect that poor dog sees things as you do as well.

At least you can put an end point on it (one day). And I only say this as one who (I think) endures similar in my own family, with their own M - but I was reading another thread elsewhere the other day; I don't think it was MN, but it was definitely one relating to care of elderly relatives. A poor s~d with an abusive family was asking for advice on what to say at the funeral of an ER who had been nothing but abusive, sneering and cruel to all throughout his life, from the days of his youth to his end in a secure EMI unit. A regular on there advised that he'd just been to a strikingly similar funeral lately. The least-unwilling adult victim child of said ER dutifully walked up to the front of the church, placed a sheaf of papers on the lectern and then said aloud "I was always brought up to understand that one does not speak ill of the dead." and, with that, he picked up his papers and went back to his seat in the congregation without another word. The vicar was a bit bemused, but no-one else said anything. Hero.

To cheer your spirits, here's an old shipboard favourite - Sidney enjoying the bluebells, perhaps a little more than he ought... 😉🫡

Thanks for the recommendation @Headinthecloudsfeetontheground - that Flor de Sevilla sounds lovely.

Strength and courage. All shall be well. xx

I had to get up last night as I remembered I hadn't filled the little saucer I put out for hedgehogs. I'm not even sure it's being used but I occasionally see one going between the front gardens so I hope it is helping. So I'll keep filling it up just in case.

It is bleak isn't it. I don't like how there's nothing I can actually do about it.

So glad that you're starting to feel some benefits @UnderSkies. As Rep says - use it as your boost to continue onwards and don't let it become your trigger to moderate. The brain will be being very sneaky at this point.

I was ready to drink hedgehog water this weekend, @Lavrander 😁🦔 I put water out for them too, and for the birds, and we have a pond... It's mostly wasps that seem to drink from it in the day but I don't begrudge them... 🐝

I might try that fakey gin, @Headinthecloudsfeetontheground ... I tend to like an alc-free lager, which I never used to drink, but all AF red wine is just heinous... I had a lovely rhubarb and raspberry tonic with a meal the other day when I would have had red and it went well.

Well it's happened again. Outbid on the grotty money pit of a cottage.
Either they're having a laugh or I'll need to change my name and view in dark glasses.

The bff and I are going into battle tomorrow.

Funny thread currently 'what wouldn't you say out loud'.

Morning all.
Oh darn it @WendyWagon

Morning all.

Well I've been reading the thread I mentioned and I've learnt tons.
It's been truly enlightening.

Off to see the cottage today with the bff so I can consider making a further offer.
We had one offer on our house in eight months so I'm gobsmacked at these people bun fighting over every house I look at.
We've always said we should set ourselves up as pacesetters to the property market.
'can sell your house? Mr & Mrs W will pose as buyers and they'll all want it. Own 4x4 and Tweed included. Discretion assured'.

I should be laying in a drunken stupor from the stress but I'm not. I might have finally grown up!

I will not drink today

@WendyWagon bummer!! But how great to stay sober through this - well done you!! Good luck with today’s viewing

@REP22 I love that picture of Sid with the bluebells

@Lavrander the hedgehogs are lucky to be in your area, how very thoughtful of you. I can’t wait for some rain!!

Quick catch up again, summer has been hectic but I wanted to check in and also to give hope to those newly sober. Today marks 100 days for me, first time since I was pregnant (20 years ago!!!) I started this journey in such a low place, feeling anxious, lost, puffy and ashamed. Now, I look forward to my next milestone - I’m in a much better place mentally, my skin feels better, I no longer have shame from hiding vodka under the peas in the freezer and having sneaky sips most days….

Wishing you all a great day and sending strength and courage. We’ve got this!!!

Welcome back @mermadeincornwall x

Lovely to hear from you @TickleMeElmo1 and many congratulations on 100 days!! 👏👏👏

Huge congratulations 🎉 @TickleMeElmo1

I personally think 100 days is the turning point.

Yes I've read the thread end to end. Really interesting reading.
Fantastic to hear from you @TickleMeElmo1and well done on 100 days. So pleased you're feeling all the benefits.
@mermadeincornwallI will not drink with you today.

I've got my shoulders out and my legs out at work today. Feel very daring!

Congratulations on 100 days @TickleMeElmo1 - that's magnificent! 🌟💖 Sid sends extra wags of his tail to you!

I'm with you too as well @mermadeincornwall xx

Strength and courage. It will be alright. x

Congratulations on your 100 Days, @TickleMeElmo1 !!! 🤗👏 I look forward to following in your footsteps! 🦶

Sod that money pit anyway, @WendyWagon - not only are you aceing all this sober, you've got a sense of humour about it... respect due... 🙇‍♀️

Ha, as ever with my family, the real stuff filters through as the days go on... (my princess-stomping about the wrong drinks was just a surface thing)... My DSis is now nudging me to agree that my DM is 'losing it a bit'... She is not - as vile as ever, sure, but all marbles intact, if rolling a bit more slowly and at random these days...

The real issue is my greedy, grabby, dishonest BIL... I know he craves Power of Attorney over DM to stop her wasting 'The Money' (as they charmingly call HER money)... He's the sort of scrote who runs heart-tugging local collections for Causes, then the Cause turns out to be his own pocket, and I hear rumours he's being sued for some of it... So of course I want to prevent that, but not to get dragged into a family boondoggle with them... I don't give a stuff about 'The Money', I hope she enjoys spending every penny on herself... but the thought of that toad pocketing it with his other ill-gotten gains churns my bile...

Le sigh. Being cool, sober, incisive and aloof is imperative in such situations.

Anyway. Day 24! I feel sooo much better than 25 days ago! But I know I have a way to go, and many changes ahead... and I relish them! It's progress instead of stasis.

Excited for the eclipse tonight, and I hope some of them Percy meteors too! 🤪🌒☄️🤞

I love the word 'scrote'.

However even being half Welsh I didn't know what 'there we are then' meant.
Sheltered life🤣

Congratulations @TickleMeElmo1 !

Great to see you @mermadeincornwall ❤

Epic @TickleMeElmo1 100 days is really where you start seeing/feeling so many benefits.

It’s been tricky this holiday but I’m still sober, prefer my routines at home as it’s easier there.