The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.
There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.
Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.
The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.
So climb aboard and join the shipmates (as well as our dog mascot Sid!) and see how good alcohol free life can be.

@Kernowgirl183 Try to think of it as a lapse rather than a failure. You have not failed, you are still on the path to an alcohol free life and you will still have benefited from the dry days you had in the lead up to the lapse.

For habitual weekend drinkers like us, weekends are the hardest bit, especially because so many people drink on weekends, there is a culture of it.

There is no easy solution but the more times you can avoid drinking at the weekend, the more you start to chip away at the habit and association.

Do whatever it takes to begin with. You mention your general, healthy and moderate lifestyle - is there a luxury food you could have instead of alcohol that you wouldn't normally have because it isn't healthy? I got through the early Friday nights by eating chocolate and crisps. Once I was strong enough, I knocked that on the head too, but it was a valuable step in my sobriety journey, so only once I was not experiencing alcohol temptations did I kick my Friday junk food. The calorie intake was no different but the junk food didn't leave me hungover and remorseful. That is just one example of something you could do to break the habit, of course - you might prefer something else!

Thanks for the support @PhantomOfAllKnowledge . Interestingly, every Dry January I treat myself to a certain salted pretzel chocolate bar from a well-known supermarket every weekend, so I'll definitely be picking one up as a reward for next weekend!
Last night we had friends over and then went to the pub. I always find socialising without the "lubrication" of alcohol a bit harder because I'm naturally quite introverted. You'd never guess it if you met me after a few drinks, though!

I'm similar @Kernowgirl183 . I am autistic, there is a saying that alcohol turns autism into autisn't and that was true for me. It is helpful to embrace your introvertedness. A lot of my alcohol-induced loquacity was actually talking rubbish, or, worse, oversharing. There is nothing wrong with contributing fewer, but more thoughtful words to a conversation.

A little thing that helped me when I was bored in a pub while others were drinking was to spend a little the money I'd formerly have spent on booze by spamming the juke box with songs I liked. It also reminded me how much I was saving - a tenner in the juke box was nothing compared to blowing probably 5 times that on alcohol!

@Kernowgirl183 doesnt work for all but I just have pretend benders - I feel stressed and I think wine/cocktails etc is the answer
I start with a 0% rum and coke, followed by a whole bottle of zero wine, I’ve even got the zero amaretto. Sometimes it is just the ingrained habit of pouring the drink.

It's definitely habitual for me @FiloPasty! i need to keep in mind how amazing I feel by the end of January every year, so much so that I often do much of Feb AF....then it goes downhill from there. I remember how difficult it was for me to do Dry Jan that first year (11 years ago), but subsequent years are now easy...because its an ingrained habit these days.

Me again! I dragged myself out for my usual lunchtime power walk today, even though I really couldn't be bothered, and I'm so glad I did.

I've recently started listening to Dr Kelly Casperson's You Are Not Broken podcast for all things perimenopause. I knew she was alcohol-free, so I had a little scroll back through her old episodes to see if she'd ever talked about it.

I found Episode 316 (4th May 2025) - The Alcohol-Free Advantage - where she's chatting to James Swanwick. I'd never heard of him before, but honestly I thought he was brilliant. It gets you thinking about what alcohol quietly takes from you and everything you gain when you stop. I found myself nodding along for most of it!

By the time I'd finished my walk I'd downloaded two of his books on Kindle (they're both included with Kindle Unlimited!). He also has a 90-day programme and online community, which I'm going to have a nosey at later.

Just thought I'd mention it in case anyone else is looking for a good listen. Definitely stick with it until the end.

Hi @Kernowgirl183. You mentioned the Alcohol Experiment? Have you tried doing it on The Naked Mind app? It's just that using the app means that it only unlocks each day, and they're videos plus a little homework. I found being forced to slow down and do something each day rather than just swallow a book in a few hours (or podcasts etc) much better, could that work for you?
The other advice I would give you is make it habit to post here each day. The more you keep your intention front and centre the easier it is to not forget it or feel it's not as important once the weekend rolls around.

You're doing so well @FiloPasty- I can only imagine how hard it is! I would be the same. But your imagined nice positive experience will not stay positive for long and your happy attitude is made possible by not drinking. Take in the sights, smells and experiences clear headed and content.

Thanks @Lavrander im just off now to see if I can find some 0 wine at the local supermarket :) I know it would be a disaster and my teens would be so disappointed in me (even if they are the ones who really are driving me to want to drink lol)

Bless you @Kernowgirl183 - I'm sorry. Be kind to yourself. We can all slip, but our strength lies in how we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down and keep going. 💐

Hassle last night in holiday cottage. The other cottage's smoke alarm kept going off and proprietors had gone AWOL. The guest, a Norwegian lady, Sid and I attempted to sort it and locate owners. I eventually got hold of them - they were due back at midnight. So I waited up for them and, in sheer boredom, watched the new Masters of The Universe film on Prime (it was available free). Taken aback by how much I enjoyed it. Idris Elba is in it and Skeletor (Jared Leto) is hilarious at times. Sid enjoyed seeing Cringer become Battlecat, though has concerns that it might give Parsnip (his feline nemesis) ideas...

We've had a lazy couple of days after our ordeal, but still happy. Annoyed at my wasted planned walks, but there's no helping that. Here's Sid from yesterday, enjoying himself at the head of a lovely river valley.

Strength and courage shipmates. All shall be well. xx

@REP22 i did ask my younger brother if he wanted to go to the cinema with me to watch that as i loved He - Man in the 80’s. Will def watch!

Well today was a good day.
A local teenager has taken over the garden weeding. He's doing a grand job.

I sent a letter to the scumbag estate agent asking why the owner of the barn turned down an extra £25k and an unencumbered purchase? Very fishy as we've had this many times in our married life. Discrimination is rife. I'll let them sweat.

Completely unrelated to drinking but Aldi had tanning drops and I'm going to give them a try to fight the post illness grey pallor. I let you know how successful they are.

Good morning all.
Up with a scratchy dog. He's on the Thornit but if the DD forgets it's not good.

Cooler here but predicted to be 30.

We're going to rent our old flat and wait to see what happens. I've seen so little that suits over the last two years. If we find something to buy quickly well just have to pay some extra rent.

@REP22 that hike sounds terrifying! Pleased you both survived.

@Kernowgirl183 alcohol is such an insidious substance. All we can do it keep trying. If we keep trying we will get there...

Still here. Going ok. Listening to 'on the mend' podcast. They said something like 'the best thing about not drinking is all the feelings, the worst thing about stopping drinking is all the feelings.' I definitely relate to that. Alcohol is been such an emotional crutch.

I'm going away next week which will be a big trigger. I want to get back into running, and had been looking forward to having the time to give it a try. But I'm struggling as my health hasn't been good enough (not alcohol related) still hopeful it'll happen... i need to find something else to look forward to.

Good morning Shipmates,

Glad you're feeling a bit more chipper @WendyWagon - I hope the weasel EA explains himself, or you get some helpful response from the barn owner. Hope the Thornit works well.

I don't think your DB will be disappointed with the film @FiloPasty 😉

@Hopeisachoice I'm so sorry you're struggling. You're doing so well. Better times WILL come, even if it doesn't feel like it at the minute. I'm struggling today too.

SId's paw isn't right - there's a huge lump across the top of it, which doesn't seem to be bothering him at all, though it's bothering me. It's the same paw which was mildly infected. Dr. Google, AI (always a dubious consult) suggests "Bone Reactivity or Calcinosis Circumscripta: Hard, mineralised calcium deposits or localized bone responses from localized trauma can create a stone-like lump over the small bones of the foot." - possibly bone spur then (which is the excuse Donald Trump used for not signing up for Vietnam War duty, so in dodgy company there). He's happy in himself. But I don't want to risk it, and the weather is getting hotter. So I am deeply, deeply frustrated that we are not able to do our planned walks on the moor. The maps and clues sit on the table, laughing at me. I'm stuck in the little cottage and not enjoying my precious downtime and cross and frustrated at the time wasted. We are going to venture out in a bit and sit by a river with a book. I have lots to be thankful for, really. But the temptation is strong, stuck here. I have to remember that because of my past drinking 'career', any relapse is likely to lead to horrors such as flecks of blood coming back up and lasting permanent damage. As much as I love Sid, I do not want him to outlive me. So out we will go with a joyful heart. We might book another week, later in the year, when bone spurs and scorching weather will hopefully be mere memories.

Here he is, enjoying yesterday's river. Strength and courage. It will be alright. x

I'm sorry it's not been the break that you'd hoped @REP22.

Dr google is not to be trusted! Wait until you can see the vet. The good thing is that it isn't bothering him.

You are not stuck - you have a change of plans. Enjoy your book by the river, the two of you. There is a lot to be grateful for with Sid as company. I'm sure he will show you that there is a lot to be said for being together- outside by the river, or inside on the sofa. The answer does not lie in the drink xx

Oh @REP22 that sounds hard. It's so frustrating when a needed break doesn't live up to the hopes. I have everything crossed that tomorrow will be better. A lovely coffee and cake perhaps?

You are right the answer isnt in a drink and even less so when away in unfamiliar circumstances.

Just take it a little bit at a time. You can do this xx

Thank you @Lavrander and @Hopeisachoice - your kind words mean a lot; I really appreciate it.

I went out this morning and gave Sid a walk on a local common, then we met a friend who lives down here with her dogs for a drink and a catch-up (0.00% Peroni for me). It helped to give my head a wobble. After all, here I am in my car, with my clean driving licence, in my holiday cottage - all of which I bought and paid for myself - with a wonderful dog who loves me. Such blessings, which I really have no right to deserve. It was too hot to walk out today anyway, and I'm taking no chances on Sid's paw. (I fully agree about Dr. Google @Lavrander - I am loathe to look up such things. Just type in "how do I peel a carrot?" or some other innocuous query and I can guarantee that "CANCER!" will be one of the top three results; it was just that the bony mass is not something that I've encountered before, and I had a second job in an emergency vets for 4 years).

After that, I headed to my very favourite bit of river (where, in previous years before drinking set in, I used to sit with my beloved late Staffie boy; and of which I site have a poster in my bathroom), where the nearby car park thankfully had spaces, took out my camping chair and sat with Sid for several happy hours reading my book ("Citizens" by Simon Schama, purchased at the V&A's Marie Antoinette exhibition). There was a lovely family nearby, who we chatted to for a bit. Than a final walk on the common again, then home. I am sunburnt but much happier, and with a cheeky pizza for my tea and little pot of chocolate trifle for pud. My own little pudding (Sidney) has got a special treat from the shop too, but he hasn't seen it yet.

In the meantime, there is plenty to distract on the big holiday telly. Last night we found "The Upper Hand" with Joe McGann. A UK version of the US sitcom "Who's the Boss". I watched the latter in the 80s/90s but never the former, so I'm watching it now and quite enjoying it in it's harmless, gentle way. I used to fancy Tony Danza (in the US version). Now despise me if you dare... 😉

Thank you for your thoughtful words - you are right; and I really appreciate you.

Strength and courage. x

Well I'm up super early due to the heat dear friends. I've had two Yorkshire teas so the likelihood of nodding off again is slim!

The DH is back to work today but we have a viewing for a cottage in my favourite village where we saw the 'shed'. It's a pampas grass village if you get my meaning. At least we're too old for that!
This beauty needs work but has some adaptions already. It's really pretty so will attract the London set. It's being listed with the posh country agent who is selling my bling in the autumn.
The big boss there has retired but was a bit sweet on me. Hopefully the goodwill is still there and we don't get shafted like last week.

This heat is too much for me. I need tweed and puffers. At least it knocks the booze cravings on the head. I could never drink in the heat.

@REP22 I hope you have a good day with Sid.

God loves a trier and I'm that if nothing else.

Oh, goodness @WendyWagon - I hope it cools down for you. I wish I could swap some of the coolness where I am for some of your heat so we could both be ambient. It's not even 20 c where I am at the moment and it's breezy, I'm having to wear a jacket which I hate in summer.

Fingers crossed for the cottage you are viewing being what you hope!

What an amazing photo of Sid, @REP22. He is one stunning dog.

Sorry for everyone who is struggling, it’s not easy but SOOOOO worth it. I will be two years sober in October and hope I don’t drink alcohol again.

And sorry for your moving woes Wendy. We moved over 4 years ago and I’m really hoping we never have to move again although we have a huge garden so who knows in twenty years. The right place will come up for you, I’m sure of it. Before we moved to our current house we tried for almost two years to move and viewed well over 50 houses, had offers accepted on several, a couple of sellers pulled out a few days before exchange, and on and on it went. It felt never ending but now we are somewhere we absolutely love and is perfect for us. We never would have found this house if the others hadn’t fallen through and this is by far the best of the ones we viewed.

Good luck everyone. I am praying for rain as the garden so desperately needs it but none forecast until the weekend sadly.

Thank you @CarrotSeeds that gives me hope. It has been two years.

Favourite village and a large garden today.

@CarrotSeeds wow nearly 2 years is amazing. What do you think you've gained?

I've been on a merry-go-round for 10 years and although I've made progress and had great breaks during that time (even up to 2 years) I've always fallen off. I've not managed consistent sobriety of a decent period (to the point its become a habit) for a long time. I am always quietly bargaining with myself and its so exhausting.

My vulnerabilities seem to be stress, drinking to please others (where i will drink appropriately in that moment .... whatever that means but it ends up costing me alot), boredom and dealing with quietening down big emotions.

Have you any words of wisdom or tips to share? X

Good morning shipmates,

Hot here again - we shall not be walking out today. The riverside beckons (a bit later)!. Lovely to hear from you @CarrotSeeds - you are doing so, so well. You're right about the "wait in hope" thing about lovely @WendyWagon's house-hunt. Not strictly related, but after I lost my little dog who inspired me to get sober, I went through awful anguish in the search for a new doggy chum. Multiple rejections and unkind judgements on my tiny HA house, a brief respite when I was able to adopt a young bulldog from a rescue charity, then trauma and heartache when his mental torments (which I knew about and was managing well) suddenly and inexplicably bubbled over late one night and he attacked me. I ended up with armed officers at my house, losing 3 pints of blood and an ambulance on blue lights and sirens rushing me to hospital. The poor boy had to go back to the charity, where I continued to support him financially. Alas, a couple of months later his mental torment was so great that the vet ruled that they must make an exception in this case to their rule of not putting a dog to sleep. Poor thing; he is at peace now. Then there were months of more rejections and sorrow until, one day... I digress (forgive me) - what I mean is that were it not for all this, I NEVER would have been guided to Sid. Each step in that road of wretchedness was a step further along the path towards the little wayward and misunderstood little fellow that would become our Cabin Boy and the joy of my life. And I am thankful for those steps. The poor unfortunate lad did have a couple of happy months in his life and a chance. It wasn't his fault what happened. And it led me to Sid. Have hope @WendyWagon - these are all steps along a path towards a place as lovely as @CarrotSeeds'. ❤️

@WendyWagon - we have got a "Pampas Grass" street in our little town, hehe. For a friend who thought it particularly notorious and amusing, I once made him a Christmas card of the road name sign wrapped in tinsel with a little Santa perched on top. Fingers crossed that this nice cottage might be the one.

@Hopeisachoice - bless you. Your last two are the ones I struggle with most. I'm not sure what to suggest (sorry). I try not to engage in the internal debate with myself. Just "no!" as if talking to a recalcitrant child wanting to play with a chainsaw, for 'tis just as dangerous, really. I found Catherine Gray's second book "Sunshine Warm Sober" helpful for some of this. It has useful stats, anecdotes and some helpful phrases to deploy.

Tomorrow is our last full day on holiday and the weather is forecast to be cooler (a bit). I think we may attempt one of our gentler planned walks. We'll see, but I live in hope. Sid is feeling mended and ready to gently approach some of his duties again. To that end, if any of you have depleted stocks about your cannons, leave the usual tag on your hammock and Sid will don his Powder Monkey apron and trot along with more gunpowder and a fresh wick. He likes his special apron - but I warn you: he's proudly starkers in the picture below from last night...

Strength and courage brave friends. It will be alright. x

Afternoon my shipmates.
I hear that it's pineapples in your front window now. Best keep a look out.

@REP22your story brought a real tear to my eye. What a wonderful woman you are. Sid is so so lucky to have you, as was that bulldog.

The kindness and loveliness on this thread is really quite overwhelming at times. Thank you all for being such a lovely space on the internet I can come to each day. buttons up shirt clears throat goes back to inspecting the cannons

@Hopeisachoice Hello 👋

In terms of what I’ve gained through not drinking, I think I would split the list into mental health and physical health benefits. Mentally, l feel more alert, have a better memory and awareness. I no longer overshare and wake up feeling ashamed and embarrassed, I have more self-respect and I feel I know myself better as I’m not drinking away my problems but facing them. I feel I’m a better wife, mother, daughter and friend and most importantly, kinder to myself.

Physically, my blood pressure is now low and healthy when it was high when drinking alcohol, I no longer have heartburn when I previously took prescribed medication, I no longer wake up at 3am with heartburn palpitations and anxiety. The book and podcasts that helped me the most were the Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace. I wouldn’t have believed I would ever actively dislike the taste of wine but now even the smell makes me feel sick. I do enjoy an alcohol free gin and tonic and have one most evenings. It’s become my little ritual but I don’t think it will do me any harm. But my biggest love at the minute is tea! I never would have believed it!

This thread is amazing with some powerful and kind and supportive posters who have really helped me. I think everything has a time and the timing was right for me to change and be better. I hope it’s your time too ❤️