The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.
There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.
Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.
The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.
So climb aboard and join the shipmates (as well as our dog mascot Sid!) and see how good alcohol free life can be.

I posted on that too @WendyWagon (if it’s the “is my sister right about our drinking” one). I think it’s one of the saddest things I’ve read on mumsnet (if true - and I can believe it is)

That accident sounds awful @REP22 - I hope it doesn’t mean the end of M’s driving because that loss of independence is very hard (for everyone….)

Hi all
Been a little quiet the last few days as been away for the weekend. Had a lovely time at the seaside and feeling refreshed.
Lots of signs for AA around and some rather sad sights though I'm afraid. Not caused by hot chocolate and a danish.

Hi all -waves. Ill just repaste my story in here:

Hi everyone,
I've been lurking for a little while and have finally worked up the courage to post.
About 18 months ago my marriage ended after 15 years together. My ex left very suddenly and never came back. Since then I've been trying to rebuild life while co-parenting two school-aged DCs. One DC has significant behavioural difficulties so home life is often very stressful. about 2 years ago I also had a life changing medical diagnosis.
Somewhere along the way, alcohol quietly became a coping mechanism. It wasn't an overnight thing, it just gradually crept up on me while I was trying to keep everything together.
I also struggle with food, and anxiety has become such a problem that my GP recently started me on strong medication because messages from my ex trigger such a strong physical response.
The good news is that I know I need to change and I've joined this group because I don't want alcohol to be part of my future.
I start a new job soon and I really want to begin that chapter in a healthier place. I'm frightened that if I don't get on top of this now, it will follow me into a job that I'm genuinely excited about.
I suppose I'm looking for people who understand how alcohol can become a coping strategy rather than just a habit, and I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been through something similar.

Welcome @Pokeydokey I'm currently on holiday so will post more another time but glad you’ve found us. You can do this.
My fast tips - download the Try Dry App and buy lots of Alcohol free alternatives they really help x keep posting x

I’m so glad you found us @Pokeydokey - I nearly posted on your other thread but am currently packing to go away.
Im very familiar with using alcohol as a (really rubbish) coping mechanism, but am now 4 years sober. So it’s definitely possible- and the amazing thing is if you can stop drinking you will realise that the alcohol is actually fuelling your stress and anxiety, and making you sad.
Will post more later, but be assured you are in the right place!

@Pokeydokey you are very welcome.

I was the queen of coping with a bottle of wine in me (nothing to see here).

Good luck with your journey and new life.

It gets easier and is so worth it.
I've had a really crappy two years but I've pushed through because I'm now able to think with a clear head.

Keeps me on the straight and narrow.

Agreed - its rubbish!
I just seem to have lost my way - and dont know how to find it again. Im so embarassed. And I most certainly dont want my ex to use it against me (he does tend to use everything against me...literally everything becomes an email, comments the kids make to him (they are playing us off against each other) become "the truth" its just such a horrible and hard time.
Ive an appt. with an ED specialist next week, and family therapy - due to the aggression from my eldest.
Everything just hit at once - suddenly got left, diagnosis, crisis, redundancy, ill mother, moving house - too much!!

DH is now packing and it’s too stressful so I’ll post now 🤣
My relationship with alcohol had always been problematic- I am very shy so alcohol was always the acceptable bridge between how I was and how I felt I should be.
Then a few years ago I went through a horrendous time - cancer diagnosis, combined with having to get a mum with dementia cared for (and sell the family home), a child with health issues, plus a stressful job and lockdown thrown into the mix. I can even now pinpoint the week when my drinking spilled over into more than a bottle most nights.
Then towards the end of the year, I was in the shower one morning and realised that most of my problems were resolved- I was cancer-free, the house was sold, mum was settled in a good home. But now had a problem with alcohol. And like you, I knew I needed to tackle it. So I read A LOT of quit lit, downloaded the TryDry App, started posting on here, drank AF alternatives. It took me a couple of goes, but I’ve now been sober since March 2022.
I came off anti-depressants 18 months after becoming sober, and since then I’ve dealt with the death of my mother and a recurrence of my cancer without reaching for the bottle.

Trying to address anxiety by drinking is like trying to put out a fire by putting petrol on it.

The first days can be hard - days 3-4 are probably the hardest. After 10 days your cortisol levels should normalise, and people usually start feeling better about then. 3 months is about when your base levels of happiness and anxiety will start to rebalance.
(Just a health warning, if you’ve been drinking very heavily, it may not be safe for you to stop suddenly, so may be worth discussing with your GP).
All you can do is take it one day ( or hour, or minute) at a time

Afternoon Shipmates.
Apologies for my long hiatus but I’m pleased to say still AF and I’m 251 days off the booze.
I’ve needed a bit of time to get settled in my new job and the new area which has been pretty time consuming. Leaving a toxic workplace has definitely been good for me but I realise my job in any sector isnt without pressure so I’ve been adjusting a bit.
But while I know people bob in and out of this thread I realised I’d disappeared and people might think I’d faltered (it’s happened before! ). But I’m healthy and happy and that’s been influenced hugely by the wonderful people on this forum. Have a fab Sunday.

Hello @Carpetburn .
Good to see you.❤️

Hi @Carpetburn. I hope all is well with you.

@Pokeydokey, the advice I always give to new shipmates is to take high strength Thiamine (vitamin B1) for 6-8 weeks after stopping, to give your brain a chance to get back to normal. Some people are left with brain damage if they stop drinking suddenly. I think it's quite rare, but obviously devastating when it happens, and Vit B1 is harmless and easy to get, so it makes sense to take some. You can't overdose on it, as you excrete what you don't use.

Also, this may be nonsense, but I think the habit of taking it three times a day is a good way to remember that this is the new you, that you are now doing things to make your life and health better, and this will make stopping easier. Each time you swallow a pill you are reminding yourself that you are now a non-drinker, and that your body is healing. I'm a firm believer in replacing bad habits (eg drinking) with good ones even though they may seem forced at first.

Anyway, welcome aboard - it's good to have a new crew member in our ranks.

Hello shipmates,

Just back from cricket (we won!). Thanks for the kind words.

Hearty welcome to @Pokeydokey - I'm so glad you've found us. This is a great place to be. I'm so sorry life has given you such an unfair battering; you didn't deserve that. I used alcohol to cope and shut out the horrible life I was living and the intrusive memories. Drink is such an insidious destroyer of souls. It makes us think it's our safety net, our crutch, or confidence. Like a cherished friend who is always there for us in our darkest moments. Only for us to discover that the "friend" has actually been live-streaming our slow decline into addiction and misery to the world for sh~ts and giggles. But you should never ever feel bad or guilty that you find yourself here. Life has dealt you a cruel hand lately - no wonder you tried to seek solace in something close at hand. It takes a lot of courage to admit you might have a problem and ask for some advice. You are strong - and you definitely have it in you to conquer this and be free. Keep posting here, if you want to, people here are amazing.

Fantastic to see you again @Carpetburn - I'm so glad you're hale and hearty and sailing with us.❤️

I saw that other thread (the "sister is overreacting" one) @WendyWagon and @Onewildandpreciouslife - what a sad procession into drunken belligerence it turned out to be. It saddened me deeply. I saw elements of myself in some of it - posting increasingly incoherent sh~te until stupid o'clock or until I passed out (usually both). Sadly I expect that the OP won't be back and will ask for the thread to be deleted, which is a shame, as there was much that was kind and helpful posted there. But it's so hard to pull free when you're in the throes...
I will hope that the OP's meltdown perhaps is a helpful step on the path to realisation and a happier future.

Here's Sid at the boundary today (look at the state of the grass!!) with his special cricket chew. Which he absolutely is not pretending is a cigar and that he's Boss Hogg off of The Dukes of Hazzard.

Strength and courage. It will be alright. xx

Morning all.

Morning all
Welcome @Pokeydokey. You've come to the right place. Look ahead to discovering the you that was always there.
Hello @Carpetburn! So glad to read you're happy. I hope the job is going as well as it can.

At the moment I am just cutting down gradually - rather than going cold turkey - just trying to get a lid on it before a) going on holiday with family and b) new job!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Kick-Drink-Easily-Jason-Vale/dp/1845903900/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=3T55Y3OATKJ82&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Mdz0dC7YN1HOYk9mP_02bbjoYUZAoaLLG8iG_tbvfbT2aadOFF6wrycddkM8h1pc0qpsJIR1vHE7-MeLLBScorTaA4cvNjlvHttiZAEaCFQ.nUlJnON_kG7TNimc9Qy-_lU6IVtPoYTXNPuA9mkA5II&dib_tag=se&keywords=jason+vale+stop+the+drink&qid=1785747830&s=books&sprefix=jason+vale+stop+the+drink%2Cbooks%2C117&sr=1-1

This is an old one @Pokeydokey but I found it v helpful and you don’t have to stop drinking until you finish the book

Morning all.
Not too well today.
I hate this heat.

Morning.
Yes I'm starting to check the weather obsessively to see when it will next rain. It promises but if it's below 50% chance then unlikely.

Morning shipmates,

Sorry you're not feeling great @WendyWagon 💐 Just checked the weather myself @Lavrander - bit cooler to come here, but no rain alas. I will send Sid up on deck to do a rain dance - if you hear eerie grunting, thudding and canine mutterings - that's what that is... x

If Sid does his rain dance and I do my John Hurt Caligula dance, @REP22 , I'm not sure the boards could stand it... 😱

Can I join the I Hate the Heat Club? 🥵 I have autoimmune stuff that I'm sure is not helped by it, feel like all my cells are swollen... it's pretty much futzed my summer this year, I don't want to/can't do anything...

And since stopping the toxic slop 16 days ago, I have been sweating like Shergar - it's like a return of my meno hot flushes from ten years ago... A worried consultation with ChatGPT assures me that this is a normal reaction to the recalibrating oestrogen levels, and to give it a couple more weeks, so I shall see how I am nearer September.

But I've effortlessly dropped a few pounds, sleeping so much better, and starting to get the old optimism back! Loving this! Onwards! 😄

Well I think the dance worked. We have rain! And just as I'd watered the plants and filled up the bird baths too. Please give Sid a butt scratch from me @REP22

Yes it does sound like it will be your hormones sorting themselves out. Alcohol does play absolute havoc with them and your body is probably having a bit of a wobble. Great news on the sleep and weight loss though. Very motivating @Gribouille

Hurrah! Glad Sid's hellacious hula and @Gribouille's Caligula cavorts have done the job for you @Lavrander! Bit cooler here too but no rain, so Sidney jives on (see below)...

I'm in the Hate the Heat club too @Gribouille - I'm similarly afflicted. I do my best for Sidwalks, but the going is tough. I agree that the sweats do sound like your body sorting itself out. I had that too. It will resolve itself once your body works through its recalibration. So many people give up at the sweats, sadly condemning themselves to worse ones next time. Keep at it; you're doing great. xx

Thank you Sid! (I just tried to @ Sid there, lol...) 😆 Got rained on today! Like @Lavrander , I too had filled the bird bath and hosed the garden (muttering 'it gets the hose again...'); but I hope that means the rain will soak into the softened earth rather than bouncing off...

Sid is doing a real Victory Roll there, isn't he? ✌️

Been AWOL as home internet was awful and kept getting worse and worse but yesterday switched to full fibre which our area can finally get.
It poured here yesterday. Good for the garden but not my washing. We ignored each other. It's still out having has an extra rinse
Have a good day all