Calling Time on Wine - the next 100 days after the first 100 day reset | Thread 3: Continuing to support and navigate together.

[needastrongone]

As promised, a new thread.

As the title states, this is the third thread. It started for those of us who wanted some support and a safe place to navigate a 100 day alcohol reset. Most of us on the thread wanted more time and space than Dry January to fully reset and maybe reflect more on our relationship with alcohol than one month.

What we also found was the most wonderfully supportive and uplifting set of folk, all with the common intention of being AF from January for 100 days. A few blips along the way for some (including me at the beginning) but for those that have, we’ve tried to understand why they happened and most of us have continued to be AF going forward and managed 100 AF days since January.

We are going for another 100 (we all liked the idea of breaking being AF into chunks of time) and I don’t think it matters one bit if new folk want to climb on board and start from here, we can all offer a friendly and non judgmental place here.

Morning! @IjustbelieveinMe nice to hear from you - what an amazing experience you had at the concert. I’ve had 10 nights alone as the teens are with my ExH. Should have come back yesterday but he’s done usual number and kept them an extra night - purely to piss me off and didn’t think to tell me! This did send me into a spin and for a brief moment I did think about having a glass of something to take the edge off it .. but didn’t! I was very close for the first time ever 🤯 that made me rethink why I stopped in the first place. If anything it was good to revisit the ‘why’ and play it forward. I’d have been so disappointed in myself had I picked up a glass of wine/prosecco. @PeacheyPeach don’t be too hard on yourself! Please remember all the hard work you’ve already put in, it’s so bloody hard to be alcohol free. The summer heat isn’t helping - everyone is out in the bars sipping cold wine 🫣 Hoping the boys come back today but not holding my breath.. they’ve missed their barbers appointment before we head off to Croatia and my sons braces appointment this morning is now out the frigging window - having waited months to get to this point I’m furious that the implications of that man’s selfish actions has impacted our plans. The fact that he didn’t even tell me is the part that makes me cross.. I’ll draft an email when they are back letting him know the chaos he’s caused. For now I’ll focus on me, the weekend cleaning and life admin - he can f’off.

@therockingbird I’m annoyed on your behalf!

@PeacheyPeach honestly, having the mindset that I can have a drink if I want one is what keeps me going. I do think at some point I’ll probably have a glass of wine and see how I feel, and definitely wouldn’t feel that this wiped out all the days I’ve made a different decision, and all the occasions I’ve navigated when it would definitely have been the easier choice.

Back from a week away, 80 days today, have definitely been challenged at times - old habits are strong - but still feeling weirdly off it which makes it very much easier. I think the novelty has worn off a bit for DH now, he’s lost his main drinking partner.

12 week check in ☺️

how’s everyone getting on? x

well done daftpenguin. 12 weeks is brilliant. I just counted them up - 33 weeks or nearly 8 months.

I wake up every morning glad I am not drinking.

Well done @DaftPenguinand @anewyearthisyearI had to check my calendar to see where I was now, I think around 220 days?
really interested in how everyone is finding life and adapting etc. even though I know I am not drinking I still feel as though I selfishly need to read others experiences to keep on track and know to persevere.
i’ve had a few dreams where I drink, but when I wake I am so relieved. I have started to wonder, could I have a couple with a friend after work? But just limit myself to only occasionally allowing that and no drinking at home on my own.
But I am terrified to enjoy it too much, acquire the taste/feeling and be back to one bottle a day.

Thanks both ☺️ it is starting to feel like an achievement, I’ve been inspired by everyone on this thread.

@IjustbelieveinMe as I get closer to 100 days, I’m starting to wonder what shape my drinking will take. I definitely don’t want to go back to where I was before. Does that mean I can’t ever touch another glass? I honestly don’t know.

Hello gang! Happy weekend to you all. Well done @DaftPenguin 👏 33.5 weeks here 😲 day 235! Frick who’d have thought that was possible. I get you @IjustbelieveinMe.. I have debated the whole - could I have one or two to be sociable 🤷🏼‍♀️ would I enjoy it too much? Would I spiral straight back to a bottle of wine a night! I’m actually scared if I’m honest. What do know is, when I started this 100 days reset I’d done my research and knew something had to change. I wasn’t quite an alcoholic but if I didn’t stop I could well have been soon. Do I risk that again? Honestly-I just don’t know. But for now .. I’m sticking to the plan. One year, no alcohol 💪 Holiday next week.. I tend not to drink when I’m away so that easy lol

Hello people.

Hope you are all okay. Good to hear from folk. Hoping you are okay @SwiftyFifty and @PeacheyPeach.

So I can shed some light on this having an occasional drink thing. I have had one glass of wine twice in the last ten days/two weeks. Really for all the reasons folk would mention on here - curiosity, ‘enjoyment’, celebration of a small life event for one time. I measured out a small glass - I realise now what an actual small glass looks like and it’s not a small glass in the way I used to think it was - it’s tiny. Did I have any trouble stopping after that glass - genuinely and honestly not, it didn’t even occur to me to pour another. Did I enjoy it? No - and that surprised me - my first glass was always my favourite glass (I realise this sounds awful now). It made me feel spaced out both times. So that lovely ‘hit’ I used to enjoy I definitely didn’t get, I was weirdly spaced out as I say and knackered the whole evening (like a hangover). I also slept really badly - despite having just one and both being early evening so plenty of time for the alcohol to pass through my body. I don’t want to experiment again but I’d probably be okay having a sip of champagne or similar for a toast very occasionally. How do I feel? Weirdly disappointed that it tasted shit but vastly relieved I’m not escaping into a red wine bottle and it just doesn’t have that peculiar hold on me that I’ve worked so hard to undo. I don’t think it’s a failure - my total mindset has changed. I’m sort of glad both times had the same effect too.

And I’ll be happily trundling along AF here again with the rest of you but thought I’d be honest because even though it’s only my experience, I think most of you have had a similar mindset switch. X

That’s really interesting to read @needastrongoneand very enlightening, thank you for your honesty. I am so glad for you that alcohol didn’t serve you the way it used to and you were able to stop after the small glass.
Thank you @therockingbirdtoo. I am changing my mindset to focussing on 12 months now too so would love to continue to follow your progress. I think just focussing on 1 year just makes it easier doesn’t it - no negotiation.

i was listening to a podcast recently where an alcohol expert was saying if you find energy from drinking alcohol than you are more of the type of person to become addicted to it. Whereas if you feel sleepy after drinking you are not. not sure how true this is? But I definitely fit into the energy type, I’d always be the one shouting come on let’s go to a disco! My friends responding with “it’s a Tuesday” 🙄

That’s interesting @IjustbelieveinMe - I am 100% a sleepy drinker 🤣. Although my relationship with alcohol was (is still?) unhealthy. I wonder if we all have ‘wine noise’ instead of the food noise folk that have an unhealthy relationship with food have. So we really have to work on not drinking to excess, or indeed at all.

Since my last update I've drank on and off. Worst was 1 litre of vodka over three days had the worst hangxiety ever! I can't justify why, I just pressed the fuck it button and went on a complete bender. Dried out for a week then went to a music festival completely sober and had a really good time. I've had talking therapy, CBT for Ptsd but alcohol always pulls me in. I was feeling so good at 200 days sober but had this niggle, my thoughts were too loud and constant alcohol stopped them. I've been in touch with my GP again they've been brilliant I've had an HRT review and adjustment. I'm now back not sure what my count is, I'm not counting anymore.

@Icecreamhelps❤️. I know, alcohol just numbs it all so well sometimes doesn’t it? Completely get it. You certainly don’t need me to tell you though that that’s all it does - the emotions and difficult feelings are still there. The 200 days are still done, this is such a great achievement in itself. And all the good work is still there too. You pressed the fuck it button and now you know what is does and doesn’t achieve. I think 200 days is the ‘should I scratch the itch?’ time too.

Let’s keep going ❤️x

Thanks @needastrongone you are so right! I just wanted to share my experience. Whilst being sober certain family members ramped up their unhealthy behaviour and that was a massive trigger. I've now blocked them and I'm trying to go no contact. I obviously shone a light on how they cope with things and they didn't like seeing me doing well. Being sober really does bother some people.

@Icecreamhelps I really admire you for making yourself accountable and for the steps you’re taking to look after yourself.

Your last sentence is strangely relevant to what I wanted to ask today.

Now that it’s been a few months, the people closest to me are no longer supportive, but rather openly disappointed that I’m not drinking. I’m finding this really hard. I was expecting it from the friends who don’t know me as well, but these people know the impact it was having on me.

Any advice would be welcome 🙏

hello lovely ladies checking in first time in a while . I haven't drunk since 3rd Jan . started as dry Jan then I thought I d push to valentine day then I found this group .

I just did not realise how impaired alcohol made me ....
I am so much sharper at work , I ve taken on extra as it takes me about 2/3s what it used to .
My emotions much more stable I still get stressed but I m able to shrug it off
And I ve lost 10kg , not rapid loss by any means just slow and steady 1-2kgs a month .

Morning.

@Icecreamhelps - we are NC with a close family member. It helps my mental health massively, even if I sort of still know it’s in the background - particularly on birthdays and other notable dates. I’m learning to try and protect myself and have boundaries though and to give us a little space to process some thorny stuff. Being sober for some folk seems threatening doesn’t it? I have no idea why - as you say, it probably means they know they should reflect on their own behaviour.

That’s tricky @DaftPenguin. Remind me, have you specifically outlined why you’ve chosen not to drink to them? I found being really honest with folk helped - that I had a problem with alcohol and was using it in the wrong way, which was negatively affecting my whole life and I wanted to change my relationship with it. It took me a while to admit that to them, and honestly to myself though. Dry January etc are good guises for more difficult reasons than post Christmas excess etc. If you’ve done that then I’m not sure what to advise really, other than it probably makes them feel uncomfortable about themselves perhaps?

Ive woken up really fresh after my fourth excellent nights sleep but nothing else exciting to report!!

Hi all, great to hear the updates. I know what you mean about the itch, I’ve had it recently but then when people ask me or I ask myself, could I not just have one now, my answer is an emphatic no. I drank to get drunk. Every time. Sometimes I get a flashback of my actions and how much I drank and it horrified me so much it makes me sharply realise I shouldn’t drink again! Hard to admit and I don’t dwell on it but I was becoming worse and worse…
Ive socialised a bit and still don’t enjoy it as much, There’s no anticipation of a great night/ afternoon but then there’s no regrets/ hangovers/ squandering of money/ saying things I shouldn’t etc so I have to think of it as a whole experience and not just two hours in the pub!
The benefits are still huge- improved fitness, massive weight loss etc, great sleep so I’m sticking with it!
I don’t ever wish I wasn’t a drinker and had never drank, I wish I was one of those who could moderate. And wine gave me sooo much energy- I would literally drink whilst doing massive spring cleans.
Still think I wouldn’t have come this far without this thread and the wonderful support. It really helps to hear peoples updates and read the responses.

Hello, I’m back again feeling rough and hung over after a big day of socialising and drinking yesterday. Fortunately I have today off work.

I urgently need to stop drinking again but I’m finding it so hard. I wish I could do another three month stretch like I did at the start of this year but feel daunted just thinking about it.

As a first step I’m going to try not to drink tonight. Surely I can manage that?

@freshstart2026 - lovely to hear from you. No need to commit to 3 months or even 3 days. Just commit to one day at a time. You can choose when you decide you have had enough of each day. What would you gain from drinking tonight? I’m absolutely sure you can manage it!

I love your insight @SwiftyFifty, re drinking to get drunk and yes I can understand why you don’t fancy trying again! I sometimes think we can dwell on stuff too much, ruminate if you will and that’s not good for us so leave any actions in the past because you can’t change them, just change your behaviour going forward, which you have. Probably shouldn’t have giggled to myself but the idea of you with a feather duster in one hand and a large Chardonnay in the other did amuse me. 😊. I agree - too many benefits to go back to chucking a bottle a night down my neck for me too.

@needastrongone thank you! I’d gain temporary escapism if I drank (I’m in that doom loop again where I feel anxious partly due to being hungover, partly due to a few problems I’m experiencing right now - so I drink to escape). But “temporary” is all it would be.

In bed and sober. Feel terrible still from the hangover but relieved to be AF today. Night all.

And you’ll sleep brilliantly tonight @freshstart2026, well done, one day at a time is all we can ask of ourselves. Good night 😊

Morning all, @freshstart2026 sending hugs your way today. Please focus on the good work you’ve done and for also recognising that alcohol isn’t actually serving you well. One day at a time my lovely. Just checked the dry app, this is day 241 😲 meaning in 124 days I’d have completed a year! Most nights it doesn’t even cross my mind - I can’t tell you how often before quitting I’d have that internal voice reasoning with me to drink.. making excuses to go to the supermarket just to buy wine. Ordering a woosh delivery with random stuff just to buy wine!! I must have saved a bloody fortune.. it really wasn’t healthy looking back now! This week we’ve also had the sad news that one of our colleagues has suddenly passed, many were shocked but unfortunately I wasn’t. Being aware of his struggles with alcohol which had really gripped him in recent years it was a stark reminder of what could happen. It really frightens me that this addiction is a killer but no one talks about it openly. Off on holiday today, in the past I’d have had a plan in place to buy wine at the airport so when I arrived at the destination I’d have that evenings bottle ready - the more planning of it all must have been exhausting! Now I’m happy with a hot chocolate and an early night lol. Right.. must dash sh*t loads to sort out. Happy weekend to you all xx

Hello everyone - I was on this thread a while ago (and found it helpful and supportive) but have dropped off for a while due to diagnosis and now ongoing treatment with medical issues (risk of which are related to alcohol consumption).

What's done is done and here we are. I wouldn't recommend this as a way to bring about abstinence! - but I am aware that not drinking, I can cope with it all a lot, lot better than were I throwing alcohol into it all now, which I could but I'm not.

I'm going to try to figure out how to mute / leave the thread given all this going on now, but just wanted to say all the best to everyone - it's not easy for any of us in the booze-pushing environment and I think that consciously trying and engaging with ourselves in all this, and talking honestly to others is great. As I say I found discussions here very helpful back before everything kicked in. Take care!

Sorry to hear this @CoffeeCupMilk sending you all our support and love. Thank you for sharing and I really hope you get better. Bloody alcohol