Calling Time on Wine - the next 100 days after the first 100 day reset | Thread 3: Continuing to support and navigate together.

[needastrongone]

As promised, a new thread.

As the title states, this is the third thread. It started for those of us who wanted some support and a safe place to navigate a 100 day alcohol reset. Most of us on the thread wanted more time and space than Dry January to fully reset and maybe reflect more on our relationship with alcohol than one month.

What we also found was the most wonderfully supportive and uplifting set of folk, all with the common intention of being AF from January for 100 days. A few blips along the way for some (including me at the beginning) but for those that have, we’ve tried to understand why they happened and most of us have continued to be AF going forward and managed 100 AF days since January.

We are going for another 100 (we all liked the idea of breaking being AF into chunks of time) and I don’t think it matters one bit if new folk want to climb on board and start from here, we can all offer a friendly and non judgmental place here.

I’m really glad I found this thread, haven’t posted again since I joined but have been lurking. Do any of you plan to have any drinks at all - holidays, odd celebration, or is the aim to be AF for as long as possible, hopefully forever? I’m in a place where i’m not drinking sensibly- every weekend a bottle or two of wine or a bit more, disturbing my sleep and I’m worrying about the health impacts now I’m approaching 50, so trying to break that cycle.

@PeacheyPeach drinking dreams are so weird I've had a few, and the relief of waking up and realising it's just a dream.

I'm on 120 days tomorrow, I've not had any cravings for a few weeks now. I still check in on the try dry app every morning to commit for that day. It's ingrained on my psyche now once I've done that I know I won't drink that day.

@Imaginingdragonsagain hi nice to hear from you again.
At first I was just committing to 100 days, but it didn't feel like long enough for me (I was drinking everyday). I'd really like to do a year so I've covered all the different circumstances a year could bring. Breaking that down into 100 day challenges makes it seem more manageable.

100 days is amazing! The try dry app has given me a challenge to the middle of June which seems a long way away!

@Imaginingdragonsagain it can feel like that to begin with but the time flies after the first month. I just wish I'd done it sooner.

Day two ticked off. I said it before but it’s worth saying again - it feels sooo great to be back on the wagon and in control!

Well done on day 2 @freshstart2026

@Imaginingdragonsagain it's scary how quickly the time flashes past. Try not to think of the future just " I will not drink today" if you wanted to build a house you wouldn't immediately have a full completed house, you would start with one brick. Each day sober is one brick of that house (God knows where the house came from but there we are)

@PeacheyPeach I can't remember having dreams where I've drank alcohol but I have had a few occasions where I've woken up and still feeling a little bit groggy thought, oh I shouldn't have drank so much last night, then remembered that I didn't drink anything. The relief is amazing.

Checking in dry on day 124. I've had no cravings or thoughts about drinking. Still reminding myself frequently about my whys and very much thankful for being dry.

Wishing us all luck and strength for the week ahead.

@freshstart2026 you are doing better than you give yourself credit for. Keep going 💜
@Ladymuckypuddle I love your house building analogy.

Wishing everyone a lovely day.

Thank you @Icecreamhelps! I’m determined to be really on it at work this month. Not possible if you’re hungover every day and dragging yourself into work feeling rough!

Hmmm I had a few drinks (special occasion) at the weekend, after months of avoiding it.

I'm very happily married and not normally an anxious person. Yet I went to bed convinced that no one had ever loved me (including my wonderful husband - I just decided he'd been pretending for the past 15 years!) and I might as well dispose of myself quietly. Recognising this as alcohol-induced paranoia, I tried to talk myself out of it by reassuring myself that everything would be fine again in the morning, which of course it was. And yet at the time I simply couldn't believe it. My life and everything in it was shit.

I reminded myself of this last night when we got back from a long walk that took us past endless BBQ parties in people's gardens. The joyful bank holiday celebrations tempted me to pick up someone on the way home. I'm so glad I didn't bother! The yearning was there but disappeared as soon as I'd had dinner, and then I was just really glad to be sober. I do find that hunger seems to contribute to the booze pangs.

On a practical note, my favourite 0% tipple (having worked my way through quite a few!) is the Aldi fizz (they do white and rose). To me, they taste much more sophisticated than the usual ones. I quite like the Kylie fizz too, but have no idea how anyone ever gets the cork out. Even my DH struggled with it!!

@Beachtastic it’s mad how much alcohol messes with your mind isn’t it? You really notice the difference when you have a few months off then start drinking again. It’s very, very illuminating.

Yes! I think because I've really been focused on fitness this year, I'd reached a fabulous state of feeling good on a daily basis. So the disruption was very obvious.

The next day, when I confessed to DH all the dark thoughts that had been going through my mind, we had a laugh about it. But it was a horrible dark place and at the time, I could see no way out of it. Logically, I supposed I was being irrational. But I couldn't get rid of the feeling that I'd somehow been tricked into believing that life was great when in fact there was no point in living. Or maybe had tricked myself, which was even worse because it meant I could never trust my own perceptions and might as well give up on life altogether. Madness!!!

I just noticed a typo

The joyful bank holiday celebrations tempted me to pick up someone on the way home.

I meant of course "something"!!!!! Picking up someone on the way home tells a completely different story!!!!!!!!!!!! 🫣🫣🫣😜😜😜😜

Ha ha I was going to comment! Oh the heady days of getting drunk and picking someone up on the way home….

😆😆😆

Yes, there's life in the old dog yet, but not quite on that scale 🫣😁

Morning all xx

@Beachtastic that must have been so sad for you to be feeling like that and scary to have those feelings but it was good that you were able to actually see through it for what it was, and know that it wasn't true, thanks for the Aldi tip will give one of their 0.0 a try!
I'm feeling actually exhausted today I don't know why, I feel like I've had a drink last night its so strange,

Since becoming really nerdy about fitness this year, I've learned (from "recovery" data like HRV) that dips such as this can happen because of a gradual accumulation of stressors. It's not just about physical tiredness: is very easy to overlook or underestimate things that have an emotional burden. For example, I learned that walking 7.5K drains me hardly at all. Sorting through old family photos after a bereavement, however, was like climbing Everest!

Be aware of what's wearing you down at the moment, and just be patient. This will pass, like the weather, and you will feel fine again. All that freshness is all still there in you, you just can't "access" it at the moment. Go gentle on yourself this week and you will feel better soon.

@Imaginingdragonsagain re your question about whether the aim is to be alcohol-free forever or to have exceptions...I have been mulling this and I'm not sure. First aim is to have a good break to properly shake off the compulsion side of things. (Is that possible?)

Have been trying to take a proper more honest look at whether or not alcohol is worth it in some circumstances... If even after a good break drinking even occasionally has the impact on sleep and mental health it did before, then no, probably not.

I do wonder how much of this is age / life stage and impacts of continued use...and if it's possible to have an odd night with no detrimental impacts...

That said, the only thing I've come up with where I genuinely do think alcohol enhances the night is for dancing (because I'm really very bad and self conscious about it, but it is really fun).

Then also there are the odd people who I only really have a good night with when drinking, but that in itself is problematic right?!

Then the idea of having a nice drink as a reward at home seems great it theory but in practice tends to end up with overdrinking and all the after-effects, or having just a couple then falling asleep watching something and waking up feeling rubbish with bed still to come. Plus I can no longer concentrate on relaxing and watching or reading properly with any alcohol...

Trying to untangle all this!

Morning.

I’m giggling at the typo - sorry 🤣🤣.

@Beachtasticaside from all that you’ve said and I’m really sorry you had those thoughts, whether they were alcohol induced or not, how does it make you feel about drinking again in the future? Would you still contemplate it on special occasions.

I’ve said before that I moderated last year before abstaining this year so far. Whenever I did have a drink last year it just didn’t taste or make me feel any of the things that I thought it would, the wine wasn’t as delicious as I remembered and the fuzzy feeling was unpleasant rather than making me feel all warm and happy. I’m trying to remember this when my cravings hit - because I’m still getting cravings (no where near to the extent I did but they are still there).

Will I drink again?. At the minute I like committing to not drinking that day, and slightly longer context, this next 100 days. I’m hoping it’ll get to the stage I don’t really even muse over it.

Like @CoffeeCupMilk - I’m still ‘untangling’ and probably because I still need to untangle means I shouldn’t drink.

@PeacheyPeach - I do think we’ve so much backdated recovery to do that the reset probably will take time. It’s understandable you will feel exhausted at times. At least you know this is a natural process.

Thanks everyone, I think it probably is everything catching up, also the ongoing stresses of bringing up ( at times ) difficult teens it can take a toll which maybe before I've just masked with alcohol 😕
@Imaginingdragonsagain I really want to not drink again, but then I think about going on holiday and loving the local wine, I never over drink on holiday it's odd, I can moderate on holiday so I think that will be when I perhaps have a drink. But I don't want to drink otherwise. I'm sick of coming home from social things and feeling like I've said something I shouldn't, or I've over shared something that I wouldn't dream of talking about at any other time. Or just a general unease that I've shown myself up, being the loudest or silliest,
Or sharing the best part of a bottle of vodka with DH on a random week day when I think about that, it's embarrassing, id love to just have one as a little night cap but one always leads to 3 or 4, and then that kick starts drinking for the week then , I usually think oh well I've started now and it leads to more, I'm never rolling around drunk or anything but I definitely am probably a bit tipsy, and it's just so irresponsible and wrong, that writing this down makes me feel actually quite ashamed

@PeacheyPeach the tiredness will be your body recalibration and recovering this can take weeks/months depending on how much you drank and of course how your body works individually.Try and rest as much as possible, easier said than done I know!

To the pp who asked about staying dry. For me at the moment it's one day at a time to hopefully complete this 100 day challenge and will see from there. I'm just going with the flow and have completely surprised myself to how far I've got. Never in a million years on the 1st of January did I honestly think that I would make it this far. Will see what the future holds.

@PeacheyPeach I can totally relate to the feelings of embarrassment and shame. When these memories come back to me, I acknowledge them and add them to my "why" files. Then I think to myself there's nothing I can do about the past but I can certainly try and change the future

@needastrongone
How does it make you feel about drinking again in the future? Would you still contemplate it on special occasions.

Good question! I think it can be hard to let go of the idea that booze is "fun" despite some negative experiences with it.

What you can guarantee is that the way it affects your brain chemistry/mood is terribly unpredictable. That should be enough to put me off going near it again, especially now I know that a complete lunatic lurks in the shadows of my mind! 😨 (I think a past history of very abusive relationships reared its ugly head)

Getting fit this year has been great because in the past, I've tended to drink out of stress and/or boredom. Whereas now, fitness goals have become a very rewarding pursuit that I don't want to derail.

Booze, like chocolate, has built-in "moreishness", so I prefer an all-or-nothing approach and manage "nothing" virtually all the time. But I don't think occasional drinks on special occasions are a problem, because I don't feel at all inclined to make it a regular habit. My whole lifestyle now is geared up around other activities that I enjoy more.

I'd like to say I'll never touch another drop, but that's probably not true, although I don't feel particularly bothered about not drinking - I don't feel I'm missing out on anything.